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A Very Quick Correction To A Very Dumb Rick Reilly Column
Rick Reilly writes: "Jersey Rule No. 3: You may not wear a jersey if somebody else in your group is already wearing one. This is also known as The Fedora Rule. No two guys in any group can be wearing a fedora. The second man's fedora must be trashed, crushed or sold. You never saw Sinatra and Dean M...

HOLY SHIT TOM BRADY CUT HIS HAIR
What does that face tell you? He looks guilty to me. Is this some form of self-inflicted punishment? Or is he punishing us? Did Gisele make him do it? Did Belichick make him do it? Did Jesus get jealous and make him do it? Did the Bills make him do it? Did ESPN The Magazine make him do it? Will the ...

More Overwrought Fantasy Emails: Joe's Going To Carve You Up, Drink Your Blood, Rape Your Sister, And Beat Your Mother
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at...

Giants Rookie Conor Gillaspie Had A Very Rookie Inside-The-Park Homer Last Night (Video)
There are two things that make this—Conor Gillaspie's first major league home run—a very rookie home run: 1. The stumble and trip as he is waved home ( "Honestly, I was pretty embarrassed," he said after the game. "I didn't want to get up"); and 2. The fact that once he had made it home and set al...

Growing Up On NFL Violence In A Violent Neighborhood
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

I-Team: Was Bruce Bochy Giving Interviews On The Shitter Last Night At Dodger Stadium?
Tipster Andrew sent us the above photo of the San Francisco Giants manager and added this: "Check out this screen shot of Bruce Bochy's postgame interview. Notice anything odd in the background? Is it possible the man is giving an interview while dropping a deuce?"...

Bryan Stow Speaks His First Words Since Dodger Stadium Beating
Great update via the website through which Bryan Stow's family keeps the world apprised of how his recovery from a brutal beating outside Dodger Stadium is going....

Terry Francona Says Sphincters Remain Unclenched In The Red Sox Clubhouse
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tito denies feeling any pressure....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
When KFDX from Wichita Falls, Texas needed someone to shout-out the big Knox City/Newcastle game last weekend, they knew Chad McGhee was the man for them....

Missing Homeless San Francisco Giants Fan Found In LA
Known simply as Billy (with a last name believed to be Chamberlain), he had endeared himself to a number of people affiliated with the Giants—players, coaches, security, writers—by pleasantly hanging around the parking lot for years. And then Billy was gone, his absence noteworthy enough to make th...

"Hit 'Em In The Face As Hard As You Can," Then Pray: Pee-Wee Coach Shows Why Football Won't Be Getting Less Violent
A reader sent in this video of a Texas U6 team getting a pep talk from its coach before a game. He exhorts the Frisco Gators to push hard, be tough, and "hit 'em in the face as hard as you can." (One of his kids corrects him—"in the chest"—to nervous laughter from parents.) But before the face- or...

Watch A High School Cheerleader Get Run Over By A High School Football Team
Prior to last night's San Luis Obispo/Oxnard high-school football game, one unfortunate cheerleader made the mistake of standing guard near the tunnel though which players charge onto the field....

Watch A Nervous MLS Rookie Recite A Spoken-Word Love Poem To Hope Solo
C.J. Sapong is a rookie forward for Sporting Kansas City, and he is creepily heartsick for goalie-dancer Hope Solo. So with the U.S. women's national team in town for Saturday's friendly against Canada, Sapong did what any tormented soul would do: he "stayed up late" and wrote her a spoken word lo...

In West Virginia, Even The Old Ladies Spit On Opposing Football Players
Another day, another affecting tale of the pristine image of fans at West Virginia University. At least according to Maryland lineman A.J. Francis, who informed the Washington Post of how deep his family's roots in the Mountain State go before he then shared this heartwarming little story:...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And Blistering Jerry Jones Take Down
You should have heard the excitement in Chad McGhee's tone during the weekly call. It was unparalleled in football analytica. Such is what one would expect when the mighty Knox City Greyhounds got off the schneid with a 47-0 victory over the Rule Bulldogs....

Read Braylon Edwards' $14 Million Slander Lawsuit Against The Busboys Who Said He Attacked Them
A little over a month ago, we brought you a couple stories about then-free-agent wide receiver Braylon Edwards—one about his troubled history and another about a murky nightclub brawl....

Reds Scrub Juan Francisco Hit This Home Run All The Way Out Of The Stadium
Holy dear lord. That is a lot of power from Reds third baseman Juan Francisco. That is the kind of power that makes Adam Dunn weep. Juan Francisco could hit a ball this far before he's reached his 150th MLB plate appearance—what can he do next? This is why we—well, someone—watches September baseba...

NC State's Basketball Coach Will Jump Out Of A Plane And Land At The 50-Yard Line For, Um, "Military Appreciation Week"
Does someone get this? Because we're not sure we get this. Southeastern college basketball was only recently liberated from the tyranny of Bruce Pearl, its chief coach-mascot, and now it's got another one on its hands....

Daniel Snyder Finally Dismisses His Dumbass Libel Lawsuit Against The Washington City Paper
Let this serve as We Are All Dave McKenna CCXVIII ......

At Least Four Arizona State Fans Went To Last Night's Game In Blackface
Your morning roundup for Sept. 10, a day when it's apparently illegal for wannabe vampires to bite homeless men outside the neighborhood Hooters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....