fr Page 382 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your NL West "Preview"
Whew, last one. We'd like to point out a couple of the pictures above. First, we enjoyed choosing a picture of Tony Clark for the D-Backs one, considering he's the opposite of a Diamondback this year. Second: Steve Finley is on the Rockies? Wow!...

The 49ers Welcome You To Pleasantville
In a perfect world, the 49ers would have a sparkling new stadium near Candlestick Point. There would be parks and open markets and milling shoppers, and ample free parking for all. Also, Alex Smith would never, ever be sacked. These are things as San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom sees them, and he's ...

How Bud And Company Are Justifying Keeping Games From You
OK, so here's where everything stands with the Major League Baseball / DirectTV / Extra Innings deal from yesterday. Richard Sandomir has the scoop in The New York Times....

Baseball Season Preview: San Francisco Giants
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....

The Money's Out There, You Pick It Up, It's Yours
Let's get caught up again with the orgy of NFL free agent activity. If you're an NFL player, and your agent couldn't work it out so you were a free agent this off-season, you should probably fire him....

Barry Bonds Delivers One Into Your Gap
In the years that I've stopped paying attention, the memorabilia business has gone in directions I couldn't have anticipated... namely, up the ass....

NFL General Managers Make It Rain
The first twenty-four hours of the NFL's free agency period have come and gone. There was a flurry of activity last evening ... let's get ourselves caught up....

Beer Barons And Canadian Bloggers Just Can't Seem To Get Along
This man is Frank D'Angelo, a "beer baron" and general Canadian raconteur. He's also, oh, a bit of a dope. After Canadian blogger — bloggers are so cute when they're Canadian — Neate Sager at Out Of Left Field made fun of D'Angelo a few times, the phonetically challenged fellow sent a nasty "seize" ...

Barry Bonds Never Can Say Goodbye
The most telling exceprt from KGO radio's big interview with Barry Bonds on Tuesday? It wasn't that Bonds has apparently been getting death threats (there's enough nuts out there to make that sadly inevitable). Nor was it that Bonds says he feels "exhausted" (honestly, when hasn't he?). We're not ev...

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move
Click to view Robotic Beer Launching Refrigerator - The most amazing bloopers are here...

The Giants Are Obsessed With Paula Abdul
You might remember last year, when Barry Bonds became the only man to ever dress up as Paula Abdul and not need fake breasts. (It was for the yearly Giants' "American Idol" contest, or something.) Well, the Giants pulled off the stunt again this year, and we have to say, this whole Barry Bonds and B...

Farney Apparently Has An Email Account
Because there's nothing more ethically sound than quoting a freaking Craig's List ad and extrapolating it out to connote normal human activity — and little more fun! — The Big Lead thinks Ryan Freel might be having a little Craig's List morning fun....

Hey, How Come All We Got Was A Team Ghana Keychain?
German hospitals are reporting a huge upsurge in maternity reservations for the month of April, which happens to be nine months after the 2006 World Cup was hosted in that country. Give us a minute while we figure out what's going on....

Some Helpful Sports Tips To Surviving Valentine's Day
Well, kids, it's Valentine's Day, which, for sports fans, means a day in the middle of the most barren sports month of the year to come up with tortured analogies and Manning-Chesney jokes. Hey, everybody needs a news peg....

Your New 2006 Tour de France champion? Not Quite Yet, Oscar
Wait, just hold everything here. The Nation of France, postponing a major confrontation? That's odd. The air was thick with nervous anticipation (and, of course, fermented cheese) today as that country's national doping agency was expected to rule on Floyd Landis and the Urine Sample of Mystery. Bla...

Daulerio at SBXLI: Yes, Somehow Freddie Mitchell Got Into the Maxim Party
Maxim's Superbowl Shitshow party was everything one could hope for and so much more. The Sagamore Hotel transformed itself into a beachfront paradise with celebrities and athletes, and, of course FredEx and his Godly hands cavorting about the joint. Freddie Mitchell was attached to Irishman Brady Qu...

If You See These People At Large, Turn Them In IMMEDIATELY
Sure, you might look at this picture and think you see the kindly, warm-hearted parishioners of The Fall Creek Baptist Church in Indianapolis. It might make you feel warm; it might make you long for home. You might see nice old ladies during an Hawaiian-themed event. You might see that....

Bonds Contract: Baseball's Version Of A Constitutional Crisis?
So someone took the time to actually read the contract that Barry Bonds signed with the Giants on Monday, and they made a startling discovery. According to the fine print, Bonds not only must play both ends of any doubleheaders, he must dress as Paula Abdul in the second game. Also, there's this:...

Forever Barry
He's 43, kind of a dick and subject to a variety of ailments, including, if you believe the horse steroids charges, laminitis. But nonetheless, Barry Bonds is officially back in the fold with the San Francisco Giants, ready to tackle Mt. Aaron once again. Whew. We were on pins and needles....
