g Page 5147 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Man Will Not Defecate For Less Than Your Annual Salary
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

FIU To Boycott Cancer Benefit Unless They Don't Have To Play Mean Old UNC
I believe Oddjack would have set the odds of Isiah Thomas causing controversy at Florida International at 0.5 games into his college coaching career. If you took the under, you are a winner....

Bad Golf-As-Sex Metaphors Will Get You Fired
Which do you think this government official really got fired for: showing his peen to a golf course employee, or coming up with a truly awful one-liner?...

How Douche Was My Alma Mater?
With their liberal use of dirty girls and shirtless gods, GQ certainly knows how to bring in the eyeballs, but they have outdone themselves again with their latest listicle: "America's 25 Douchiest Colleges." No, you suck more!...

Little League Pitcher Would Really Like To Plunk This Next Batter
Anyone turned off by the hype placed on the kids at the Little League World Series might find some solace in this live microphone catching a young hurler asking for permission to hit a batter. Yay, for all-access!...

At Last, A Carl Monday Video That Will Never Be Rubbed Out
For too long, the video of wanking correspondent Carl Monday's investigation into the activities of Mike Cooper's right hand has been subject to the whims of copyright enforcement. No longer. Here it is, brand spanking new, archived for all eternity....

Cohort Of Talented Mr. Roto Allegedly Fornicates At Ben Hill Griffin Stadium
"I mean this literally. I snuck in to the stadium, with a girl, and fucked her on the goal line of the south end zone. Right below the goal posts, underneath the national championship signs." WWTTD? [IHopeTheyServeBeerInHell]...

What Mysterious (And Heroic) Injury Is Tim Tebow Hiding?
Tebow missed practice! TEBOW MISSED PRACTICE! Something about a stiff back, which shouldn't be a problem for a running quarterback with weak mechanics. But it doesn't matter because he's a walking M.A.S.H. unit that you cannot keep off the field....

Why Your Team Sucks: Detroit Lions
Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Upon Further Review, Tim Donaghy Back In Jail
The disgraced NBA referee was living in a half-way house while awaiting release on his conspiracy conviction, but has been ordered back to prison because of a unspecified parole violation. The whole thing sounds fixed to me. [AP]...

And Now A Look At The Actual Brett Favre Goat Tied Up In The Lady's Trunk
Finally, you can put your photoshopping skills to rest — the comically cruel Brett Favre goat video has been released to the local news. Yes, the goat, although tied down, is still alive in these photos. [WCCO]...

The Rockies Are A Team Of Destiny ... Again
Two years ago, Colorado's miracle finish lifted a scrappy upstart team to the World Series. Then suddenly they were were terrible again. Now they're on the verge of another miracle comeback. How do they do it (every other year)?...

What Soccer Needs Is More Kicks To The Face
Bolivian soccer has it figured out. When an opposing player elbows you during a fight for the ball, don't take a wailing, overdramatic dive. Just wait until halftime and then give him a flying boot to the head....

The Ongoing Madness Of Shawn Andrews
Last summer, I did a story about Eagles offensive lineman Shawn Andrews and his self-diagnosed depression issues, but after a recent odd locker room outburst in front of reporters, I'm a little more convinced he's got some major problems....

Goats Are The New Mutton
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Why Your Team Sucks: New York Giants
Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Narcing On Michael Vick And His Fruity Alcoholic Beverage
Vick was recently spotted sipping a fruity and legal adult beverage, a non-story in any league that isn't run by a guy who thinks he's Father Flanagan in Boys Town, which is to say, any league but Roger Goodell's NFL....

Peter King Shows Off HIs Under Armour, Unwavering Red Sox Fanaticism
SI's lovable NFL columnist took some time away from pre-season coverage and colonoscopies to take in the Friday night beat down of the Boston Red Sox at Fenway. [Bar Stool Sports]...

Delaware Loses Gambling Lawsuit, Also Fails To Cover
A Federal Appeals court sided with major sports leagues and struck down Delaware's plan to offer sports betting this fall. The integrity of sports is saved! Isn't that wonderful?...

Everything Is Not Super Cool For Michael Beasley
It seems the tattoo and dime bag photo of Michael Beasley was just the tip of his breakdown-filled weekend that started with some depressing Twitter messages and ended with him in rehab....