fr Page 219 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jim Tomsula Compares 8-8 Season To Sandwich, Might Just Be Kinda Hungry
Frank Gore left the 49ers for the Colts, linebackers Patrick Willis and Chris Borland retired, and another linebacker tore his ACL while working out. New head coach and incredibly quotable man Jim Tomsula is having a rough first offseason so far. In unrelated news, he compared San Francisco's .500 s...
Commercial Shandies Are For Suckers. Drink This Beer Instead.
Beer is very useful. In just the past few days I have relied on beer to help me relate to my fellow man, to make college basketball interesting, and to wean me off my Tylenol PM addiction. Beer can also be used to liven up an otherwise limp pot of whatever-bean chili, to repair a dicey relationshi...
Two Premier League Goalkeepers Had To Be Stretchered Off The Pitch
It's a dangerous day to be a goalkeeper in the English Premier League. ...
Idiot Official Calls Bullshit Technical Foul On Ed Cooley
Providence coach Ed Cooley "earned" a technical foul late in the Friars' Round of 64 nightcap against Dayton in Columbus when his fiery timeout speech featured him tossing a chair to the floor. One official took offense—to equipment abuse, apparently—and charged Cooley with a technical foul, adding ...
If You Like Slick, Ridiculous Passing, Root For Providence's Kris Dunn
Providence coach Ed Cooley is renowned for his recruiting foresight, having helped land Craig Smith, Tyrese Rice, and other under-scouted players as an assistant at Boston College, but there weren't many layers for him to peel back with Kris Dunn, the most thrilling passer in the country. ...
My Beloved Stuffed Animal Needs A Bath, And I'm A Nervous Wreck
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
If You Like Lanky, Versatile Big Men, Root For Frank Kaminsky
If the only skin you have in March Madness is the money you've invested in bracket pools, might I suggest paying attention to the 7-foot Midwesterner with the name of a 50-year-old plumber? Wisconsin's extremely talented forward Frank Kaminsky has led the 31-3 Badgers to their first-ever No. 1 see...
If You Hate College Basketball, Root For Iowa State
Maybe you're one of those basketball aesthetes who dreads March Madness, who just doesn't understand why anyone would want to watch a bunch of semi-skilled college kids try to hump a ball into a basket 35 seconds at a time. That's fine! You can hate college basketball all you want, but I'm here to t...
Retiring From NFL To Juggle Grenades Is A Bad Idea, Says Mike Florio
Bright and promising 24-year-old 49ers linebacker Chris Borland announced his retirement yesterday, after just one season in the NFL. He wants to preserve his neurological and cognitive functioning, and figures a decade of smashing his head into things isn't the best way to do it. Seems reasonab...
Everyone Wants Chris Borland To Mean Something
The San Francisco 49ers' official statement on Chris Borland's retirement doesn't mention why he's retiring, of course. It has a quote from the general manager on how they respect his decision, and a big fat paragraph on his accomplishments in a successful rookie season, but nothing stands out quite...
Promising NFL Rookie Retires Because Of Concerns Over Head Trauma
Despite being a rookie drafted in the third round, linebacker Chris Borland was an important part of the 49ers defense last season, even starting eight games. With Patrick Willis retiring and Justin Smith reportedly considering the same, the 49ers will rely on Borland even more heavily this season...
Ray McDonald Claims He's Going To Sue Woman Who Accused Him Of Rape
Former San Francisco 49ers defensive end Ray McDonald has told ESPN that he plans on filing a defamation lawsuit against the woman who accused him of raping her last year. ...
Here's A Bear To Help You Rise Above The Bullshit
How's your week been? Unless you're, like, George Clooney, you've probably found yourself muttering something along the lines of, "Man, this is bullshit ..." while dealing with some bullshit. Maybe your boss upbraided you for some crap that wasn't your fault, or maybe you haven't yet gotten your bi-...
How Jordan Cameron Used The NFL Media
For about two hours yesterday, before he signed with the Dolphins, TE Jordan Cameron was returning to the Browns. It was a "done" deal, according to multiple respected NFL reporters:...
How To Eat More (And Better) Fruits And Vegetables So You Don't Die
I live in Boston, which is to say that over the course of the past month or so I, along with millions of disgruntled others, have on more than one occasion found myself snowbound without proper provisions. I went to my local grocer in anticipation of an impending storm—this sounds a lot nicer than i...
The Colts Are Going For It
Indianapolis agreed to terms with Andre Johnson yesterday, adding the WR to a sizable and significant free-agency haul that figures to upgrade the Colts at multiple positions on both sides of the ball. Every year or two, one team decides that its window is as open as it's ever going to be, and makes...
Miami Officially Signs Ndamukong Suh. Will The NFL Fine Them Now?
Today what Chris Mortensen first reported three days ago was made official: Ndamukong Suh signed a monster deal to play for the Miami Dolphins. Everybody is reporting that Suh signed for six years and $114 million, with $60 million of that guaranteed ... the exact same numbers Mortensen first had ...
USWNT Striker Christen Press Is Way Too Fast
Like, those six players the USWNT's Christen Press runs past aren't scrubs. That's France, one of the best national teams in the world. And even they can't keep up with Press as, with two wicked bursts, she flies past them like they're stuck in quicksand before passing the ball into the back of th...
Racing Club's Ingenious Goal Is Why We Need More Free Kick Shenanigans
Seriously, why isn't there more experimentation on free kicks? As Racing Club proved in the Copa Libertadores last night, there are trickier, probably more effective ways to score from a dead ball than just thumping it vaguely towards goal. We have enough evidence. Let's put it to use....