g Page 5058 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Presenting Your New Favorite Olympian
A simple question posed to Norweigan skiier Odd-Bjørn Hjelmeset about his silver medal in the men's 4x10 relay somehow led to a spectacular response, covering porn, Tiger woods, and brutal honesty....
Last Night's Winner: Scott Hamilton's Tear Ducts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Hamilton and everyone else who had themselves another happy cry last night over Joannie Rochette, winner of a bronze medal that looks golden from here....
The Canadian Woman, Seen Here In Her Natural Habitat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Every England Left-Back Out Of World Cup, Caught In Adultery Scandal
After Ashley Cole went down with a broken ankle, all of England's hopes rested on Wayne Bridge. Would he put the personal unpleasantness aside, for queen and country? Hell no....
Devin Hester Hasn't Heard About Sea World Yet
Not that an athlete forgetting to watch the 10 o'clock news is newsworthy in and of itself, but Devin Hester's blissful unawareness of yesterday's Sea World happening is delightful in its own strange way....
Great Moments In Public Urination Journalism
Villanova's junior guard Corey Stokes got busted for peeing in public, occasioning this line: "Stokes was urinating between two parked cars at about 3 a.m. while surrounded by several teammates." Jay Wright should be proud. That's real teamwork. [ZagsBlog]...
Arrested Bobsledder Has Colorful, Checkered Past
American bobsledder Bill Schuffenhauer was arrested, after allegedly assaulting his fiancée. It's another sad episode in the life of a man who always seems to find trouble....
Calm, Sober Man Explains Why He Fought Crazy Veteran On A City Bus
Even losing the world's most famous YouTube fight won't stop anyone from making the most of their 15 minutes. (And not in the way you'd expect.) Maybe Jerry Jones should host the rematch. [YouTube]...
Here's An Email I Sent To Jason Whitlock That Apparently Makes Me Look Crazy
Next time, I'll type slower and send it from my iPhone. [TheSportsHernia]...
Sexbots, Virginity, And A Heartwarming Joe Biden Poop Story
I have a serious recurring problem. Once a month or so, I will walk into a door before I have opened it. I go to a door, I grab the knob, and I begin pushing the door in before I have begun twisting the knob. Sometimes, I'll give the door full-on shoulder check before I have to back off, twist the k...
Russian Bobsledder A Little Too Pleased By Canadian Wipeout
The dirty unspoken secret of the Olympics is that for every frightening, bone-rattling, face-scraping wipeout, there's a thrilled athlete whose road to glory just got a little bit smoother. The trick is to not seem too thrilled about it....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Miss Elizabeth
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Miss Elizabeth, who died in 2003 of an overdose at the home of her boyfriend, Lex Luger....
Last Time I Took Ambien, I Had A Weird Dream About Scarlett Johansson And Axl Rose Playing Ping Pong
"On Tuesday of this week...[J]ohansson was seen playing pingpong with Rose at SPiN. "They were laughing the whole time," says a spy. "They looked like they were having fun." Woah. [NYPost]...
Last Night's Winner: Canadian Pride
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Canadians who, for the first time ever, have a reason to feel good about hosting the Olympics. Chin up, gang! You're good at stuff too!...
MTV, BET No Longer Safe From Chad Ochocinco
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Cavs To Set World Record For Sissiest World Record
There are a handful of down-on-their-luck teams chomping at the bit to sign LeBron James. He'd be the only attraction they'd need to sell tickets. Meanwhile, Cleveland is attempting to break the Guinness World Record for most Snuggies....
Only Death Or Golfing Can Take Down Jim Leyland
Leyland's pinky toe was broken after Gene Lamont ran over his foot with a golf cart. Leyland proceeded to gnaw the toe off to keep from missing a smoke break. [Detroit News]...
Slightly Racist Mascot To Be Replaced With Cult Favorite Squid Monster From Space?
The campaign is underway to name Admiral Ackbar, of "It's a trap!" fame, the new mascot at Ole Miss. Assuming Ole Miss's endowment is enough to cover George Lucas's licensing fees. [AJC]...
Ozzie Guillen's Twitter Is Spectacular, Controversial
Twitter was invented for people like Ozzie, whose brains are relatively unfiltered in the first place. And while he hasn't done anything wrong yet, White Sox management are understandably nervous....
This Would Never Have Happened If We Still Had Beepers
Patrick Beckert was an alternate for the 1000m, so when one skater went down injured, it might as well have been glory calling. But he didn't answer, because his cell phone was turned off. [Bild]...