go Page 374 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Christian Bethancourt's Season Debut Didn't Go So Well
San Diego Padres catcher Christian Bethancourt made his first pitching appearance of the season today, when he came on in relief with his team trailing the Dodgers 7-1 in the fourth inning. Things went poorly. ...
I'm So Glad Gonzaga Fouled With A Three-Point Lead
Thank you, Gonzaga. It was as if you read my angst-riddled mind on Saturday night....
NHL Announces It Won't Participate In 2018 Olympics
The biggest event on hockey’s international calendar, and one of the biggest events of every winter games, will not happen next year. The news disappoints players, who want to play, and fans, who want them to play. But it makes owners happy! The NHL will not participate in the 2018 Winter Olympics i...
Blackhawks Player Earns Pathetic Assist<em></em>
During Sunday’s 3-2 loss to the Bruins, Blackhawks winger Richard Panik found himself in a terrible place on the ice: in his opponents’ goal, facing his teammate’s shot. After sliding into the net, all Panik could do was preserve himself as Artemi Panarin did his best to not squander the opportunity...
Wizards Mad Because, Mew Mew Mew, The Warriors Kicked Their Asses Too Hard
God, this is so fucking embarrassing....
The Padres Are Barely A Major League Team
It’s opening day! That glorious day, gravid with promise, when every team is in first place and fans around the country can believe, if just for a little while, that their team has what it takes to go all the way. Except for Padres fans. All hope is lost. I’m sorry....
Javier Baez Blames Stadium Ad For Missed Grounder
It’s strange to see Cubs super utility man Javier Baez looking uncomfortable on the field, but that’s exactly what happened in the bottom of the third inning of last night’s game between the Cubs and Cardinals....
TV Viewer Snitches On Lexi Thompson, Costs Her A Major
It should’ve been a runaway victory for Lexi Thompson, and it would’ve been if not for one tattletale viewer and some truly unfair rules. Thompson had a significant lead in the final round of the ANA Inspiration, the first LPGA major of the year, when a viewer wrote in to alert officials to a violat...
Jordan Bell: "This Is Going To Hurt Forever"
Any March Madness game decided in the final seconds is going to bring reactions of equal strength but opposite emotion, with one on the losing side that’s often hard to watch. Last week, it was De’Aaron Fox of Kentucky, and last night, it was Jordan Bell of Oregon....
Christian Bethancourt Has Officially Made The Padres' Roster As A Two-Way Playing Experiment
Ten months after Christian Bethancourt notched two outs in a blowout for his first big-league pitching appearance, the San Diego Padres catcher is officially getting his chance to make it as a two-way player. After spending his offseason focusing on his pitching, he was included on the roster announ...
Here's The Only Member Of The Vegas Golden Knights Playing Soccer Alone In An Empty Arena
The Vegas Golden Knights will participate in an expansion draft in June in order to begin their first-ever NHL season this October. But they didn’t wait until the draft to begin acquiring players—three weeks ago, they signed 21-year-old Reid Duke on an entry-level deal out of the Western Hockey Leag...
Draymond Green Tries To Explain Foul Of James Harden: "He Pinched Me, So I Punched His Wrist"
And now for another entry in the Draymond Green book of natural acts, after a third-quarter squabble with James Harden last night: ...
Broken Tiger Woods To Miss Masters
Tiger Woods announced in December he was returning to golf, but his broken, fucked-up body won’t allow it—as Woods announced on his website today that he’ll miss the Masters for the third time in four years....
Canadian Skaters Thrive As Others Struggle At Figure Skating World Championships
Life in Canada is good. Not only do our neighbors to the north have access to runaway plows and ample supplies of maple syrup, but at this year’s world figure skating championships, their two female skaters claimed spots on the medal podium, placing second and third behind predicted winner Evgenia M...
My Offer For The Stonyfield Yogurt Company
TO: The Board of Directors of the Stonyfield Yogurt Company. ...
José Quintana Still On White Sox
Ace pitcher José Quintana, still a member of the Chicago White Sox, is scheduled to pitch Monday’s home opener against the Detroit Tigers. ...
Everybody Hits The Deck As Bees Swarm Spring Training Game
The above is a snapshot from today’s spring training matchup between the Rockies and the Padres. What, pray tell, is going on here? A terrible game of hide and seek? A few guys choosing a weird time to practice their “stop, drop and roll” skills? Nope. Just a good old-fashioned swarm of bees:...
DeMarcus Cousins Has Fun Fielding Questions About Getting To Play The Kings<em></em>
For the first time in his NBA career, DeMarcus Cousins will play against the Sacramento Kings tomorrow night. He spoke with reporters and seems set on the belief that the Pelicans will come out, play hard, and try to get a win....
At Angola, Death Row Is Psychological Torture
Louisiana’s Angola prison is known as one of America’s harshest state prisons. But conditions for its death row inmates, isolated from almost all human contact, are particularly horrific. A new lawsuit says they amount to psychological torture. ...
The Warriors Are Alright
The turning point, it now seems, was the fourth quarter against the 76ers. After a brutal road trip and their worst stretch of basketball in three years, the Warriors returned home only to find themselves down 12 against the lowly 76ers on March 13. Kevin Durant was out with a knee injury, Steph Cur...