g Page 5698 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bonds Back In Only Place That Truly Loves Him
Well, now we can breathe easy over here; Barry Bonds won't be going to St. Louis. (And now that he's not, we'd like to note that we would have never sold out our principles to root for him. Nope! No way! Obviously! Of course not!)...
It's Sleepy Football Night In America
We try to recap each weeknight game the morning after around here, because weekday games are rare and often are the talk of the "water cooler" around "the office" with one's "co-workers." Unfortunately, last night's Steelers-Browns tilt was, well, a completely shellacking that was over early and in ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while applying cologne to your ... well, just see No. 10 ... • NFL: Willie Parker sets Steelers rushing mark in win over Browns in the least-TiVoed game of the season so far. • NBA: Pow! Pistons surprise Mavericks in Dallas. • NHL: Shootout! Henrik Lundqvist, you're our hero....
Well, It's Not That Big A Deal If You Miss This One
This, it's safe to say, is not one of those night when we're banging our head against the wall for not having the NFL Network. (We're far more concerned about missing the Rutgers bowl game.) The Steelers and the Browns, two teams long since removed from the playoff picture, go head to head tonight, ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Wile E. Coyote just gives up and spends the day in bed ... • College football: College Football Awards Show, at Orlando. Unless this is hosted by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, we are unlikely to tune in. [ESPN] • College men's basketball: Alabama at Notre Dame. Feel The Catholicism....
Insert "They Couldn't Use Their Hands" Joke Here
Goddammit, why can't American athletes be as interesting and publicly debaucherous as British athletes? We mean, seriously....
Anonymous Web People Claim There's A Gay Net
Today in Unsubstantiated Web Rumors That We Merely Link To Rather Than Report Ourselves In Order To Give Us Some Sort Of Half-Assed Way Out In Case The Story Turns Out To Be Complete Bullshit, Which Seems More Than A Little Likely, But Hey It's Still Fun And Will Make For Some Pretty Amusing Comment...
Blogdome: One Tired Cubs GM
• The Cubs actually spending money made our heart skip a beat too. [Metsblog] • Brad Daugherty, still not getting along with the Cavs. [Erik Cassano's Weblog] • Did Lance Armstrong's cancer make him a better cyclist? [Steroid Nation] • Big money for the guys at Armchair GM. [TrendDiary] • The Sonics...
Sadly, She Was Only On Level One
What happens when you cross Million Dollar Baby with The Miracle Worker? You get this; which we suppose is video boxing, but could also be a clearcut case of demonic possession. We blame two things for these deeply troubling images: The new wireless Wii remote, and Title IX. Clearly there are flaws ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NCAA FB with Paul Maguire: Uses more makeup ... Joe Theismann or Brad Nessler? • 2 p.m NCAA FB with Craig James: How do you find time for this with your duties on King of Queens? • 3 p.m. NHL with Barry Melrose: Better sex euph...
Bonds In St. Louis, And What It Could Mean For The Human Condition
Part of being a sports fan is making internal deals with yourself. Sure, you might despise, say, Charles Oakley when he's on the other team, but when he's on your team, he's indispensable and the guy you scream for. No matter what he has done in the past, no matter how much he has hurt your team or ...
Keeping The Rug In Place While Underwater
Just to continue our early-morning motif of embarassing photos of coaches and managers, we present this photo of Kansas coach Bill Self, splashing around with his troops in Hawaii before the tournament last week....
NBA Roundup: NOOCH Happens
Notes from Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
About Last Night ...
What you missed while finally agreeing to disconnect the feeding tube from Michigan's national title hopes ... • NHL: It seems strange to say "Oilers and Hurricanes" and "rematch of Stanley Cup finals" in the same sentence, but there you have it. • College basketball: Bobby Knight will soon be maste...
Bart Starr Totally Ditched This Chick Back In '66
Imagine, for a moment, that you're Bart Starr, a legendary quarterback, a hero to those who wear processed curds on their head, pretty much an all around prince of the planet. You're 72 years old; you just want to sign your merchandise, make sure your bladder's still working properly and sneak in an...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a hard day of dodging cricket balls ... • College men's basketball: Holy Cross at Duke; Memphis at Tennessee. Cameron Crazies claim that therapy has now made them sane, productive members of society. May one of them show you to your seat? [ESPN2] • NBA: Philadelphia at Chicago. M...
The Trojans Needed To VISUALIZE Their Success (Oh, And Tackle Better)
So why did Southern California lose to UCLA last week? Not because of a stout Bruins defense, or a somewhat green Trojans squad cracking under the pressure. Nope, they lost because coach Pete Carroll programmed his team to lose....
Big Ben Gets The Brady Treatment
The guy who made that my-lord-it's-everywhere Tom Brady tribute video has come out with a new one, devoted to SHOTY Tournament quarterfinalist Ben Roethlisberger. It's moderately amusing, but we mostly enjoy that it briefly features our famous Big Ben photos and ends with the line "Should have start...
Afterwards, They Attacked A Guy With Their Unfinished Screenplays
You know, we have to give credit where credit is due: We have never considered UCLA Bruins fans among the most passionate and violent in the land of collegiate sports, but, apparently, we were mistaken. After the Bruins' win over USC last Saturday, a group of Bruins fans ganged up and attacked a Tro...
ESPN Wants Your Gritty Slices Of Urban Life
So, let's see: We have ESPN The Weekend, ESPN The Restaurant, ESPN The Radio Station, ESPN The Magazine, ESPN The Cellphone Provider, ESPN The Video Game Content Survivor and, inevitably, ESPN The Bi-Curious Brothel. What's next? Well, how about ESPN The Film Festival!...