g Page 5075 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Open Thread: Texas-UConn, Arkansas-Kentucky, Oklahoma State-KSU, Duke-Clemson, Etc.
Last one of the day. Suggested topic for discussion: the incredible fact that West Georgia's athletics program used 119 ineligible athletes from 2004-09. Someone get these guys in Conference USA....

Open Thread: Ohio State-WVU, Kansas-Iowa State, Marquette-'Cuse, Longwood-Savannah State, Etc.
Possible topics for discussion: Evan Turner's 19-10-6 line, whether Andy Katz's prose reads like a Swedish-to-English Babelfish translation, Tyshawn Taylor's Facebook profile, the shock of learning that Lawrence Moten is the Big East's all-time leading scorer, the Morrill Land-Grant Acts....

BREAKING: NEW BURGER KING IN MIAMI WILL SERVE BEER
"At the Whopper Bar South Beach, guests can pair a Whopper sandwich with Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors brews. With fries, the combo will run $7.99." This changes everything. [AP, via @jemelehill]...

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Ascension Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Open Thread: Michigan State-Minnesota, 'Nova-St. John's, Rutgers-G'Town, Etc.
We'll do another of these at 2 p.m. and again at 4 p.m. Possible topic for discussion: the new Spartans logo that looks more or less like the old one but has made people very angry nonetheless....

Mark Sanchez Graduates From Poise To Chutzpah
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Well, This Is Awkward: Maybe That <em>Isn't</em> Tiger Woods In Those Sex-Rehab Photos
My trust in the National Enquirer is unbounded, but X17 claims that these photographs, of a man who is not Tiger Woods sexlessly strolling the gentle paths of Pine Grove, show the same guy in the Enquirer's grainy photos....

Excerpts From "Underlying Ass(ets): What Venus Williams's Bottom Tells Us About Credit Default Swaps"
Napkin Gladwell is a journalist and bestselling author of books people read on airplanes. He occasionally provides Deadspin with excerpts of his upcoming essays....

Shawne Merriman's Fetus Wants Legal Recognition
Merriman was hit with a paternity suit this week, in an odd case in which he's admitted the unborn child is his. And before you ask, don't worry; Tila Tequila has not reproduced....

The One Where Jaimee Grubbs Banged Tiger For Haiti
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.(NSFW)...

Prospect Leaves A's To Become Padre, Hopefully An Angel
Grant Desme, one of Oakland's top prospects, is quitting baseball to join the priesthood. Is life without sex really better than life without wins? One thing remains the same: he still doesn't have a shot in hell. [MLB]...

Bad Beats: Why Your Betting System Sucks
Your weekly gambling column, featuring smart plays, oddball propositions, all your tales of woe — plus, betting advice from a 13-year-old boy! Send your stories to [email protected]. Subject: Bad beats....

Sportsmanship Fail: Up Big, Team Fouls To Reach 100
Houston's Yates High School 100-point streak was in jeopardy. So, comfortably ahead with three minutes left, they began fouling their humiliated opponents to get the ball back. This would be what James Naismith referred to as "a dick move."...

Who Dat? Ain't The Saints
The independent league St. Paul Saints will change their name to simply "The Paul" until after Sunday's NFC Championship. The Minnesota legislature is also in the process of de-canonizing Saint Brett. [Via Speedy McWeed]...

Cockblocked by Justin Long! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

UT Proves That Lane Kiffin Was A Hardened Criminal
The smear campaign against the newly-departed continues in earnest, as state and university officials confirm he never held an in-state driver's license. Throw away the key!...

Reuben Droughns Goes Up In Smoke
The former running back is under investigation for running a marijuana operation out of his spare bedrooms. More like Reuben Growns, am I right? Ugh, that was awful. More like Groans....

Russia Turns The Dreamtime Into A Nightmare
Aboriginal Australians are none too pleased with the routine the ice dancing favorites have planned for the Olympics, and it's not hard to see why. Look at them. They look like Mardi Gras came to Ferngully....

Chris Kluwe Says Vikings Will Control Their Bowels Against Saints
I'd like to see this drawn up on the chalkboard: "We'll have a plan that doesn't involve pooping our pants," Kluwe said, per the St. Paul Pioneer Press.[Via PFT]...

Today In TMZish Sports: The Search For The Identity Of Saints Sideboob Lady Gets Serious
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....