g Page 5098 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Verne and Gary's Not-So-Excellent Adventure
If you're like me, you may have found the announcing during yesterday's SEC Championship Game to be....underwhelming. Here's a compilation of Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson's greatest moments of confusion, obfuscation and outright lies....

Animal Abuse: Funnier In The Name Of School Rivalries, But Still Wrong
Despite what Oregon's uniforms will tell you (and they'll tell you a lot of things), ducks do not naturally come in orange and green. This little fella was spray-painted by some Beaver fans and left to die....

Greg Oden's Old Vietnam War Wound Acting Up Again
Oden's done for the year after fracturing his patella. (Don't embiggen the picture unless you want to see a man's patella.) Meanwhile, Kevin Durant is averaging 28, 7, and 3. Sorry Portland fans, at least you have...no other teams. [Oregonian]...

BCS Chaos Is The Buzzword Of The Weekend
To those of you rooting for the BCS to embarrass itself on a national stage last night, take heart: we are left with the least desirable national championship matchup imaginable....

Open Your Mouth, Here Comes Victory
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

A.J., Call Your Mother.
Bad news, unapproved commenters: this is the last post of the night from us. DUAN is how you say it?...

Nick Kroll On "The League," Fantasy Football, And How Chris "Mad Dog" Russo Is His Personal Cobain
FX's The League is TV's latest attempt to tickle the potbelly of the coveted "18-to-whatever male" demographic. The show centers on the friendships, relationships, and fantasy football league of a group of thirtysomething guys. Sound familiar?...

Notre Dame To Announce Rehab Stint, Impending Pregnancy To TMZ
White smoke in South Bend!...

Robert Johnson Called — He Wants His SEC Championship Back
Alabama 32, Florida 13. [Pic via Rick Ankiel's Moustache]...

"SI" Writer Jon Wertheim Would Like You To Watch Roger Federer's Giggle Fit
Sports Illustrated senior writer Jon Wertheim, author of Strokes of Genius: Federer, Nadal, and the Greatest Match Ever Played, was kind enough to let me bother him. Here, he considers Tiger Woods and challenges Will Leitch to a bet:...

As It Turns Out, NBA Players Haven't Completely Tuned Out David Stern
David Stern insists with robotic regularity that his ballers are the "best athletes in the world". (Sometimes, when he's feeling particularly saucy, he goes with "most extraordinarily gifted".)...

Urban Meyer Aborts His Defensive Line: Your SEC Championship Preview / Open Thread
So last weekend I went with @girlfriend to the teensie tiny town of Wetumpka, Alabama, which meant I had the chance to see the Iron Bowl in its natural habitat....

Just Be Thankful It's Not Cablevision
Dan Shanoff fantasizes about a world in which Comcast-NBC is an "online sports juggernaut" and Bill Simmons, Darren Rovell, and Tommy Craggs do trust falls at the company picnic. [Dan Shanoff / Pic via]...

Deadspin Films Presents: "High And Outside: The Dock Ellis Story"
Sporting apparel/culture site No Mas recently released the animated story of Dock Ellis, who threw a no-hitter on acid—fucking ACID—and died last December. Time for his biopic, yeah? Let's cast and storyboard this thing. To Hollywood we go!...

SEC Championship Game To Proceed Without Distractions
Thousands of hours of airtime. Millions of keystrokes. Finally, we can stop obsessing over the Most Important College Football Issue of Our Time: Notre Dame will not sully the airwaves this bowl season....

Winter Of Discontent: Learning To Love The Vancouver Games
Did you know that the Jordan Palmer of amateur sports, the Winter Olympics, happens this February? It's OK — red-blooded sports fans can't possibly be expected to transition from the rough and tumble to Vancouver's prissy wonderland. Or can they?...

Your College Football Watching Open Thread
Judging by the early score of the Pitt-Cincinnati game, the horse head left outside Skyline Chili HQ is having its expected result....

It Would've Been Better If He Said It While Wearing An Elephant Head
Nothing better to do this morning, Lane Kiffin? Actually, telling the (already drunk) SEC Gameday crowd that 'Bama would bounce the Gators is pretty cool. And mentioning that Sabes is penalized less than Urbs? Suddenly my Corso's all swollen-and-tingling. [Fanhouse]...

Andy Murray Plays Video Games, Kim Sears Falls Asleep Unfulfilled
No. 4-ranked tennis player Andy Murray was unceremoniously dumped this weekend by ladyfriend Kim Sears. Apparently his "seven hours a day" video game habit was a factor behind the split. We've obtained an EXCLUSIVE TRANSCRIPT of the pair's final conversation:...

Nets Set The Tone For A Day Of Celebrating The Smallest Victories
Just in time for a tilt with their sorta-not-as-hapless cross-river rivals, the New Jersey Nets snapped their season-opening 18-game losing streak with a 97-91 victory over the Charlotte Bobcats. The expectations for a 64-18 record just went through the roof!...