g Page 5022 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Next Up, Lady Gaga Performing Her Hit Single, "Telegram"
How do the Orix Buffaloes, a Japanese baseball team, greet their visitors? With something called "Porker Face." I hope there's video involved, too. [Orix Buffaloes, via Adam]...

Last Night's Winner: Real Players Playing Golf
In sports, everyone is a winner — some people just win better than others. Like every golfer at the Quail Hollow Championship not named Tiger Woods, all of whom might have some peace and quiet and golf-claps, for once....

What Do Alexander Ovechkin, The Penguins And Jiffy Pop Have In Common?*
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Bachelor Party For One William F. Leitch Begins Now ...
Who among the chosen shall die? Will it be David Hirshey? Tommy Craggs? Half the NYmag.com's editorial staff? Stay tuned for the obits on Monday....

Now Here's A Reds Funk Song To Make Their Fan Base Recoil In Shame
Readers Seth & Jen watched that wonderful Notre Dame promo and thought they recognized those Midwestern-sports-funk stylings from the video you see here, a celebration of Reds fandom....

Things That Are Not Yet Banned By NFL.com: Pittsburgh #7 Jerseys With "Therapist" On The Back
It's the perfect gift for both Browns fans and Jezebel readers this Arbor Day. Plus, it's fun to say in your best Darrell Hammond-does-Sean Connery voice. [PhillyBlunt]...

Look! It’s Some Wonderful England Goals On Video!
After spending the morning moaning about the state of the England team in the build up to the World Cup, it seems only right to look on the sunny side with a short video compilation of some great goals....

Private Stache: A New Feature In Which We Revisit The Unintentionally Hilarious Sports Photography Of Yore
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Guilty Verdict For Luring Bear With Pic-A-Nic Basket
A Pennsylvania man was fined $6800 for illegally using donuts to bait and kill a 700-lb. black bear last year. He'll also lose his hunting permit for three years, plenty of time to think about his Boo-Boo. [Post-Gazette]...

Touchdown Jesus Wept: Notre Dame's Promo Video Is Funky, Awful
Notre Dame, a small Bible school with one of sports' more offensive nicknames, has decided to promote its athletic program by channeling Parliament-Funkadelic. The echoes just woke up and would like Notre Dame to please keep that awful racket down. [MSF]...

Brett Favre's Selfishness Has No Offseason
So now Favre says that if he plays again, he'll have to get ankle surgery first. A simple prognosis, yet he manages to shit on both Vikings and Packers fans with it....

Cockblocked By Luke Walton! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase six heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Last Night's Winner: The Emergence Of George Hill (As A Professional Basketball Player)
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Spurs' point guard George Hill, who helped the rickety San Antonio Spurs topple the Dallas Mavericks in six ref-marred games....

The Commodification Of Tiger Woods's Whoring Continues Apace
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Seattleites Find Bango The Buck's Ladder Stunt A Bit Derivative
Two-plus years ago, Squatch, ex-Seattle Supersonics mascot, pulled off the same stunt that has made Bango the Buck a minor celebrity — off an even-higher ladder. It's so like Seattle to point out they've been doing something longer....

Today In Wacky Reportage: How To Slightly Annoy Hockey Players
Whenever the Blackhawks score a goal at home, the Fratellis' "Chelsea Dagger" blares over the loudspeakers. A plucky reporter played it to several Canucks in an attempt either to psych them out or to recreate a moment from a terrible ABC sitcom. ...

PGA Players On Tiger's Steroids, Tiger's Women, Plus Some Other Golf Stuff
A quarter of pros think Woods used PEDs. Eight percent knew what he was up to before his Thanksgiving night crash. Ninety percent of you won't click through to the full survey, now that you know the juicy stuff. [SI]...

Mindy McCready's Forbidden, Goofy Love For Roger Clemens
Her lawyers say she was too whacked out to realize she signed-off on "Baseball Mistress (NSFW)", but, nonetheless, I still find her woozy interview about her puppy love with Roger Clemens mesmerizing....

Drew Brees, <em>Times-Picayune</em> Leave The Yard In Entirely Different Ways
"A packed house at Zephyr Field learned two things Wednesday night. One, that child sexual abuse is a big problem, and two, that New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees can smack home runs from either side of the plate." [Times-Picayune; related]...

The Bitch Slap Heard 'Round The Bleachers
When they're not humping each other in bathrooms or throwing beer or being sorta racist, the denizens of Wrigley Field are apparently slapping each other in the face. Except they're being sorta racist then, too....