g Page 5196 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yankee Stadium Threatening To Get 100 Percent More Insufferable
Great news! The most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in college football wants to join forces with the most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in baseball. Yes, folks: Notre Dame wants to play football in shiny new Yankee Stadium....
Fake Ben Roethlisberger Has Internet Cancer
Terrible news, everybody. The cyber weirdo who is trolling the internet pretending to be Ben Roethlisberger has imaginary cancer. There's a PayPal link below where you can help send him an virtual bouquet of AOL sign-up CDs....
Beware The Flying Sausage Casings At Nat's Games
The Nationals are having a helluva year. Misspelled uniforms. Misspelled bats. They suck. Now sausage-shooting meltdowns: "They were very clearly exploding as they were shot out, and we could easily see the bun and foil that were laying on the warning track." [WaPo]...
Ricky Rubio Is Already Getting The Hang Of The American Game
The ping-pong balls have barely settled, and already Ricky Rubio, the mopheaded Spaniard who reminds everyone of Pistol Pete if Pistol Pete had discovered the defensive crouch, is strongarming teams in the NBA draft....
March Of The Cohn Heads
My ex-girlfriend, Linda Cohn, has started a new personal blog for her fans. There are lots of photos, words, etc.. And Cohn Heads. Plenty of Cohn Heads. [Linda Cohn Fan Club]...
Sex With A Professional Bull Rider: Not Eight Seconds
For those of you who've wondered what sex with a professional bull rider sounds like, here is your answer: "It sounds like fish slapping on pavement."...
Who Won The WWE-Denver Nuggets Cage Match?
World Wrestling Entertainment is moving next's Monday's "RAW" session from Denver's Pepsi Center to L.A.'s Staples Center, because of the conflict with Game 4 of the NBA Finals. But which petulant business owner really comes out as the victor here?...
White Sox Fans...Meet Your New Starting Pitcher
Pending approval, Padres' ace Jake Peavy will reportedly go to the White Sox for some little people aka "prospects." [SI.com]...
That Wasn't Supposed To Happen Was It?
The Cavaliers had been sitting for eight days after sweeping the first two rounds, but that didn't seem to matter when they rolled out to a 15-point lead in the first half. Then the second half happened, and somehow when the final buzzer sounded LeBron and company were not ahead on the scoreboard. W...
This Is What Happens When You Annnounce A Woman's Age On Camera
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Mark Buehrle's Truck Will Cause Ice Caps To Melt
One alert emailer sent along this photo of the White Sox hurler gassing up his famously scary truck constructed by demonic gorilla robots from some dusty holocaust netherworld....
Wife Of Pitcher Scott Schoeneweis Found Dead
Gabrielle Dawn Schoeneweis, the wife of Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Scott Schoeneweis, was found unconscious in the family's home today and sheriff's deputies were unable to revive her when they arrived. No cause of death has been determined yet. She was 39. Terrible news. [Arizona Republic]...
Rudy Giuliani's Son Loses The Case Of "Duke vs. Spackler"
Andrew Giuliani used to play golf at Duke University until the coach that recruited him died, and the new coach realized that he was a terrible golfer. Andy sued after being booted from the team and the judge made him look stupid by quoting Caddyshack as he dismissed the case....
The Sordid Life Of Clippers Owner Donald Sterling
Just in time for the lottery, ESPN The Magazine has a look-see at the walking abomination known as Donald Sterling, Clippers owner and a man of discerning taste. Dislikes: blacks, Mexicans, children. Likes: Koreans, blowjobs....
Some Chick To Teach Other Broads About Man Things
The L.A. Dodgers will air a series of radio broadcasts aimed at women, particularly those who don't know much about baseball. Jeanne Zelasko will do play-by-play and talk real slow so that these dames can get the infield fly rule through their thick skulls....
Of Ron Zook, Twitter And Big Swinging Dicks
Ron Zook had a busy Wednesday afternoon. First, he went to the Chicago Mercantile exchange. Then, he channeled his inner Faulkner and finally, he tweeted about the entire experience....
Vince Young Do What Vince Young Do
Young, as you remember, is close to getting permanently doghoused by Jeff Fisher (if it hasn't happened already) and has worried teammates, family members, and NFL execs with his wacky manic-depressive behavior and disenchantment with football. (CUT TO Whitlock: Toldja!)...
Is The D-Train Back On Track?
Dontrelle Willis won a game yesterday. And his pitching was more than adequate! So has he finally got over his case of the Greinkes or is this just a momentary blip on the mine cart ride to oblivion?...
In Praise Of Dr. Z
In an otherwise touching account of Monday's benefit for the stricken Dr. Z, Peter King shares this depressing detail: "It's been almost six months since he's spoken, and he can't write, and he can't read."...
Black Eyes, Skinned Knees, And A Pitiful Excuse For A Man
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....