gi Page 508 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Arian Foster Stays In Shape By Riding A Mechanical Bull While Jared From Subway Looks On
Houston Texans running back Arian Foster rode a mechanical bull for a Subway-promotion-cum-charity-thing on Thursday. Jared looked on, with some other dude, and perhaps no one else....

Anyone Want A Life-Size Wall Decal Of Dan Gilbert's Bowtied Son?
Nick Gilbert, the breathing, five-foot talisman that charmed Cleveland to Kyrie Iring in May, wowed us with his snazzy enthusiasm at the lottery....

They're Making A Full-Body Wax Casting Of Bernard Hopkins For Display In An "Odditorium"
Hot off the presses from Bernard Hopkins's press folks and the good people from Ripley's Believe It Or Not is word that the boxer has committed to a two-day appearance in the F/X department at Ripley's world headquarters in Orlando. There, on Monday and Tuesday, he will "begin the tedious task of h...

If You Didn't Watch The 15th Annual Summer Redneck Games On Saturday, You Missed Out
The 15th annual Summer Redneck Games happened on Saturday, in East Dublin, Georgia, and we weren't there. This we regret. Thankfully the Macon Telegraph did attend....

When Life Gave An Elderly Pervert A Lemonade Stand, He "Repeatedly Rubbed His Breast And Groin"
Sweet Christ, did a 79-year-old convicted sex offender from Somers Point, NJ really approach a lemonade stand across the street from the police station and get all self-grabby in front of three young girls, none of whom were older than 14?...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To The Ballplayer's Twilight
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Derek Jeter and his labored quest for 3,000 hits, here are well-told stories of ballplayers just before, in the years after, or at the exact moment they retired....

Here's A Nice Lady Fan Peeing In Her Seat (NSFW)
We know. The line to the ladies room is long. We sympathize. But still: ew ew ew....

He Apologized For His Unacceptable Behavior!
"Hey everyone. I'm taking this time to apologize for my involvement with the post game riots after the Bruins defeated the Canucks to take the Stanley Cup. My involvement was a bad decision I made in the heat of the moment and it something that i feel a profound sense of regret towards. I would li...

Giants' Cable Partner Looking For Baby Resulting From Celebratory Post-World-Series Love-Makin'
The San Francisco Giants are a little zanier than the other MLB teams. That's just how it is. Note, for example, some of their upcoming special events at the ballpark: Singles Night (presented by Captain Morgan), "Law & Disorder" Legal Professionals Night, Bill Graham Tribute Night, and, our favorit...

Here's A Foul On A Mexican Player That Involves "El Pene"
In yesterday's Chile-Mexico Copa America match, chileno Gary Medel got a hold of Giovani Dos Santos and did not let go until the man went down. Chile went on to win, 2-1, and will play Uruguay on Friday. May they leave los penes en paz....

Mentally Disabled Man Beaten Up At Jacksonville Publix For Complimenting UGA Shirt
Just nuke the whole region and don't look back. [WOKV]...

Blotto Teenage Brewers Fan Soils Himself And Falls Down Stairs At Miller Park
A few years back, the New York Times had a piece about Wisconsin's drinking problem. "When it comes to drinking, it seems, no state keeps pace with Wisconsin," they wrote. It was bad, they said, in large part because Wisconsin bars and restaurants allow minors to drink in the presence of parents o...

Yes, Gaza Strip Parkour Is Seen As A Distraction From "Violence And Militancy"
Mohammed and Abdallah are apparently "Gaza's leading practitioners of parkour" which they see as "set apart from political and religious factionalism, from violence and militancy."...

Joe Paterno On Stroking And Big Kisses, Completely Out Of Context
Last night, ESPN hosted an hour-long feature called "'Difference Makers: Life Lessons with Paterno and Krzyzewski." The coaches talked about greatness and being great and the ways of the greats and how great it is to be great, and Rece Davis mentioned a few times that they were both quite great. I...

With NBA Lockout Looming, Gilbert Arenas And Dwight Howard Start Planking
Perhaps you are familiar with planking, one of those odd fads forced upon us by Australians. (Just like Hugh Jackman!) One planks by lying completely flat on an odd surface and then photographing it....

Channing Crowder's Jersey And The NCAA's Land Of Make Believe
Channing Crowder talks in hypotheticals. "Hypothetically," he says, he doesn't have any more of his old Florida jerseys. Some local businessmen, he says, really liked his play. "Hypothetically."...

American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....

Breaking: Mid-Atlantic Sports Scene Goes Insane
The Flyers shipped Jeff Carter to Columbus and captain Mike Richards to Los Angeles. Then Jim Riggleman resigned as Nationals manager, just as the Nats are the league's hottest team. All this in the span of about 20 minutes. We're just waiting for the Ravens to ritually slaughter an orphanage, and t...

Of Course The Pill-Popping Couple Charged With Four Pharmacy Murders Got Engaged At An Islanders Game
Per the New York Daily News, "A pill-popping, gun-loving Army vet and his junkie wife were charged Wednesday night in the cold-blooded massacre of four innocent people at a Long Island pharmacy. David Laffer and Melinda Brady were hauled out of his mother's Medford, L.I., house in handcuffs after h...
