g Page 5409 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Vince Young Talks About His Rebound From NFL Joylessness
Well, Vince Young is having himself an active offseason so far. First, he had to explain himself and apologize for that shirtless night out with his Texas cronies and, now, he's admitting that the pressures of the NFL almost drove him to retire after his first season....
Media Approval Ratings: Marv Albert
Whatever your thoughts on Marv Albert, it's rather impossible to deny that he is resilient. Honestly, it was only 11 years ago when those whole biting charges came around. We really thought he was done. Toast. Over. We mean, look at the Wikipedia wrapup....
Heavyweight Champ Out To Terrify Erudite British Comedians
The man pictured here is Wladimir Klitschko. It is telling that you might know who he is; he's the IBF, WBO and IBO world heavyweight champion, which isn't nearly as cool as it was 15 years ago. But still: The job of the heavyweight champion of the world is to be the "scariest man on earth," and mak...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
What Not To Do With A Championship Trophy
Yep, the Chiefs won their Canadian Hockey League title and then promptly dropped and broke the trophy. They were booed for it, but man, if this ever happens to the Stanley Cup, fans will tear the place apart. (Lil Jon will be first in line.) We've always wondered when something like this would happe...
The Stanley Cup Finals Mule Variations
The NHL Closer is written by five octopi from Melt Your Face Off. When Al Sobotka isn't twirling us over his head, we're served with pickled ginger, green onion and mayonnaise in takoyaki. Raskolnikov emptied his ink sacs to write a recap of last night's action....
About Last Night
What you missed during your annual headlong pursuit of rolling cheese ... • NBA: Pistons roll the McDyess, even series with Celtics 2-all. • NHL: The Osgood File ... Red Wings trample Flightless Sea Fowl, 3-0. • MLB: Walk-off walk ends 12-inning scoreless duel to win it for Angels; a result which, s...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while remodeling Bubble Man's dorm room... • 5 p.m. — NASCAR: Coca-Cola 600, Concord, North Carolina. In a blind race test, what's more exciting: this race or the Pepsi 400? [FOX] • 7 p.m. — NCAA softball: Georgia at UCLA. There's no crying in softball, but there's no by-laws applicabl...
You'll Want to Watch Ronny Turiaf For 12 Minutes Straight
TNT is rhetorically asking who you [points menacingly] want to have their own dedicated camera on for the first quarter. Natch, Kobe Bryant is running away with the vote, but the Turiaf movement is underway. Sadly, it's not going so well:...
Soccer Girlfriends Are Easy
• Cristiano Ronaldo's new girlfriend does all the positions, and all you have to do is take her to parties and give her money. [Unprofessional Foul] • Mike Piazza and Jeff Garcia are twins. And yet they look nothing alike. [The Big Lead] • When skilled 12-year-old girl basketball players make the bo...
When The Simpsons Were Edgy, But Not Funny
There've been a lot of Simpsons games throughout the years, few of them any good. The one that stands the test of time was probably the original arcade game. I recommend it today as you watch the Indy 500. So I know what you're asking. "Where am I going to find the original arcade machine?" That rea...
Careful, It's Slippery
This angle, for which I am ever thankful the morning after, is not the greatest; CBC's camera had a better view, combined with two men sitting on the ice a couple feet away wearing Red Wings apparel, laughing their octopi-molesting asses off. At first I thought those two seedy Michiganders had somet...
About Last Night...
What you missed re-creating the chase scene from Space Mutiny... • NBA: Yeah, well, Boston still hasn't won two road games yet. • NHL: Son of Samuel goes on massive scoring spree, dozens wounded, Red Wings at large with 4-0 win. • MLB: Cubs won the first eight innings. Problem is, the dang thing wen...
Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while shopping around for once-in-a-lifetime deals on infants... • 7:30 p.m. — NASCAR: Nationwide Series, Conquest Auto Parts 300, Concord, N.C. Watch your favorite drivers in different numbered cars wail on lesser drivers! [ESPN2] • 8:00 p.m. — NCAA softball: Georgia at UCLA. The fact...
Sonics Ownership Seems To Be Unable To Delete Old E-Mails
Any mail client has it. Trash can. Deleted items. They all call it something different, but my God, it's right there. A half-terrabyte of data doesn't mean you save every freakin' Twitter message that comes your way. The Seattle Supersonics management might have gotten away with merely being hated i...
For The Spurs, It's All About Moral Victories
• How Tim Duncan successfully returns a pair of pants. [Food Court Lunch] • I wasn't expecting a sports joke here. [McSweeney's] • Mitch Williams: "Yo." [The 700 Level] • Nothing beats old timey baseball. [Walkoff Walk] • Sure, Mike Piazza can hit, but he can't slide. [Fire Joe Morgan] • Don't say y...
Gary Carter Wonders If He Should Let The Mets Know He Wants To Manage Them
Willie Randolph could very well be Art Howe-ing his way out of a job in New York, but what's kind of important is the fact that he still has employment with the Mets. That hasn't stopped Gary Carter, who's currently managing an independent minor league team in California, to start inquiring about wh...
Wait, They Traded Blue Moon Odom?
It's not very gratifying to be traded for an inanimate object. Unless my ex-girlfriend breaking up with me so she could spend more time with her vibrator counts, I have no idea what it must feel like to be traded for 10 baseball bats....