g Page 5238 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jamar Smith And His Alcohol-Monitoring Bracelet Find Redemption
Illinois-Purdue's just started. If you're like me - self-lacerating Illinoisan who masochistically dwells on the crap hands fate and Bruce Pearl have dealt us - you're wondering about Jamar Smith. Wonder no more....

It's March Madness For Mascots, Too
"[W]ith 7 seconds left and New Mexico State leading 70-69, Utah State's mascot, 'Big Blue' the bull, confronted New Mexico State's 'Pistol Pete' cowboy mascot and ripped off his fake mustache." [ESPN.com...

The Entrepreneurs, At Least, Didn't Need Overtime
We've enjoyed Syracuse's little run as much as anyone - well, maybe more than Jay Bilas, who seems more in need of a bj than usual - but then along came capitalism to make it faintly annoying....

When Lost In The Georgia Dome, Consult Your Nearest Cheerleader
Tyler Hansbrough went from victory to fail within seconds this afternoon, as he avoided being called for a critical foul in a last-second win over Virginia Tech, but then got lost leaving the court....

Marko Jaric's Marriage Might Be Saved
No charges will be filed against him in the sexual assault case due to lack of "prosocutorial merit", whatever that means. [NBCPhiladelphia]...

Streaker Fail: This Should About End This Activity, One Hopes
Not only was this streaker at an English association soccer match in Manchester subdued by a female security guard, but he was also mocked by the crowd for "severe shrinkage." Ouch. [Bury Times]...

Alexander Ovechkin Should Lay Off The Dairy Products
• If not for himself, but for the reporters who cover him: "Then, looking down at the game's score sheet, he let three loud farts rip in less than a minute..." [The 700 Level]...

Curse Of The Colonel Update: Now PETA's Involved
Of course they are. The animal rights organization has sent an impassioned letter to the Chicago Cubs, advising them not to accept a Japanese baseball team's offer of a curse-breaking Kentucky Fried Chicken statue....

A Ladies' Primer On Bitter, Drunken March Madness Regret
It's Waxing Off, the feature that guarantees delivery in less than 30 minutes, or it's free. Today's topic: The NCAA Basketball Pool and the Brackets of Doom....

Introducing The Deadspin Comment Of The Week (Now With 100% More Prizes!)
Here in Deadspin Amalgamated Industries Co. Ltd's Chicago bureau, we've been working day-and-night to find a way to properly reward our occasionally-witty commenters for their hard work. We think we've got something....

Nathan Moore Would Like To Know, Is That A Titleist?
It's hard to believe that the man pictured here is accused of attacking a young child with a golf club while out on the course. He looks so calm and centered....

Rick Reilly Or Rick Rielly?
Just a couple days after the Twitter police silenced the "Rick Rielly" we'd all come to know and love, the real Rick Reilly writes a column that's absurdly Rielly-esque....

Are Dodgers Preparing To Get Their Pedro On?
Impressed with his play for the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic, the Dodgers may be contemplating signing Pedro Martinez. Their final roster should be complete by May. [NBC Sports]...

It's Very Chilly With A 60% Chance Of Bosh
• We miss you, Mr. Bowden: Nationals' blogger is already longing for the days when Jim Bowden made life interesting. [The Nationals Enquirer]...

Jonathan Papelbon Won't Shy Away From His Feelings About Manny Ramirez
Once word of the Esquire interview leaked, Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon knew he'd have to elaborate on some of his comments about his ex-teammate....

After Six Overtimes, Syracuse Sleeps The Sleep Of The Just
At some point during the sixth overtime of the Syracuse-UConn game, my cable box interrupted to inform me that without further action from me it would be going into sleep mode....

No Shoes. No Shirt. No Pants. No Problem.
The story about why golfer Henrik Stenson played the WCA-CA Championship in his underwear. [BBC Sports]...

We'd Make Fun Of This Gentleman More, But I'm Sure He's Not The Only One Who Wet Himself At MSG Last Night
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Albert Haynesworth Almost Killed A Guy?
New Redskins tackle Albert Haynesworth has been in the news a lot lately, but the stories all seem to focus on his $100 million contract and not the car accident that left someone in a wheelchair....