gi Page 546 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Notre Dame Gets Its Angry, Egotistical Man
The South Bend Tribune is reporting that after an earlier feint toward UConn, Notre Dame has made its decision and Cincinnati's Brian Kelly will take the reigns in South Bend. But is he a big enough jerk?...

Kick 'Em In The Grill, Pete
Amazing tale of Prime Minister Pete Nice, former member of whitey hip-hop group 3rd Bass, and his involvement in the shady sports memorabilia market, which has left him holding just a box of Newports. And Puma sweats. [SI]...

As It Turns Out, NBA Players Haven't Completely Tuned Out David Stern
David Stern insists with robotic regularity that his ballers are the "best athletes in the world". (Sometimes, when he's feeling particularly saucy, he goes with "most extraordinarily gifted".)...

Deadspin Films Presents: "High And Outside: The Dock Ellis Story"
Sporting apparel/culture site No Mas recently released the animated story of Dock Ellis, who threw a no-hitter on acid—fucking ACID—and died last December. Time for his biopic, yeah? Let's cast and storyboard this thing. To Hollywood we go!...

Having Eli Manning's Autograph More Humiliating Than Losing To Eli Manning
In the catalog of manufactured outrage, it's hard to think of a dumber example than Dallas players somehow being angry at Eli Manning for signing a wall in the new Cowboys Stadium. Plaster has never been so disrespected!...

Mangino Rides Off Into The Sunset, Less Than Comfortably
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Fame And Fortune On The Razor's Edge
Was it fate that brought down the dullest man in sports? Or was it something...sharper? We take a look at the history of Gillette pitchmen, and the woes that befell them soon after. Presenting, the Gillette Curse....

Mark Mangino Now Has More Time For That NordicTrack In His Garage
Craggs was wrong: Mangino wasn't fired, he "resigned." After a parade of former players claiming abuse, Kansas finally made like the Catholic Church and decided it's time to move on. Baby Mangino sheds a tear. And burps and poops. [KU]...

Mark Mangino Mistreats His Players In Cruel, Exotic Ways
The hand you see here belongs to a former Kansas defensive lineman, who says that in 2003, surly parade balloon Mark Mangino made him "bear-crawl" across a hot AstroTurf field. It was punishment for missing, oh yes, a weigh-in....

Last Night's Winner: Losers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the 1988-89 Miami Heat and the 1998-99 Clippers, who won last night because the New Jersey Nets lost....

Rick Reilly® Gives Himself Another Tongue-Bath
In 2007, Reilly® mailed in a Sports Illustrated column in which he counted off everything he loves about sports. Sharp-eyed readers will find certain similarities with today's mailed-in ESPN column, in which Reilly counts off everything he loves about sports....

Brian Kelly Will Coach The Fighting Irish, According To Writing Irish
In the most Irish piece of breaking news ever, a man named Sean O'Shea at something called IrishCentral.com is reporting that Cincinnati's Brian Kelly will indeed be the new coach of Notre Dame. [IrishCentral.com]...

Sad Tiger Woods Cops To "Personal Failings" (UPDATE)
Tiger has issued what his poker-faced web site calls a "comment on current events," and in it he apologizes to fans and family for unnamed transgressions, asks for privacy and offers himself up as a martyr of the media age....

New York Sports Synergy Becoming Unbearable
First Patrick Ewing wants to coach the Nets. Then Joe Girardi gives sliding lessons to Mark Sanchez. All we need is Mike Piazza sharing style tips with Sean Avery, and the circle will be complete. [NY Post / AP]...

Chinese Crack Tiger Woods Case With Dramatic CGI Re-Enactment
Simply ... incredible. We are through the looking glass, people. [TMZ, MSF; See also this.]...

2009 SHOTY Awards: A New Beginning
Because a full month of SHOTY tournament voting gets a little tiresome, we're making a few changes. Follow along....

Charlie Weis: Done
No official word from the university yet, but the New York Daily News is the first to report that Charlie Weis has been fired by Notre Dame....

Franciscan Friar? Or Ochocinco Finding A Great Bargain?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The One With All Sorts Of Crap
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Last Night's Winner: Your Stomach
Everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like anyone who had a brined turkey and tasty, tasty sweet potatoes yesterday. And was lucky enough to have leftovers today....