French Open Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
OK, We'll Ask: What's Going On With Roger Federer's Magic Bulge?
At left, a screengrab of Roger Federer from today's French Open semifinal. At right, a wire photo from Federer's quarterfinal matchup on Tuesday. Exact same outfit: much more prominent frank and beans....
Roger Federer Causes Fan Hysteria, Loss In Gravity
The poor girl just wanted a selfie with the maestro, and all she got was a pitying hug. But — and I say this as a former boy band fanatic — I would not completely rule out the possibility that there was some kind of ulterior motive going on here. After all, a pitying hug from Roger Federer is stil...
Viktor Troicki Can Blame His French Open Exit On A 12-Year-Old Boy
Viktor Troicki, the 15 seed in the French Open, nearly upset No. 4 Andy Murray today in Paris, in a five set match that took two days to complete. Murray won 4-6, 4-6, 6-3, 6-2, 7-5, but in a game in which any single point can swing the momentum of a match, Troicki will likely remember his interru...
Rafael Nadal's Post-Match Comments Display The Self-Esteem Of A Teenage Girl
Rafael Nadal may not be quite on Novak Djokovic's unbeatable level, but, uh, he's still number one in the world. You'd think that would manifest itself in his words with reporters after a straight-sets victory over Ivan Ljubicic today....
Novak Djokovic Is So Good That He Already Won Tomorrow's Match
Take note, aspiring tennisfolk, because this is the kind of thing that happens for you if you're on a 41-match win streak in 2011....
At Least One Bounce Went Right For Kim Clijsters In Her Second-Round Exit
Kim Clijsters, seeded No. 2 in the French Open, lost to Arantxa Rus (real name) in the second round yesterday. She fell 3-6, 7-5, 6-1 to the 114th-ranked player in the world. But it wasn't all bad! Clijsters also had one of the most fantastical bounces we've ever seen in tennis. This is the kind o...
47 Of Maria Sharapova's Grunts In Her Second-Round French Open Win
Maria Sharapova faced Caroline Garcia, a 17-year-old French up-and-comer, in the second round of the French Open today. Garcia took the first set and led 4-1 until midway through the second, when Sharapova took 11 straight games to win, 3-6, 6-4, 6-0. Sharapova's known for her grunting, of course;...
Admiring Novak Djokovic's Last 40 Match Points
Novak Djokovic has won 38 straight tennis matches in the 2011 season, and he hasn't lost in 40 outings, dating back to November's Davis Cup. His dominance has been nearly absolute; in seven months, he's dropped just eight sets, and that includes seven wins against either Rafael Nadal or Roger Fede...
There Was A Poignant, Action Figure-Only Funeral For The Macho Man In A Backyard This Weekend
Your morning roundup for May 23, the day Beyoncé ran the world. Staged Macho Man funeral via HuggingHaroldReynolds.com....
Watch ESPN's Doris Burke Flub Her Lines About Oklahoma City Arena
Your morning roundup for May 22, the day some people in North Carolina started taking Pirates of the Caribbean too literally, but not in a cool swashbuckling way or anything....
Future Of French Open Site Spurs Most Pretentious Debate Ever
On Sunday, the 180 delegates of the French Tennis Federation will meet to decide the future of Roland Garros Stadium, which could change locations by 2016. This has fueled a wonderfully pretentious debate on the merits of the two possible outcomes: shall the century-old tournoi remain in posh wester...
Federer Loses, Ending Possibly Unbreakable Streak
Roger Federer owed Robin Soderling a beer for taking out Nadal last year. Well, consider them even, now that Soderling has ended Federer's streak of 23 consecutive Grand Slam semifinals. [ATP]...
Simona Halep Loses The Boobs, Loses
Simona Halep did indeed show up to the French Open significantly less top-heavy than she was a year ago, but she still lost in the first round. Hey, you don't just bounce back from something like that. [Mirror/Daily Mail]...
French Open Idiot Has Done This Many, Many Times Before
The man's name is "Jimmy Jump" and he fancies himself some sort of professional shit-stirrer at sporting events. He has his own website, actually and solicits donations from people to help support his "funny antics." [Jimmy Jump (HT:Bill R)]...
Barca Loon Attempts To Rattle Federer With Annoying Flag-To-The-Face Taunt
During the second set of the French Open, Roger Federer was hassled by a person waving a Barcelona flag, who somehow managed to make his way onto the Roland Garros court and get all up in Federer's face....
Greatest Tennis Player Ever Finally Conquers The Pretty Clay
That's 14 major titles for Roger Federer, tying Pete Sampras, and securing his place as one of the most dominant athlete's in history. R-Fed waxed Robin Soderling 6-1, 7-6 (1), 6-4. [NYT]...
Serena Williams Bounced From French Open
A three-set loss to Svetlana Kuznetsova. So both Williams sisters, Maria Sharapova, the chick with the giant rack, and the shrieking girl are out of the French Open. It's almost like they're daring you to pay attention. [Roland Garros]...
Female Tennis Star With Prodigious Backside Accuses Opponent Of Cheating
"Drama" was the word Serena Williams used after her French Open match against Maria Jose Martina Sanchez. Williams claims Sanchez used her arm instead of a racket to return a ball over the net, prompting a finger-pointing outburst and introspection....
A Strictly Business-Like Examination Of The Women's French Open Contenders And Their Respective Tawdry Photos
For those of you out there who are fans of yellow fuzzy balls bouncing off of clay courts, the French Open at Roland Garros begins this weekend. This is the favorite surface of Rafael Nadal and his exposed biceps, but those types of examinations can be found elsewhere online....
Serena Williams Scoots Out Down The Road
Earlier today (or yesterday, or whatever the heck time it is in Australia), Serena Williams lost in the French Open. Fortunately, this video, from our friends at The Fanhouse, reveals that her time in France was anything but a waste. It's cute: She dances like our aunt at a wedding. Of course, our a...