Germany Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
South Korea's Performance Is Why The World Cup Exists<em></em>
If there’s one thing that will really stick with me from this morning’s World Cup action, it isn’t Mexico spending 90 minutes stress-barfing all over themselves. Neither is it the shock of defending champion Germany failing to get out of the group stage. What I’ll most likely remember long after thi...
Fraud-Ass Mexico Dodged A Bullet Today
After looking commanding in an opening-day beatdown of the World Cup’s defending champs, then slick and deadly in an easy victory over South Korea, Mexico proceeded to completely shit the bed today. All they needed to do against Sweden was not lose by multiple goals, which seemed like something betw...
South Korea Killed Germany And Tossed The Dead Body Out Of The World Cup
Germany, the reigning champions of world soccer and one of the three huge favorites to win this World Cup, have been knocked out of the tournament at the group stage for the first time in history after losing to South Korea by a score of 2-0. This is absolutely insane....
Toni Kroos's Last-Second Goal Looks Even More Incredible From This Alternate Angle
The angles at which soccer games are broadcast can often make free-kick opportunities look much simpler than they actually are. From way up in the sky, the wall of defenders looks much less imposing, the distance from ball to goal much more manageable, and the target much easier to hit....
Toni Kroos Saves Germany's World Cup With Insane Last-Second Golazo
Germany were perilously close to seeing their chances of making it out of their group dwindle to almost nothing. Tied at 1-1 against Sweden, down to ten men with only seconds remaining in regulation, Germany needed a miracle. Then Toni Kroos did what you see above....
Chicharito Earned Those Tears
Javier “Chicharito” Hernández was not the best Mexican player on the field in Sunday’s World Cup match against Germany. That honor probably belongs to goal-scorer Hirving Lozano, or any of El Tri’s defensive midfielders and center backs who spent the game stoning Germany’s attacks. Hernández was not...
Mexico Upset Defending Champs In Germany's First World Cup Opener Loss Since 1982
Defending World Cup champs Germany were upset in their opener Sunday by a gutsy and tough-as-nails Mexico side, 1-0. There have been some surprising results in the tournament so far—Iceland drawing Argentina, Portugal drawing Spain—but this is the first holy shit upset....
Germany Aren't Very German, But They Are Still Amazing Anyway
National identities in soccer are real. Mostly they emerge from the styles of play and the youth coaching methods that predominate in any given country’s soccer setup, and the values those styles and methods reflect. There is a reason why Brazil are almost always led by graceful and expressive attac...
Canada Loses In Hockey Again
Doesn’t some language have a word for feeling joy at others’ failure?...
German Hockey Player Narrowly Avoids <i>Der Eismaschine</i><em></em>
Stefan Loibl of the Straubing Tigers was just giving a routine interview in the second intermission of a 4-2 loss to fellow German hockey club Kölner Haie. But just when you’re feeling safe—that’s when Der Eismaschine will strike....
Have A Better Sunday Than This Guy
Today’s men’s singles final at the German Open in Hamburg suffered a bit of an inverted-umbrella delay, and pity the poor Körperklaus who was tasked with trying to resolve it. ...
Mexico's Marco Fabián Scored A Beautiful, Futile Golazo <em></em>
In the 89th minute of the Confederations Cup semifinal between Mexico and Germany, Mexico substitute Marco Fabián, while standing midway between the halfway line and the penalty box, received a pass off a free kick, stepped up to the ball, and clobbered the hell out of it....
Two More American Teenagers Are Set To Make Their Bundesliga Debuts
Christian Pulisic spent this season with Borussia Dortmund tearing it up on the right flank and establishing himself as a vital cog of one of the best offenses in the world. The 18-year-old had four goals and 10 assists for the club in the Bundesliga and Champions League, and put forth the best seas...
Dortmund's Other Teenage Star Slams The Door On Bayern Munich To Reach German Cup Final
With Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund tied 2-2 late in their German Cup semifinal match, Dortmund’s teenage star (no, not that one) blasted the game-winning goal from behind a screen of defenders. Ousmane Dembele’s late winner sent his club to their fourth consecutive German Cup final, leaving Ge...
After Contract Dispute, U.S. Women's Hockey Is Into World Championship Semifinals
A week ago, the participation of the U.S. women’s hockey team in the IIHF World Championship was uncertain, as they were struggling through contract negotiations with USA Hockey in hopes of ensuring equitable pay and treatment. But two days before the tournament started, the sides reached an agreeme...
Lukas Podolski's Last Goal For Germany Was A Poetic Banger
In Lukas Podolski’s last appearance for Germany’s national team, the former Arsenal man, corner kick extraordinaire, and guy known for absolutely crushing the ball launched a rocket into the top right corner in the 69th minute to beat England 1-0 in the friendly. It was the perfect final goal for th...
U.S. Performs Nazi-Era "Deutschland, Deutschland Über Alles" Before Fed Cup Match Against Germany<em></em>
The USTA has apologized to Germany for performing the antiquated first verse of that country’s national anthem—the “Deutschland, Deutschland Über Alles” one, last used by the Nazis—before yesterday’s Fed Cup match between German Andrea Petkovic and American Alison Riske....
Amateur Soccer Man Secures His Spot In Heaven With This Majestic Goal
“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle,” Jesus Christ once remarked, “than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” He continued, “But if a soccer man doth line up and crack a sweet shot on goal, and find himself denied by the crossbar, yet resist the weapons of Lucifer as d...
Brazil Win Their First-Ever Soccer Gold In Penalty Shootout
Neymar scored Brazil’s only goal in regulation during the gold medal game against Germany today. But it was his shootout-deciding penalty kick to give the host country its first ever gold medal in soccer that will likely be remembered as one of the enduring moments of the 2016 Olympics....
Heh. Heh.
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