g Page 5195 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Forget Everything You've Ever Known About Eating Competitions
Introducing the Doughman quadrathalon relay: Crab and bacon mac and cheese; fried green tomato sandwich; bacon cheeseburger with chili; candied bacon, strawberry shortcake, chocolate cupcakes. Plus, biking, running and swimming. Don't forget to wear your helmets, and vomiting is "strictly discourage...
There's No Crying With Amazing Happening
A Denver hooligan went out on a two-block strip to deface some innocent stop signs after the Nuggets lost Game 1 to the Lakers last Tuesday. It is not known whether this hooligan acted alone or whether he was part of a larger hooligan conspiracy. He is still at large....
...And Your NBA Open Thread
Andrew Bynum isn't happy with his playing time, but he's only going to talk with Phil Jackson about his "feelings" if he's approached. Let's give Bynum a break — he's still young, right? Lakers, Nuggets, 8:30 p.m. in Denver. [LA Times]...
OK, Here's Your NHL Open Thread...
Apparently, the RBC Center might be the loudest hockey arena in the country (err, North America). We'll see if it affects Sid the Kid and the Penguins tonight at 7:30 p.m. in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference finals. Now go talk about it. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...
Monday's Lax Final Set, No One Outside Upstate New York Notices
Syracuse slams Duke in the Greg Paulus Bowl, Cornell shocks — shocks! — No. 1 Virginia in the nightcap. There really is nothing going on today. Softball on ESPN, lacrosse on ESPN2, Bernie Williams playing jazz on YES. Plus, Daulerio's making a packing list and checking it twice. [ESPN]...
A Carnivore's Guide To Yankee Stadium
The new Yankee Stadium may be a colossal disaster — Peter Gammons is the ballpark's latest critic — but the food is positively delectable. How one fan copped a $325 Legends Suite ticket and swindled the Yankees of $127 in concessions. The Yankees were just happy someone was there. [Time]...
Wanted: Poise, Splits, Knowledge Of Middle East Geography
To be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, you need exquisite dance technique, plenty of enthusiasm and poise, a vibrant personality and the ability to do high kicks and splits. Also, you should "look well-proportioned in dancewear." And you have to identify a country on Iraq's borders....
Where Does PETA Get Off Humiliating Michael Vick?
DeAngelo Hall on Vick: "I mean, he's definitely been humiliated. I think he should have [gotten] suspended, then he should have had to pay a big fine. That's what PETA wants anyway, is money, so he should have had to pay them money." [D.C. Sports Bog]...
"Wouldn't It Be Amazing If LeBron Saved Our Season?"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Patriots Team Up With State Lotto; NFL Conveniently Forgets That It Pretends To Hate Gambling
Remember the NFL's feigned outrage over sports gambling in Delaware? All that sanctimonious stuff about tarnishing the game's image and leading children to degenerate lives of laying the points with the Pats on the road? Well, apparently none of that applies to state-run lotteries....
Little Girl Lost In A Cup Of Beer At The Lakers Game
We're winding down...so prepare for more crap like this at the end of the day. [SteadyBurn]...
All Big East Baseball Games Now Decided By Dance Off
Connecticut and South Florida squared off in a classic Big East baseball tilt—or they tried to before a five-hour rain delay. So how do you kill time during the one thing more boring than Big East baseball? Simple: Worst community theater production of "West Side Story" ever....
Inside Edition Shocked To Find Drunk People At Baseball Game
In Milwaukee, of all places! "Fights break out inside the stadium, foul language can be heard in the stands, and there are obscene gestures everywhere," reports America's Newsmagazine. [Inside Edition]...
Brett Favre Victimized By Improv Comedy Group
New York Giants lineman David Diehl makes his comedy club debut by mocking Brett Favre—and doing a pretty good job of it, actually. It was such a spot on impersonation that he even told his jokes to the wrong audience. Video below....
Cricket Player Sidelined Due To Violent Case Of The G-dubs
"The medical board has reported that Shoaib Akhtar was suffering from genital viral warts and the wound needs further care and treatment for another 10 days," the PCB said in a statement."[GuardianUK]...
Obama's Two Favorite Things Are The Steelers, Making Children Cry
A group of kindergarteners had their hearts broken yesterday when they showed up for a White House tour and were told they couldn't come in because staff had to prepare for the President's visit with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Also, because the tears of the innocent give Barack Obama sustenance....
Jake Peavy Says "Thanks But No Thanks" To White Sox
Jake Peavy loves batting so much that he can't bear to leave the National League, so he decided to reject the trade that would have sent him to the Chicago White Sox. Also, he knows how to read a box score. [MLB]...
Yuk It Up, Stoners. The Olympics Torch Looks Like A Doob.
At left is the official torch of the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, and, yes, I realize it looks like someone rolled up half of Humboldt County in the world's biggest Zig Zag....
Jeter On The Lam After Bank Robbery, Support Of PatriotsBlue Jays
Chad Floyd Jeter is wanted by police after allegedly robbing a bank in Alabama, while wearing a New England PatriotsBlue Jays cap misidentified by Alabama police as a Patriots hat. (Who did you think I was talking about?) He is considered armed and dangerously clutch. [Wicked Good Sports]...
And You Thought Winning The Spelling Bee Was A Longshot
"Over the years words like "Ilanders" (Islanders), "Leaes" (Leafs) and "Bqstqn" (Boston) have found their way onto the Stanley Cup, while more than a dozen players and coaches have had their names butchered." That's Sidney with an I, Louise St. Jacques! Someone with a silent S should know better. [W...