gi Page 547 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tiger Woods Rumored To Be Getting His Becky On, Internet Declares.
The National Enquirer has been tailing a 34-year-old NYC woman whom they claim is having a dirty affair with Eldrick. They even have pictures of her in Australia checking into the same hotel as him. Brilliant MediaTakeout commenters respond accordingly....

Cold-Cocked Clausen Coddled By QB Coaches
A couple of minor updates to the Clausen Affair. He's wearing a black visor (usually not allowed at Notre Dame) during practice and the AD says, "He just got coldcocked by somebody, and we're very disturbed by that." [ESPN]...

The Perfect Gift For The Kris Brown Fan In Your Life
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

PETA And Skynet Team Up To Take On U Of Georgia
Because nothing even remotely animal-related can happen without PETA getting involved, the animal rights organization is recommending that the recently deceased Uga VII be replaced with an animatronic bulldog. And this is how the robot war begins......

Baby Tressel Is A Sharp Dresser
Concerned reader Robert is worried that regular Mangino won't be with us much longer, so his baby form will go wanting. So he presents the world with Baby Tressel. Thoughts?...

The Jimmy Clausen Fight: Alternative Histories
The internet has graciously offered up several different explanations of what really happened at CJ's Pub last Saturday night. At this point, they are all equally plausible/ludicrous, but we present these unvarnished tales so that you might pass impartial judgment....

Someone Actually Tried To Blackmail Tom Coughlin?
A 30-year-old Philadelphia man, who lawyers say is mentally disabled, has pleaded guilty to sending threatening email messages to Tom Coughlin. Or are they just naturally assuming that any blackmailer who would choose Coughlin as his target must be deranged?...

Jimmy Clausen Had A Rough Weekend
All Jimmy Clausen wanted to do was enjoy a nice post-game meal with his family and teammates, but an angry Notre Dame fan had to go and remind the QB that he lost to Connecticut....by punching him in the face....

Black Friday Request: High School Reunion Horror Stories
So as most of you may know, this is shortened week for most Americans so we can all solemnly commemorate the death of turkeys and indigenous people at the hands of white men wearing buckles on their hats....

Thug Life: Marv Albert Says There's No Beef With 50 Cent
What sounded like one of the most bizarre fights since Axl Rose attacked karate-chopping fashion mogul Tommy Hilfiger, longtime NBA announcer Marv Albert told the Dan Patrick show that he "never crossed paths" with angry rapper 50 Cent. [DPShow]...

TV Guide Writers Captivated By Any Ex-Dukie Matchup (Update)
What was the most compelling storyline of this weekend's Orlando-Boston showdown? The heated rivalry between J.J. Redick and Shelden Williams that dates to the time Williams stole Redick's juice box on the team bus to Wake Forest. [Thanks, Todd]...

Gilbert Arenas Makes A Mockery Of Twitter
Agent Zero refuses to start Twittering until he has a million followers. Uh, Gil, that's not how you do it. Actually, you know what? Twitter's stupid and everyone on it is stupid and this will probably work. [DC Sports Bog]...

Brave Woman Gingerly Explains How Mark Cuban Checked Her Out One Night In Vegas
Always a great way to start a blog entry: "I was reluctant to write this blog because Mark Cuban does in fact have a family with kids and a lovely wife..."[The Flight Of My Life]...

The One With Jay Mariotti "Napping"
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Kevin Johnson's Fiancée Accused Of Covering Up His Shady Past
"A congressional investigation of the volunteer organization AmeriCorps contains charges that D.C. schools chief Michelle Rhee handled "damage control" after allegations of sexual misconduct against her now fiance, Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson..."[Washington Examiner]...

Uga VII Is Dead. Long Live Uga VIII
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Daily Mark Mangino Harassment Update
Former Kansas football players are coming out of the woodwork now to tell the us all how awfully "inappropriate" Mark Mangino is when he yells at his players. It's clear that when it comes to emotional devastation, he's the king....

Whitlock: Mangino's Oozing Pumpkin The Root Of All His Coaching Woes
Jason Whitlock offers his funky-fresh perspective on the absurd Mark Mangino poking situation by positing that the beleaguered coach's problems could have all been avoided had he not weighed "450 to 500 pounds." Fat-on-fat crime ensues....

Mark Mangino Has A Bit Of A Temper
Does this look like the face of someone who would berate and threaten his players? Or worse, a parking enforcer who was only doing his job when he gave the Kansas football coach two dozen parking tickets? You'd be surprised....

The Charlie Weis Death Watch Flies Under The Radar
Notre Dame is so desperate to pretend they haven't decided to fire Weis, they've blocked their private plane (also known as the SchmoozeJet) from being tracked on the Internet. Though odds are 2:1 it's been to Palo Alto....