g Page 5602 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Come Celebrate An Old Man's Victory Lap
Not that any of you were wondering, but this is clearly why Sammy Sosa came back after "retiring:" He gets to make this ridiculous face in front of a stadium full of fans who still aren't quite sure what to think of him....

About Last Night
What you missed while mowing the front lawn with scissors ... • College baseball: No ants for you! Oregon State 7, UC Irvine 1. • MLB: Sammy Sosa hits No. 600, pending results of your analysis. • MLS: Just a glorified Crew ... Columbus over Kansas City 2-1, like we had to tell you....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch now that you have a little freakin' peace and quiet ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Peter "Zucchini Bread" Manfredo Jr. vs. David "Mary Poppins" Banks, at Ledyard, Conn. [ESPN2] • College baseball: World Series, at Omaha, Oregon State vs. UC Irvine. When the Beavers meet the 'Eaters...

Kenny Anderson Will Make You Sweat
In non-Reggie Theus coaching news, yesterday, former NBA point guard Kenny Anderson was hired yesterday for a new coaching gig. And it's in that favorite place for us to drop by from time to time: The CBA! Since we saw you last, CBA, you've pared down a lot of your teams, though the Butte Daredevils...

Dicky Lyons Is One Dope Dude
Dicky Lyons is a wide receiver for the Kentucky Wildcats, and despite his seemingly less-than-chiseled-athlete physique, he's one of their better players. And he also seems like as amiable a doofus as you could possibly meet....

Police Make It Rain On Pac Man
So much for Pac Man Jones just being an innocent bystander in that strip club shooting ... he's been formally charged with two counts of felony coercion....

Robots Ride Camels Better Than Children
Like you, we are aware of the upcoming robot apocalypse. Our human emotion is our primary weakness and will lead to our ultimate downfall....

Mike And Mike Are Everywhere You Look
All told, we think we gave Mike and Mike too hard of a time on the whole spelling bee thing. They weren't so bad; maybe they toned down the schtick for ABC. Anyway, as part of ESPN's plan to have Mike Greenberg (the gay one) and Mike Golic (the fat one) broadcasting every event that Berman and Tiric...

Ranking The Bengals Arrests
• Which Bengals arrest was truly the most impressive? [Larry Brown Sports] • Whatever happened to the "Dreyfus Affair" movie? [Sports At Random] • We're just eight days away from that whole draft business. [Complete Sports] • How can the Bulls NOT go after Kobe? [Frank The Tank] • Magglio Ordonez sh...

Tim Floyd Likes Them Young
Since not every recruit can be OJ Mayo and just show up at your doorstep, USC coach Tim Floyd has had to get creative over the last two years. So, for the second season in a row, he has offered a full scholarship to an eighth grader....

The Real Irony Is They Just Mopped That Street
Many years from now, when we all have personal jet packs and Brett Favre finally retires, mop jousting will be as commonplace at buttered toast. ESPN will have four channels devoted to it, all hosted by Mike Golic. Your kid will be in a mop jousting league. Every family will own at least seven mops....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for tonight's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Fantasy MLB w/Tristan Cockcroft. I'm tellin' ya, life ain't easy for a boy named Cockcroft. • 1 p.m. NHL w/Scott Burnside: Hockey puck-shaped Krispy Kremes ... an idea whose time has come? • 3 p.m. FB Recruiting w/Craig Haube...

Ryan Leaf About To Be Immortalized On Digital Film
Six months ago, Football Outsiders told the tale of "Leaf: An Almost True Story," a mock-documentary about Ryan Leaf. Apparently, the movie has progressed a bit since then: It looks like it's going to be "released" in October....

Not A Coach, But He Played One On TV
We happily welcome Reggie Theus, mustached oiled man of mystery, back to the NBA, thanks to his new gig as head coach of the Sacramento Kings. Theus, of course, is probably more famous for his modeling and thespian work than his coaching, though he did bring New Mexico State to the NCAA tournament l...

Elijah Dukes Is On The Air
We hope you weren't trying to get through to WDAE Radio on Tuesday, as various members of the Dukes family had the phone lines jammed pretty much all day. We hate when that happens. Tuesday was Fun Day for Ron Diaz and Ian Beckles over at the Ft. Lauderdale station, as an agitated Elijah Dukes calle...

About Last Night ...
What you missed due to the mop fight ... • MLB: It's Twins! Mets fall 9-0, decide to disband. • College baseball: OK, who else is rooting for an Anteaters, Beavers final? • Tennis: There are some who call me ... Tim. Henman advances at Nottingham Open....

Baseball Remains Very Good To Sammy Sosa
As the last smidgen of interleague play fades from our consciousness — and we'll never forget that magical June of 2007! — we lament, for a moment, that tonight's Rangers-Cubs game will be played in Arlington rather than at Wrigley. We would love to see how Sammy Sosa's homecoming to the Friendly Co...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while the new White Stripes melts your face off • College baseball: World Series, at Omaha, UC Irvine vs. Arizona State. ZOT! [ESPN2] • Golf: CVS/pharmacy Charity Classic, final round, at Barrington, R.I. We could go on about this, but it doesn't have anything to do with Tiger's baby, ...

The USFL Lives On Through Golf Scrambles
The Wizard Of Odds tips us off to quite the reunion this weekend: It's the 25th anniversary of the USFL! Yes, the football league in which the most powerful person was Donald Trump — never a good sign....

When Your ERA Is 0.04, Nobody Cares Whom You Took To Prom
One of the women in this photo — we're not sure which one, and we're not gonna go try and find out, lest their father hunt us down and call us out in the pages of a national newspaper — is Katie Osburn, a pitcher for Allen Park Cabrini high school in Michigan. Well, we say "a" pitcher, but we really...