g Page 5289 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Year In ... The Olympics
So, the next few days will be chock full of end-of-year retrospectives. We'll do our own as well. Today: The Beijing Olympics....

Jason Garrett Realizes It Might Actually Be Colder In The Big D
Jason Garrett was considered the ginger-haired offensive genius, primed and ready for any and all head coaching positions — especially the one in Dallas....

If You Can, Everyone Please Go See Your Grandmothers, Right Now
I went home for Christmas, and I dropped by and saw my grandmother. She's a very nice lady....

The Yankees Will Save Baseball, Heal the Sick
Just because the Yankees are outspending the rest of baseball by a 2-1 margin is no reason to criticize them, says Yankees’ president Randy Levine. In fact, you should be thanking them for making your pitiful team watchable!...

SHOTY Final Four: Isiah Thomas Vs. Baby Mangino
The second Final Four matchup is here; there is no third-place game, because third place games are for losers....

Let Me Tell You Something About Birmingham, Alabama
Apparently, some readers took issue with my recent characterization of Birmingham, Alabama, as a decrepit backwater devoid of all culture and sophistication. Wait, did I not say that? Because I should have....

The Year In...Sexual Trysts
So, the next few days will be chock full of end-of-year retrospectives. We'll do our own as well. Today: Road beef, etc....

A Technical Foul ... Of Love
• Maybe not: What's a Scott Pioli and why does everyone want to hire him? Oh, right—because Patriots employees always do so well once they stop working for Bill Belichick. [Midwest Sports Fans]...

Get Fired Up, Mets Fans
Andruw Jones could be coming to underwhelm and frustrate you in 2009. [ESPN]...

The Agony (And Ecstasy) Of Wide Right
I hate family shots. These people don't deserve to be on TV and their painful miming and hysterical tears contribute absolutely nothing to any telecast....

Waxing Off Writer Scrooged By New England SportsNet
So it seems that one of our Waxing Off writers got into hot water with Comcast New England over something she wrote for us. You fired Cameron! You bastards!...

Crimson Tide Suspends Top Tackle
Alabama's All-World tackle Andre Smith has been suspended and will not play in the Sugar Bowl. Ironically, he plans to work out his frustrations by eating an entire bowl of sugar. [Tide Corner]...

The New York Jets Would Like To Hear More About This Slapping Idea
• Awwwwkward: It's really not helping your team when you earn a red card for slapping another player. Especially when the slapee is your own captain. [Unprofessional Foul]...

The Year In ... Parents Gone Wild
So, the next few days will be chock full of end-of-year retrospectives. We'll do our own as well. Today: Parents gone wild....

The Worst Bowl Game In The World
As you're reading this, North Carolina State and Rutgers are playing at what has to be the absolute lowest level of collegiate football— a website-sponsored bowl game in Birmingham, Alabama, on a Monday afternoon....

What do you think Natalie Gulbis' Twitter would read like?
"Monica Seles arrives to the boat! yeah! everyone is here now i will send pictures tomorrow!" Exactly. [Natalie Gulbis Twitter]...

A Long Winter In Bloomington
Indiana blows a 21-point lead at home, loses to the 5-6 Lipscomb Bisons. That sentence doesn't make me as gleeful as it probably should. [AP/Yahoo]...

The Year In...Dushdom
So, the next few days will be chock full of end-of-year retrospectives. We'll do our own as well. Today: Dushbag central....

SHOTY Final Four: Buzz Bissinger Vs. Erin Andrews
Welcome back, everybody. Some of you worked last Friday, some of you still aren't back at work today. But whatever, it's SHOTY time, time to wake up, people....

Singletary Gets The Job, A 69-Yard Field Goal Try, And What's The Deal With Brady's Knee?
Notes from the final week of the NFL regular season, this week with no Brett Favre ......