g Page 5005 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How Not To Leave A Message For A Woman You're Hoping To Date
Dudes: The follow-up phone call is important—but try not mention that you'll call again in one month because you're currently living with another woman you sort of care about, because you're also homeless. Save that for email. [Gawker]...

Darren Sharper-Visanthe Shiancoe Feud Elevated To "You're A Terrorist" Level
Now that Visanthe Shiancoe has posted this picture linking Darren Sharper to Osama bin Laden, the two NFL "rivals" are officially in the dumbest Twitter fight ever....

Armando Galarraga Absolutely Robbed Of A Perfect Game By Umpire's Bad Call
Detroit's Armando Galarraga just threw the 21st perfect game in Major League history and the second one this week. Unfortunately, umpire Jim Joyce turned the 27th out into a infield hit with a horrendously botched call. (UPDATE: Joyce has apologized.)...

So We Come To The End Of Ken Griffey Jr.
The Mariners have finally informed Ken Griffey Jr. that he retired from baseball nine months ago. Your lamentations of lost youth just excused themselves to send a wistful email to your yearnings for childlike wonder. [ESPN]...

Don't Be Afraid To Talk About Hockey
Will the Flyers make this a series or humbly submit to the overwhelming power of Antti Niemi? Would you rather see Philly humiliated or Chicago twisting in the wind? A tough call, but try to focus on the hockey. [AP]...

Rick Reilly®: King Of The Juice
"Anyway, it's not an important story," Rick Reilly writes in his latest, which, like all Reilly efforts, is basically a kitten-hanging-from-a-tree-limb poster expressed in words, "just one that squirts apple juice right in your face." Hmm. Sound familiar?...

Goalie Booms 80-Yard Free Kick, Scores Goal
For your viewing pleasure, we present Lassi Hurskainen, a former UNC Asheville soccer player currently toiling in the Finnish minor leagues for division-leading Riverball FC, absolutely nailing the indirect free kick and catching his counterpart absurdly off-guard. [Goal; H/T Kenny]...

Hidden Motor Rumors Hasten Cycling's Slow Death
Cycling's governing body will look into allegations that riders have been cheating by concealing small motors in the frames of their bikes. You know what? Fuck it. Let them strap rockets on the back, the sport's already a joke. [AP]...

World Cup Dis Track Is Our Generation's Lexington And Concord
"Over There" has been something of an unofficial theme song for our World Cup squad. No longer, now that this exists. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: "I Speak American."...

Blood Writes: "Cow crushed my thumb" (WARNING: STUPENDOUSLY GROSS)
About two months ago I was working at one of the farms at Ohio State and a cow went bat shit crazy crashing through one of the gates....

Relive The 1966 World Cup Final With The Magic Of Lego
The mad Germans at Legofussball.com have recreated in Lego the last time — SPOILERS — England won a World Cup. Ooh, do the Falklands War next! [Legofussball, via The Guardian]...

Won't Some NBA Team Please Draft This Short, Slow Filipino Basketball Player?
That's Chris Tiu, a popular basketball player in the Philippines. He has lots of fans who think some NBA team should draft him in the second round. One caveat: "At 5'11" he won't beat you with speed." [Draft Chris Tiu]...

Blood Writes: This Knee Has A Mouth (WARNING: PUS)
My knee after taking a nasty tumble trail running and the aftermath, 20 stitches later — Howard S....

Reggie Wayne Missed OTAs Because His Ex Stole His Credit Card
Wayne's ex-girlfriend allegedly charged $95,000 on his account, and could face fraud charges. Not sure how this excuses him from workouts, but it's a better excuse than "I don't want to." [USA Today]...

Blood Writes: The Mangled Foot From Switzerland (WARNING: UGLY FOOT ALERT)
My friend was studying abroad in Italy when he took a weekend trip to Interlochen, Switzerland..he tried to jump a fence and it nearly ripped his foot off — Jason...

Perfect Gentlemen: Rex Ryan Rides The Subway And Loves His Wife
This is a new series called "Perfect Gentlemen," wherein we feature stories from women (or men!) who've gone on dates with sports figures and had altogether positive experiences with them. In today's installment, Rex Ryan has figured it all out....

School Of Fight: Learning To Brawl With The Hockey Goons Of Tomorrow
In which our writer goes to the notorious hockey fight camp for kids, takes a teenager's punch to the kidneys, and winds up finding the bruised soul of the game. Camp photos by Chris Buck....

Last Night's Winner: Your Sex Life, Thanks To Bill Romanowski (UPDATE)
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like you, if you read Romocop's pathetic sex column posted at despicable content publisher Associated Content, for which he's being paid literally pennies....

Trivial Pursuit Creator Goes To Wheel Hub In The Sky
Chris Haney, the Canadian photographer who invented Trivial Pursuit, passed away at the age of 59. So that's who to blame for all those times you needed an orange pie piece and got stuck with a question about mixology. [Globe&Mail]...

Yet Another Miami Sorority Formal Ends In Drunken, Pukey Anarchy
The Fightin' Zeta Tau Alphas of Miami University became the third sorority at the Ohio school to be placed on probation this semester after a night of messy, over-served lunacy. At the zoo, of all places. Those poor animals....