go Page 373 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
White Sox Outfielder Avisail Garcia Attempts To Catch Ball
Lumbering Chicago White Sox right fielder Avisail Garcia can here be observed trying to catch a ball in today’s game against the Detroit Tigers. He scored two runs today, so it comes out in the wash....
Leaked Voicemail: Phil Mickelson Plans To Hustle Suckers For "Some Serious Cash"<em></em>
Phil Mickelson is the same guy on the golf course as off, meaning that he gambles no matter where he is. Wherever Phil lays his bets is his home....
Cardinals Surrender Lead Due To Yadier Molina Being Extremely Sticky
Matt Szczur reached base for the Cubs today when, in the top of the seventh inning, Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina was unable to corral a third strike in the dirt. The reason Molina couldn’t find the ball to put Szczur out at first? It was stuck to his belly....
DEA Obtusely Uses High School Wrestler's Death To Promote Anti-Drug Website
Yahoo has a story about Drew Gintis, a high school wrestler who started taking Oxycodone as a senior. His doctor prescribed it to him after a shoulder injury that ended his wrestling career. At 21, he died from a fentanyl overdose....
Look At This Fucking Asshole<em></em>
Behold idiot son-in-law Jared Kushner—the man now in charge of brokering Middle East peace, Uberizing the federal government, reforming the entire criminal justice system, and keeping Donald Trump’s hands off his wife. This perfect still frame from a David O. Russell film has also been put in charge...
Your Annual Reminder That Jim Nantz Is A Deeply Strange Breed Of Jackass
It’s Masters Week, which means that it’s time again to school you in the strange ways of CBS announcer, burnt-toast enthusiast, and general glass-of-skim-milk-made-into-a-person Jim Nantz. Rick Maese of the Washington Post did an excellent deep dive on Nantz this week and it’s filled with all kinds ...
Dustin Johnson Questionable For Masters After Supposedly Falling Down The Stairs
Dustin Johnson, reigning U.S. Open champion and current No. 1-ranked golfer in the world, might have to miss this weekend’s tournament after he suffered a back injury at his rental home in Augusta, Ga....
Report: White Sox Near Deal With Mike Pelfrey
According to a report from Jon Heyman of Fanrag Sports, the Chicago White Sox are about to bolster their pitching staff with the addition of 11-year major-league veteran Mike Pelfrey:...
Lionel Messi And Luis Suárez Are Extremely Good At Soccer
Barcelona and Sevilla, respectively the second- and fourth-placed teams in La Liga, are midway through what on paper should’ve been a tense, tough match. Only one of those teams has Lionel Messi and Luis Suárez, so it’s already a blowout thanks to those the genius of those two....
Penguins Fan Flips Very Solid Double-Bird
The Penguins beat the Blue Jackets 4-1 yesterday, and the best performance of the night belonged not to anyone on the ice, but to this spectator:...
This Steph Curry Sequence Was Ridiculous, Even For Him
Steph Curry is at it again, right in time for Kevin Durant’s looming return and the Warriors’ forthcoming playoff run. In just over a minute, the Warriors scored 11 points, all of which were either scored or assisted by Curry. He nailed a pair of threes, assisted Klay Thompson for another three, the...
Some NFL Owners Think Roger Goodell Is Making Too Much Money
NFL owners don’t just look for ways to squeeze players and municipalities when it comes to finances: The league is reportedly getting ready to play hardball with frontman Roger Goodell, too....
Magic Forced To Reassure Aaron Gordon Over Dumb, Embarrassing Whiteboard Trade Idea
What do you suppose Orlando Magic head coach Frank Vogel and, uh, star(?) forward Aaron Gordon talked about today, at their meeting—reported by the Orlando Sentinel’s Josh Robbins—about the sudden viral-photo-sparked rumor that the organization might be hoping to trade Gordon for Philadelphia 76ers ...
Adorable Beagle Declares Self Lord Of The Soccer Pitch, All Must Swear Allegiance
Those clowns at The Guardian put a video on YouTube that shows a very good beagle running onto the field during a Northern Premier League match and interrupting the action for over seven minutes. The creator of the video, perhaps believing nobody wants to watch a dog prance around a soccer field for...
This Is What Happens When Your Home Opener Gets Rescheduled<em></em>
Dozens of fans packed the White Sox stadium Tuesday to watch their team’s season opener against the Detroit Tigers, their division rivals. ...
What Year Is It?
What the hell is going on, here? I thought the show about the guys breaking out of prison ended like eight years ago. Now I am seeing commercials that are all like This Tuesday ... [grim men looking at each other through chain-link fence] ... on Fox ... [sooty-faced men being serious] ... you can ne...
The Referees Didn't Want You To Have Any Fun Last Night
Everyone expects to see a certain number of lifeless offensive possessions and back-rimmed jumpers in any college basketball game, basically for the same reason you don’t expect to see the most crisply-turned double plays at a minor league ballgame, and it’s really not surprising to see more of thos...
North Carolina Takes Down Gonzaga To Win Sixth National Championship
After 40 tense, often ugly minutes of basketball, North Carolina defeated Gonzaga, 71-65, to win another national championship, their first since 2009. The game featured 44 fouls, a combined field goal percentage of 34.8, and a series of inexplicable late referee interventions. At one point, Gonzaga...
White Sox Fail To Play Opening Day Game
The Chicago White Sox, who were set to send ace pitcher José Quintana to the mound against the Detroit Tigers and their ace pitcher Justin Verlander today, failed to play, as the game was rained out....
Carlos Gomez Smacks Mammoth Dinger
The Cleveland Indians, last seen ceding a 3-1 World Series lead to the Cubs, are back at it this evening and things are not going well thus far. Corey Kluber gave up a second-inning dinger to new horse owner Rougned Odor, then shortly afterwards, allowed Carlos Gomez to murder one of his pitches and...