gi Page 526 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bud Selig Thinks Abner Doubleday Invented Baseball. Of Course He Does.
Is there a better summation of the Bud Selig Era than the fact that the man himself recently declared in a letter, "I really believe that Abner Doubleday is the 'Father of Baseball'"?...

Hulk Hogan: I Didn't Show My Genitals To My Daughter
In a 12-second video provided to "best friend" Bubba The Love Sponge, former professional wrestler Hulk Hogan tries to make the case that he didn't flash his junk seconds after his daughter Brooke was bump-grindin' in a hotel room....

Notre Dame President: School Is Responsible In Declan Sullivan's Death; Brian Kelly "Has A Bright Future"
"Declan Sullivan was entrusted to our care," Notre Dame President John I. Jenkins says in an email to students, faculty, staff, and alumni, addressing the death of the football team's videographer, "and we failed to keep him safe." Full email below....

Is This The Machine Or An Imposter On The Tonight Show?
Click to view Brian Wilson took his routine to The Tonight Show last night and—among other things—introduced The Machine to the Jaywalking-loving audience (around the 3:30 mark). Either Pat Burrell gained weight, or we have a whole new mystery on our hands....

Knifepoint Cunnilingus And A Fishy Scent
I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I really think you should check this out....

Colin Cowherd's Asinine John Wall Rant, With Video Accompaniment
On Tuesday, John Wall played his first home game as a Washington Wizard. During his introduction, he came out to "Teach Me How To Dougie" and performed the accompanying dance. Colin Cowherd was less than thrilled because Colin Cowherd is an asshole....

Pablo Sandoval Celebrated Exactly How You'd Think
With a trip to family-style Italian chain restaurant Buca di Beppo and a Colossal Brownie Sundae ("ideal for up to 6"). He promises to be in shape for Spring Training. Heard that before. [Inside Scoop SF]...

Watch The Giants' Championship Parade
The Giants parade is going strong. Watch it here, but beware of Commies, pinkos, gays, dopeheads and Brian Wilsons....

People Are Psyched That Chris "Mad Dog" Russo's Baseball Team Won, According To Chris "Mad Dog" Russo
Professional yelling person Chris Russo, who once yelled some stuff about his Giants, tells our old friend Ben Cohen, "I'm amazed at how many fans are happy for me." [WSJ]...

Last Night's Winner: Lunatic America
So, yeah, the towering weirdos and self-styled public slapdicks are big winners yet again, and this being America, we cannot let such a momentous occasion pass without being loudly stupid about it....

A Roundup Of Happy San Franciscans Yelling About The Giants
In an interview with Karl Ravech following Game 5, Giants ace Tim Lincecum said he hoped "a lot of beer [was] flowing and [a lot of] smoke [was] in the air." San Francisco did not disappoint Timmy....

In Which People Get Pissy When A College Coach Tells An Opponent He's Going To Choke
Florida-Georgia is still a big deal to them, even if neither team matters this year. But a Georgia coach cursing and grabbing his throat at UF's kicker before the gamewinning FG seems to have struck a nerve....

Knicks Game Canceled Due To Asbestos
Newsday's Alan Hahn is reporting tonight's Magic/Knicks game will be postponed after asbestos fell from the ceiling during cleaning. This is clearly a metaphor for...something....

When World Series Riots Go Wrong, People Get Hit By Cars
Here's some footage that's going around today. In it, a rowdy crowd celebrates the Giants win with vandalism and a bonfire. Then a car comes through the crowd and a mob swarms the car and driver until police show up. Holy shit....

Impressive Dunk Makes Announcer Shout Something Your Grandmother Might Say
With a clear lane to the hoop—thanks to Manu Ginobili getting burned going for a steal—Eric Gordon threw down a spectacular dunk last night. One that made Clippers play-by-play guy Ralph Lawler delightfully exclaim, "Oh me oh my!" [Awful Announcing]...

Last Night's Winner: Edgar Renteria, MVP The Earl Weaver And Babe Ruth Way
It's not a shock that the Giants did it with pitching, defense and the three-run homer, as espoused by Weaver. It is a shock that the homer came from dink-hitter Edgar Renteria, and that he apparently called his shot....

For The First Time Ever, San Franciscans Are On Top Of A Muni Bus, Not Beneath It
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The San Francisco Giants Are World Champions
The Giants beat the Rangers 3-1 in Game 5 tonight for their first World Series title in 56 years, and Timmy's locks are about to get a well-deserved champagne lather....

Declan Sullivan's Death Could Cost Notre Dame A Lot Of Money
Patrick Rishe, a writer for Forbes' SportsMoney blog, has calculated that Declan Sullivan's death could cost Notre Dame close to $30 million in compensatory and punitive damages....