fr Page 323 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
American Almost Wins Boston Marathon!
So close. So far. Kenya's Geoffrey Mutai ran the fastest marathon ever, but failed to officially break the world record because of a tailwind. American Ryan Hall finished fourth. The women's race, however, offered the best hope for an American win in 26 years, when Desiree Davila surged past Carol...
Johan Franzen's Face Is A Sight To Behold
It hasn't even been a full week since Johan Franzen's jacked-up mug became post-worthy (See: NHL Playoff Blood Flows Red On The Regular-Season Rink). Less than 1.67 games into the playoffs, tipster Adam R. sends along this photographic artistry with the comment, "Franzen's face took a little bit mo...
The Tax Man's Charges Against Lenny Dykstra Actually Involve A Kitchen Sink
Your morning roundup for April 16, the day Ralphie turns 40, making a whole lot of people question their very mortality, their confidence as fra-gee-lay as a leglamp....
Reader Writes In About "Heinous," Camel-Toe-Laden Fishing Program; We Fix It
Matthew writes in, and we solve the problem....
It Sure Looks Like Brian Wilson's Pal The Machine Had A Lovely Day After The Closer's Hair-Metal Birthday Bash
About an hour and a half after the Brian Wilson Hair-Metal Birthday Extravaganza gallery was posted this time yesterday, tipster Kevin F. chimed in to say, "the beard's b-day has some nice pics, but the video from the baseball game the next day was better. The Machine streaks through the bleachers...
If You Throw An Octopus On The Ice in Detroit You Could Be Fined $500 And Ejected (UPDATE: Statements from Red Wings, Police)
Tommy B. got home from last night's Detroit/Phoenix game but despite a Game One victory, he was sad. Sad because he had a run-in with Johnny Law. This, because he threw an octopus on the ice....
Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....
It Sure Looks Like Brian Wilson Had A Lovely Birthday In Scottsdale
Tipster Nick wrote in to share some inside information about the time last month when he met, and took pictures of, San Francisco Giants closer Brian Wilson. Or so he says....
Watch Tim Lincecum Pitch In Super Slo-Mo
We went ahead and did our best to de-corporatize Tim Lincecum's Red Bull spot for your enjoyment (basically, we took out the sound). Red Bull used the same effect you see in those wonderful NBA Phantom spots — courtesy of something called the Phantom Flex High Speed digital camera system — to reco...
The Jimmer Is Too Famous To Attend The Classes, BYU Says
From the Mormons Reap What They Sow Dept.: Jimmer has had to stop attending classes on the BYU campus because his celebrity is too distracting. Seriously....
FreeDarko Says Goodbye
FreeDarko is taking down its shingle, which is terrible news. Go read all the tributes they've compiled on the site. There's very little I can add, except to say what I've said elsewhere: No one around described basketball — the actual, physical event — better than these guys did. I remember in part...
NHL Playoff Blood Flows Red On The Regular-Season Rink
Thanks to tipster Noah D. for sending in this shot of Johan Franzen of the Detroit Red Wings after he'd been face-cut by Blackhawk Duncan Keith's stick in today's regular-season finale....
Bad Beats: Handicapping An <i>American Idol</i> That Has Gone Horribly, Horribly Wrong
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....
We Can Infer From This Video That Heidi Watney Does Not Like Her Food Fried
Baseball's on-field reporters, much like NBA's sideline reporters, are often sent to ask asinine questions and do asinine things on camera. It's a part of the job. Today in Cleveland, as the Sox did indeed crawl their way into an 0-6 start, NESN sent Heidi Watney to try Progressive Field's chicken...
ESPN's Corporate Blog Finds Rock Bottom Somewhere In This Idiot's Office
If you're at all like me, you've avoided ESPN's in-house blog, Front Row, in much the same way you avert your eyes whenever a cat starts licking its own asshole. But this? This is just too much....
Real Men Support The Cleveland Indians By Kissing One Another On Live Television
Your morning roundup for April 7, the day that attempted courtroom eye-gouging became a no-no....
The Dodgers Seemingly Want Their Fans To Stop Beating People Into Comas
Six days after a San Francisco Giants fan was brutally beaten outside Dodger Stadium, former LAPD Chief William Bratton has been hired to review security at and around the park. Said team owner Frank McCourt, Bratton will "lead a top-to-bottom review of our current practices and make recommendation...
Watch Andruw Jones Get Hit With A Bunch Of Onion Rings
Sweet justice for all those Braves and Dodgers fans who watched Jones pork up while on big contracts. And Jones says, "Sweet justice? I wanted sweet relish!" Twins win, 5-4, in extras, after Rafael Soriano and co. offered the first of many delightful late-inning implosions to come this season. [Vi...
This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....
Kickball Rec League Captain Sends Out Fantastically Bitchy Email To His Underperforming Team
An Atlanta-area kickball team recently suffered a demoralizing 20-0 loss. Yes, we're familiar with how serious some people are about their kickball and it's never fun to get blown out. However, if you have to play with this fun lovin' bunch of sad-sacks it's still inexcusable to go all Earl Weaver ...