g Page 5601 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When Funerals And Minor League Baseball Collide
This is the kind of story that only seems possible revolving around a minor league baseball team in Tennessee. Observe the lede from this story in the Elizabethton Star:...
If Nenad Krstic Wasn't Such A Sex Object, This Wouldn't Be Happening
The man just puts people in the mood for porno. And soon, Nets fans won't have to go far to satisfy their jones....
Way Less Charming Than Harold And Maude
There's a lot of track and field on TV today, but it's the boring kind. It's the kind where the female athletes are older than 16, and they aren't married to their 40-year-old track coaches. But don't worry, we've got that covered, too....
About Last Night...
• MLB. Yankees 7, Giants 3. Barry Bonds' homerun chase continues to distract people from the fact that the Giants suck. • WNBA: San Antonio Stars 70, New York Liberty 63. That'll teach you to trade Becky Hammon, New York Liberty. • MLB. Red Sox 2, Padres 1. Matsuzaka out ueled Greg Maddux, but the b...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you rake the living room ... • NHL: NHL draft, day 1, at Columbus, Ohio. We're in front of the TV until Monday. [Versus] • Motor sports: NASCAR Nextel Cup, Toyota/Save Mart 350, practice and pole qualifying, at Sonoma, Calif. We can never find a good parking place at these things. [...
Floating Through Space With Joe Morgan
We're not sure what the rights rules are for Major League Baseball audio and video broadcasts in outer space are, but if Bud Selig hasn't figured out a way to maximize revenue on the moon, he will. Even astronauts are listening to games now. Meet Michael Lopez-Alegria....
Which Athlete Will Be The Next Gay Blog Obsession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Humanity Prepares For The Terrible Reign Of Mr. And Mrs. Bubbles
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
Griffey Returns To Seattle
• Welcome back, Junior. [The Reds Rocket] • Somebody tape up Joe Mauer. [10,000 Takes] • Some praise for Vince Young. [The Sports Oasis] • Erin Andrews, traffic machine. [The Wizard Of Odds] • Keith Law's ESPN chat yesterday was incredibly entertaining. [Good Guy At Sports] • The NCAA is TAKING NO P...
The Perfect Man To Play The Yankee Clipper
The upcoming ESPN TV miniseries The Bronx Is Burning has potential, we think. The book it's based on is outstanding, it features Oliver Platt as George Steinbrenner and John Turturro as Billy Martin and it's directed by the guy who made Benny & Joon. (OK, that last one, maybe not so much.)...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Raphael: No kicking, no gouging. And none of this! (bonk!). • 2 p.m. NASCAR with David Newton: Pit crew made up entirely of monkeys. Innovative, or just wrong? • 3 p.m. ESPN host Stuart Scott: My wife does not ap...
Cow Tipping In Madison Is Absolutely Unacceptable
Sometimes, considering our own background, we have a hard time understanding some of these newfangled athlete malfeasances. This "Making It Rain" ... that didn't come up much in Mattoon (though the crops sure could have used it!)...
Another Reason To Have Him On Your Fantasy Team
The man here is Patriots running back Lawrence Maroney, and Kissing Suzy Kolber has discovered that his Facebook page is not to be underestimated....
Dave Trembley Already Making Friends
We don't want to say that Baltimore interim manager Dave Trembley should perhaps rent, not buy, but ... well, it's probably a bad sign when you've had to make one real decision as manager, and your decision already has everyone wanting to fire you....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while you were up to your ass in geese ... • College baseball: Rematch in the finals ... it'll be Heels vs. Beavers. Get it on! • Soccer: U.S. one win away from that sweet, sweet Gold Cup. • MLB: Cleanup on aisle one! ... Rockies rock Rocket, Yankees swept at Coors....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Bell refuses to share his outline, calling you a pimp ... • College baseball: College World Series, at Omaha; North Carolina vs. Rice. Do owls have large talons? [ESPN] • Soccer: MLS, Chivas USA at Houston. Soccer, you have glanced off of the crossbar of our heart. [ESPN2] • Soccer:...
Your Importance Is Minimal, Child
We don't mean to imply that Jeff Gordon's newborn child — Ella Sofia Gordon, born yesterday at 9:09 — isn't going to be the most important person in her own family, but the following paragraph appeared on his official site today. (Via the Celebrity Baby Names Blog ... now there's a blog! It's almost...
This Is Why That Child Was Beating Your Ass
As anyone who watches "The Colbert Report" knows, children are a national menace that plan on taking the planet from us. And, to expedite the process, they're all now taking steroids....
Tony LaRussa Is Sexier Than You Think
We don't mean to imply that vegetarians are inherently unsexy people, but we think that maybe they need to upgrade the attractiveness level of their celebrities. One of the nominees for PETA's sexiest vegetarian is ... Tony LaRussa....
A Q&A With Sen. Chris Dodd
Unlike most of the rest of America, we're already entranced by the 2008 Presidential race, even though we're, uh, still 17 months away from the election. (We have a history of being way too into this business way too early.) At this point, most candidates are just trying to raise money and elbow for...