g Page 5662 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Pacman Jones Doesn't Like To Make It Rain
Time for your Pacman Jones update ... and it's a fun one. Everybody's favorite bouncer biter is in even more trouble today, as the search warrant for him has been made public. All kinds of doozies in here:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed as Socrates scores possibly the most important goal of his career ... • NBA: Jacked up ... Phil Jackson's first six-game losing streak, as Jarrett Jack leads Portland over LA 112-108. • College basketball: UConn work it out, UConn work it ooouuutttt ... Calhoun's milestone win import...

Some Las Vegas Celebrity Waldo
So here's a fun end-of-day game from The 700 Level: See how many "celebrities" you can spot in the stands of the NBA All-Star Game over the weekend. No bonus points, sadly, for recently conceived fetuses, just the night before, being mainlined Red Bull through umbilical cords....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while pondering the top 10 movie guns of all time ... • College men's basketball: Boston College at Virginia Tech [ESPN]; Texas A&M at Oklahoma State [ESPN]; St. John's at Louisville. You study your huge NCAA Tournament wall bracket with the intensity of Patton in Sicily. [ESPN2] • Cyc...

Jim Sorgi Is Willing To Scrounge For Endorsement Opportunities
Indianapolis Colts backup quarterback Jim Sorgi — he of the crushed larynx and perpetual clipboard — apparently has a stiled, if bemused, sense of himself: He is actually applying to be the Maytag repairman spokesperson....

Brent Musburger Will Kick Your Ass
A reader diddling around on the Toys R' Us Web site — don't ask — came across this lovely knick-knack: It's the official Brent Musburger action figure. Released in connection with Rocky II, this Brent is pumped up and ready to kick ass and drink some goddamn beer....

Moon Over Mormon Country
Here's the word from the official USC ice hockey site, which was on the scene as the Trojans ended their season with a 6-4 loss in the ACHA playoffs to BYU this past weekend:...

Blogdome: As If It Weren't Bad Enough To Be A Pirates Fan
• The Pirates brought in Dick Vitale as a motivational speaker. Yikes. [Mondesi's House] • What some Denver sports folks will be giving up for Lent. [Slushygutter] • How bad is the Browns' luck? They've got a 40 percent chance at winning their NFL Draft coin flip. [Cursed Cleveland] • Now this is a ...

Bearcats Football Trying Out The Eight-Man Weave
You know, when you're talking group sex, you're obviously talking about Ohio. This is something the Cincinnati Bearcats like to call "an eight-on-one drill."...

The Return Of El Guapo
The Nashua Pride minor league baseball team is renowned, like any great minor league team, for its desperate promotions to bring people to the ballpark. (Last year they signed Oil Can Boyd ... well, before he was hit with stalking charges.) Well, this year, they've come up with the best promotion ye...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Football draft expert Mel Kiper: They may have removed them on the site, but may I still make the little quote marks with my fingers when I say the word "expert" in that sentence? • 3 p.m. College football with Beano Cook: Can y...

Look, Look, Gonzaga Drugs!
Today's public service journalism award goes to The Spokesman-Review in Spokane, Wash., who have included, in their update on Gonzaga forward Josh Heytvelt's arrest for drug possession, a full on photo gallery of the controlled substances. That's right: The visual cornucopia that is psilocybin is th...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while tending your four-legged duck ... • NBA: Oh fellas ... Steve Nash is back ... • College basketball: Well, that didn't last long. No. 1 Wisconsin knocked off by Michigan State. • NHL: Ice capades ... Senators give Murray 600th coaching win....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that Kurt Cobain WOULD HAVE BEEN 40 YEARS OLD TODAY ... • College basketball: Wisconsin at Michigan State; LSU at Kentucky [ESPN] ; DePaul at Notre Dame. Oh guide this free throw, sweet baby Jesus, and also help me smite mine enemies. [ESPN2] • NBA: Denver at San Antonio...

Eventually, The Running Man Will Become Reality
You know, with the freakshow that boxing has become and probably always was, that it was inevitable: ESPN is reporting that Tommy Morrison, the former "Rocky V" boxer who has HIV, will be fighting Thursday night....

We're So Sorry, Uncle Albert
Look, we're still a little unclear on why the University of Florida's mascot statue, Albert the Alligator, was placed on the Ohio State campus recently (some kind of a Nike promotion or something). All we know is that it took more than five hours for students there to destroy it, which is simply una...

Blogdome: Die, Dog, Die
• Falcons love to kill dogs. [Donkey Carnival] • The new A's manager speaks. [Athletics Nation] • Pat Burrell, wedding charmer. [The 700 Level] • Goodbye, Bernie. [And Here Come The Pretzels] • Hey, Frank D'Angelo: You're a tool. We eagerly await your misspelled PDF. [Out Of Left Field] • Preparing ...

Tracking Down The Jewish Jordan
Old basketball fans will remember Tamir Goodman, the so-called "Jewish Jordan," who excited many by winning a high school All-Star MVP Game award before ultimately leaving Maryland, partly because he wouldn't play on the Sabbath. Well, Gelf has tracked down Goodman, who's currently playing in a semi...

No, Really, Your Testimony Was Quite Pleasant
Sorry, all you CourtTV legal eagles desperate for a fixin' of Charlie Weis gastric bypass surgery malpractice goodness: The whole rigmarole has been declared a mistrial....

Go Vandy ... And Duck!
Even though it's Vanderbilt that's being fined for their fans running on the court, this video shows that the real bad guy might have been the Florida player who punch a fan in the face....