g Page 5247 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Real Joba Chamberlain Does Almost Better With Ladies Than Fake Joba Chamberlain
He'll see your Asbury Park skanks and raise you a Rock Star energy model. [3:10 To Joba via Busted Coverage]...

Chris Bosh, Shaq on Brink Of Twitter Armageddon
Shaq lights up the Raptors for 45 points and 11 boards last night and is thoroughly convinced that he could be that productive every night if gets "touches like that." Chris Bosh has another theory....

The Audacity Of Gulp: President Obama Enjoys A Frosty Beverage At Wizards Game
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Farewell, Brian Dawkins?
This is a sad day for Philadelphia Eagles fans. Brian Dawkins, long-time safety and recent perfecter of legalized helmet-to-helmet knockout hits, is heading to Bronco country next season, according to one report....

Boston Is Now Officially Marbury Country
"The Celtics became intrigued with Marbury in the preseason when he averaged 8.5 points and 3.1 assists and went to the free throw line regularly in seven games." [Boston Globe]...

Oh, This Seems Completely Fair
Boras' latest proposal for Manny to the Dodgers: 2 years, $45 million. [SI.com]...

The Barking Dog Play Is Idiotic, Effective
The Barking Dog Play has been around since at least the 1970s; I've often heard it described by various coaches at basketball clinics. But until this video, I had forgotten about it....

Who's Up For Condom Shopping With Anna Kournikova?
No, no — it's not what you think. She's training to be a Haitian drug mule....

Intolerable Cruelty: Our Women Ruminate On The Art Of The Prank
It's time for Waxing Off, the Deadspin feature that will go topless if you throw it beads. This Friday's topic: Sports pranks....

Maurice Clarett Seeks Salvation, Bandwidth
Maurice Clarett: Prison blogger? Yep, the former running back who is serving time for robbery and other charges has been blogging from prison since Oct. of 2008, according to his archives....

Kellen Winslow Takes His Soldier Posturing, Infected Balls To Tampa
The Browns oft-injured, vocal former number one pick, takes hisl tight end stylings to the land of pirate ships and eye patches. The Bucs give up draft picks for his services. [National Football Post]...

You And I Will Soon Be Subsidizing The Pistons
So Bank of America received $25 billion in federal bailout money, and will now loan $175 million to the NBA to help struggling franchises. Seattle SuperSonics: "A little late!" [The Huffington Post]...

Wait, Tim Lincecum Is Making How Much?
Tim Lincecum, last season's Cy Young Award winner, just signed a contract with the Giants for one year at $650,000. Barry Zito chortles, wipes dog poop off shoe with $100 bill....

Here Are Your Juicy Details From The Kendra Wilkinson Media Blitz
The lovely Kendra Wilkinson has been more ubiquitous than ever this week, showing up on multiple radio shows and a People Magazine interview. Highlight: WFAN asked her who was better in bed; Hef, or Hank Baskett?...

Albert Haynesworth Becomes Highest Paid Face-Stomper In History
The Redskins, still spending like it's 2002, have inked the Titans' menacing defensive tackle to a 7-year, $100 million deal. [Redskins Insider]...

The Glory That Was Operation Scheyerface
Yes, Duke beat Maryland in a key ACC men's basketball matchup on Wednesday, but sometimes the most important victories are not won on the court, but in the stands. Behold: Operation Scheyerface, v2.0....

Dreamboat Captain Takes The Reins, Marries Gisele
Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are officially a couple in the eyes of God. According to US Magazine,Brady and Bundchen wed last night in front of family, friends, and a furious Bridget Moynahan....

Derek Jeter's Made Himself A New Friend
• ...And she's 22: She's a senior at FIT, plays his voicemail messages to her friends, and asks him suggestions on how to get a "tighter butt." Total marriage material. [Sports Crackle Pop]...

Come Mock The Annoying Guy In The Bird Suit On Monday
The Nationals will unveil a "new look" for their mascot, Screech, at the ESPN Zone in Washington DC on Monday. Any Deadspin reader who attends with a camera will attain hero status. [MASN]...

Chad Gaudin Is The Amish Rifle
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....