fr Page 217 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Some Bears Wrestled Over Some Garbage
This soft-ass wrestling match between two bear cubs who were trying to eat garbage broke out in New Jersey this week. Two things:...
Will Smith Ejected For "Foreign Substance"
Brewers pitcher Will Smith earned an ejection tonight from crew chief Jim Joyce after Braves skipper Fredi Gonzalez raised an objection over the existence of a foreign substance on Smith’s wrist....
Madison Bumgarner Is The First Pitcher To Take Clayton Kershaw Deep
Madison Bumgarner’s newspaper wasn’t wet today. The Giants pitcher hit a strong solo home run off Clayton Kershaw in the third inning....
Your Racist Uncle Will Love This Picture Of The Cardinals' Mascot
Of course Fredbird, the official mascot of the St. Louis Cardinals, would be the one sports mascot to attend an event hosted by the St. Louis Police department and hold up a “Police Lives Matter” sign. It was never going to be any other way....
Giancarlo Stanton Ruining Baseballs Almost Makes Up For Jeffrey Loria
Back in February, Sports Illustrated had a neat cover story on slugger Giancarlo Stanton, his injury last season, and the Miami Marlins’ new strategy of not fielding an embarrassing team. For a minute, the article really convinced the reader that owner Jeffrey Loria cared about his franchise. Stanto...
A Perfect Picnic Beer For Fruit Realists
The Fruits of the Field are the very finest family of solid foodstuff, preferable even to the glorious Meats, Cheeses, and Processed Grains, and eons better than the mere Vegetables, Candies, and Gelatins. This is because fruits are generally attractive (even the meatiest among us will admit that a ...
A Zac Efron Movie About DJs: Why?
Alternate headlines for this post include: Don’t Make Movies About DJs, Just Don’t; See Dozens Of White Boys Jump Into A Pool; and What Steve Aoki Hath Wrought. Inspired by Diplo’s Instagram account and written by a fifth-year named Tad with a closet full of neon tanks, here is a trailer for a movie...
This Post Exists So You Can Make Funny Fish Jokes
Here’s Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, explaining to USA Today why he needed to shake up his team by doing something as radical as naming his GM the new manager:...
What Are The Marlins Doing?
Jeffrey Loria has a nasty habit of firing his managers. With yesterday’s ax of Mike Redmond, GM Dan Jennings becomes the Marlins’ sixth manager since 2010, and marks Loria’s fifth in-season managing change dating back to 2001 with the Expos....
Marlins Fire Mike Redmond Minutes After Sixth Loss In Seven Games
Jeffrey Loria is a weird baseball man, and he continues to do weird baseball things....
Australian Soccer Chief Falls Off Podium At Trophy Ceremony
Melbourne Victory beat Sydney FC 3-0 last night to take Australia’s top soccer trophy, but all most Aussies will remember about the evening is 84-year-old FFA chairman Frank Lowy falling off the stage while trying to present the champions with their award....
Tim Lincecum Is Struggling To Stay Upright
Something about the pitcher’s mound in Cincinnati tonight has Giants hurler Tim Lincecum falling all over the place, in multiple innings:...
Soccer Manager Goes After Referee, Is Held Back By Riot Police
Montevideo Wanderers manager Alfredo Arias had to be held back by riot shield-bearing police following his team’s loss to Argentine side Racing Club in the second leg of tonight’s Copa Libertadores match....
How To Fight A Debt-Collection Letter
At some point in this unblemished modern world of ours, you’re going to receive a letter claiming that you owe someone money. If it’s a real debt from a real bank or collections agency, then, yeah, unfortunately, you’re going to have to pay at least some of it somehow. But there’s also the likelihoo...
Report: NBA GMs See No Problem With Hack-A-Shaq
The NBA’s general managers held their annual meeting in Chicago today, and one of the topics discussed was the intentional fouling of bad free throwers, known as Hack-A-Shaq or Hack-A-[Insert Terrible Free Thrower]. CBS’s Ken Berger reports that there was “no overwhelming consensus” from executives ...
Cristiano Ronaldo And His Teammates Were Really, Really Sad About Losing
We all know how great Cristiano Ronaldo and his Real Madrid teammates are. But acknowledging that doesn’t preclude us from cackling maniacally when they lose, and especially at the distraught looks on their faces when it happens, like today against Juventus. So here are a bunch of pictures of just t...
Giants Opening Day Features Madison Bumgarner Riding A Horse Onfield
The Giants opened their home schedule in San Francisco today, which meant the World Champions held the appropriate ceremony to raise the World Series banner. That ceremony also featured World Series MVP and post-mensch Madison Bumgarner riding a horse, in the outfield, before the game....
Crazy Minor League Manager Throws Another Patented On-Field Tantrum
Frisco RoughRiders manager Joe Mikulik is no stranger to the in-game meltdown; his name first appeared in these pages nine years ago en route to a SHOTY nomination; a more recent tantrum a year ago also earned our admiration. So while it’s no surprise Mikulik exploded Saturday night after umpire Br...
Boston U. Goalie Blows Late NCAA Title Game Lead With Huge Boner
A baffling mistake by Matt O’Connor allowed the puck into his own goal and blew Boston University’s 3-2 lead on Providence in the NCAA national championship game. Kyle McKenzie would eventually be credited with the goal, but O’Connor’s boner only grew bigger when minutes later he allowed the Friars...