g Page 5192 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Congratulations, Cristiano Ronaldo Is Nailing Your Sister
Chelsea had a bit of a rough go of it this year, especially after losing a heartbreaker to Barcelona in the Champions League, but their Italian-Brazilian midfielder Juliano Belletti can take solace in the fact that his sister has found comfort in the arms of Man U coxswain Cristiano Ronaldo....

The New York Times Somehow Finds A Silly Reason To Loathe Yankee Stadium
Leave it to the Times — the publisher's kid, no less — to come up with one of the dumber reasons to hate the infinitely hateable Yankee Stadium: The kiddies can't get autographs anymore!...

Joe Posnanski: “I Am The Worst Thing To Come Out Of Cleveland Since Arsenio Hall”
You Cleveland fans are hurt. Angry. Confused. Annoyed. You need someone to blame for your loss. Well, will a coerced apology from Joe Posnanski do? I think it will....

Beware Jogging And Tweeting At The Same Time
Perhaps China is right to ban Twitter, not because of censorship, but because the 140-character-microblogathingy-service is dangerous. Just ask James Coleman, a well-to-do 23-year-old, the latest victim in Twitter's quest to establish its world peril. And look how innocent: A penchant for exercise w...

High School Hurlers Care Not For Your Pitch Counts
Minnesota prep player Lars Anderson threw a complete game in the high school playoffs this weekend, coming up very clutch when his team needed it most. It's even more impressive when you learn that it was 13-inning complete game and Anderson threw 201 pitches. The losing pitcher? He threw 204....

David Ortiz Is Still Worth More Than General Motors
David Ortiz's putrid 2009 numbers — .185, 1 HR, 18 RBI, 48 strikeouts — don't qualify for a government bailout, as his statistics translate to an approximate worth on the free agent market of negative $5.2 million. At least he's more valuable than Delmon Young. [Fangraphs, via Simon on Sports]...

Not Even Tasers Can Stop The Gators
Florida's starting cornerback Janoris Jenkins had a brainstorm this weekend, powered by a few thousand watts of taser juice courtesy of the local police. As if that could ever slow down a Gator superstar....

FIGJAM Returns, Some People Depart
This is actually good news for those who like golf and story lines ready-made for sports columnists aching to showcase their Nicholas Sparks technique: Phil Mickelson will return to the PGA Tour, including the U.S. Open....

How LeBron Could Have Avoided Handshakegate Without Shaking Hands
Sports columnists must love LeBron James. Not only does he provide fanciful fodder during the regular season and permit them to wax rhapsodic as witnesses during the playoffs, but even when his season is done, he gives them the material they need for their next-day opinions....

Tom Brady Even Heals Better Than A Normal Person
Brady's surgeon on the quarterback's rehab: "With regard to his recovery of strength, I've never seen anything quite like it. With an average person, it would have taken probably twice as long to get range of motion and strength back." Sweet jeebus, who is this guy? Wolverine? [LA Times]...

It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Gatorade
The fancy schmancy Gatorade dispenser that has adorned the home dugout at Wrigley Field this summer is being removed and replaced with a boring old water cooler. Why? Because people can't be trusted to have nice things....

One Man's Fight For A Home Run Ball...In Pictures
We'll call Meech the "Unhappy Youngster" from now on. The photos are pretty incredible, though. [The Fightins]...

Another Prerequisite For Referees: Superhuman Vision
The NCAA is expected to enact a policy Wednesday to cut down on flopping by help-side defenders sliding under the basket. Here's the catch: The semi-circle to enforce the rule won't actually be painted, only imaginary, like the chances of this new rule ever working....

What Is Wrong With Our Fragile Baseball Players?
Khalil Greene has been placed on the disabled list with an unspecified "social anxiety disorder" making him at least the third major leaguer to miss significant time with a similar complaint. That, my friends, is a TREND ALERT! So what the heck is going on here?...

Redick And Morrison, Reunited And It Feels So Good
"Remember when they cried in college? Remember when they played Halo against each other? They were like Magic and Bird in college, except that they weren't in any way." Redick scored seven points in the conference finals. Morrison hasn't played since April 14. Guess that settles SI's cover question!...

ESPN Engages In A Bit Of Time Travel
A tipster sent us this shot of the Chicago skyline from last night's Dodgers-Cubs broadcast on ESPN. Pretty, isn't it? Pretty much a lie, that is. The city hasn't looked like this since 2004, when the Sun-Times building you see at left gave way to Trump's unsightly monument to himself....

Your Profanity-Laced Tirades Will Now Be Taken Under Advisement
So: For those of you concerned, upset, distraught, FURIOUS, over the new commenting policy there's an email box for you to send those fiery missives:[email protected]...

One Theory About Lamar Odom's Consistency Problem
His fondness for candy. Yes. A Dr. Daniel Amen writes in a long essay: "I've been telling my patients for years that sugar acts like a drug in the brain. It causes blood sugar levels to spike and then crash, leaving you feeling tired, irritable, foggy and stupid. [LAT]...
