g Page 5036 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Finally, Spring
Okay, I get it. Opening day should be a weekday afternoon, not a made-for-TV night game. And fans of 28 teams could care less about tonight's game. But still, what are you going to do — watch women's college basketball?...

Blind Driving: Unlikely To Become The Next Paralympic Sport
A Turkish pop star set a world record for the fastest blind driver, going 180mph. He would have gone faster, but the pedestrians stuck on his grille probably increased the wind resistance. [Reuters]...

Hold Off On The Gay Panic After Kanyon's Suicide
Yes, former WCW star Chris Kanyon was found dead yesterday. Yes, it was probably suicide. And yes, he might have been gay. But let's not overstate the importance of that last one....

Bernard Hopkins Has Strange Taste In Music
Wondering why Hopkins entered the ring with a children's clothing CEO singing a customized version of "My Way?" We've read the explanation, and we're still wondering. [NYDN]...

Watch Andrew Bogut's Arm Turn Into Spaghetti
Want to break a young player of the nasty habit of hanging on the rim after a dunk? Just show them this gruesome video of Bogut absolutely destroying his arm last night....

Some Losses Are More Painful Than Others
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The School That Gave Dick Nixon A Law Degree Vs. Burnt Couch U: Your Duke-WVU Open Thread
Go read Jason Zengerle's defense of Bob Huggins and Will Blythe's account of meeting Coach K. Discuss in the comments....

A Miracle For Easter Weekend: The Resurrection Of The Gus Johnson Soundboard
Fret not, weary reader. Be lulled to sleep by Jim Nantz no more. Gusgasm until you can Gusgasm no more. Rise and fire, friends. Rise and fire, forever. [Gus Johnson Sound Board]...

Chitwood Vs. Jemele Hill: Your Butler vs. Michigan State Open Thread
Can those streetwise Butler ballers continue their mid-major march to glory? Or is beach-combing Tom Izzo, Greatest Coach In The History Of HIstory, powerful? Settle it in the comments. (Photo:MLive)...

Manny Ramirez, Por Favor
Fresh off last year's season of scrutiny, ManRam is determined to prove that performance enhancers were not the reason for his All-Star swat. He's all business, the Dodgers say. 99 Problems But My Swing Ain't One, Manny's shirt says....

So Who's Terrorizing Erin Andrews Now? (UPDATE)
TMZ revealed the Sideline Princess is suffering from another round of internet torment, this time from a creepy Dan Patrick Show emailer, who wrote that he wanted Andrews "murdered" and sexual, violent things....

Look At All The Pretty Pictures: The iPad-Friendly Deadspin
Hello Saturday afternoon lurkers. If you go to beta.deadspin.com (and beta.gizmodo.com) you'll get a glimpse into the future. Express your feelings in the comments, please. Your feedback is encouraged. Even if it's profane....

Little Girl Cries Over Tweety Carter's Departure From Baylor. We've All Been There.
Via reader Ben comes this video of a 5-year-old girl who's incredibly, adorably distraught over the Baylor guard's approaching graduation. It is, I believe, the distilled essence of every Rivals.com message board in existence. [YouTube; somewhat related]...

Coach K Is A Loathsome, Humorless Prig, Part 1,294
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Basketball-Playing Rats Are Amazing, Gross
This video of rats playing basketball is mounting a furious challenge to our dog-playing-basketball video for supremacy in the ever-competitive category of mammals-playing-basketball videos. What's next, an Eddy-Curry-playing-basketball video?...

Redskins Have The Strangest Backfield Ever
Washington signs Willie Parker, planning to run the exclusive three-RB formation, in which he, Portis and Johnson line up, only to watch Jason Campbell doink the ball into the turf four yards from the line of scrimmage. [AP]...

The Gus Johnson Soundboard Is No More
CBS sent a cease and desist letter to the operator of the Gus Johnson soundboard. He's asking for legal advice, so hopefully Deadspin LLC can help Gus rise and fire on this Good Friday. [Gus Johnson Soundboard]...

Tailpipe: "... His Touch Sending Her Senses Into Overdrive"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Let's Shut Down MLS For A Little Bit
USA Soccer's plan was going so well. Let all the Euro players injure themselves in the lead-up to the world cup, and head to South Africa with the only healthy squad. So much for that, Brian Ching....

Time For A Lady To Have Her Say. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....