go Page 385 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Annual Reminder That Jim Nantz Is A Deeply Strange Breed Of Jackass
It’s Masters Week, which means that it’s time again to school you in the strange ways of CBS announcer, burnt-toast enthusiast, and general glass-of-skim-milk-made-into-a-person Jim Nantz. Rick Maese of the Washington Post did an excellent deep dive on Nantz this week and it’s filled with all kinds ...
Dustin Johnson Questionable For Masters After Supposedly Falling Down The Stairs
Dustin Johnson, reigning U.S. Open champion and current No. 1-ranked golfer in the world, might have to miss this weekend’s tournament after he suffered a back injury at his rental home in Augusta, Ga....
Report: White Sox Near Deal With Mike Pelfrey
According to a report from Jon Heyman of Fanrag Sports, the Chicago White Sox are about to bolster their pitching staff with the addition of 11-year major-league veteran Mike Pelfrey:...
Lionel Messi And Luis Suárez Are Extremely Good At Soccer
Barcelona and Sevilla, respectively the second- and fourth-placed teams in La Liga, are midway through what on paper should’ve been a tense, tough match. Only one of those teams has Lionel Messi and Luis Suárez, so it’s already a blowout thanks to those the genius of those two....
Penguins Fan Flips Very Solid Double-Bird
The Penguins beat the Blue Jackets 4-1 yesterday, and the best performance of the night belonged not to anyone on the ice, but to this spectator:...
This Steph Curry Sequence Was Ridiculous, Even For Him
Steph Curry is at it again, right in time for Kevin Durant’s looming return and the Warriors’ forthcoming playoff run. In just over a minute, the Warriors scored 11 points, all of which were either scored or assisted by Curry. He nailed a pair of threes, assisted Klay Thompson for another three, the...
Some NFL Owners Think Roger Goodell Is Making Too Much Money
NFL owners don’t just look for ways to squeeze players and municipalities when it comes to finances: The league is reportedly getting ready to play hardball with frontman Roger Goodell, too....
Magic Forced To Reassure Aaron Gordon Over Dumb, Embarrassing Whiteboard Trade Idea
What do you suppose Orlando Magic head coach Frank Vogel and, uh, star(?) forward Aaron Gordon talked about today, at their meeting—reported by the Orlando Sentinel’s Josh Robbins—about the sudden viral-photo-sparked rumor that the organization might be hoping to trade Gordon for Philadelphia 76ers ...
Adorable Beagle Declares Self Lord Of The Soccer Pitch, All Must Swear Allegiance
Those clowns at The Guardian put a video on YouTube that shows a very good beagle running onto the field during a Northern Premier League match and interrupting the action for over seven minutes. The creator of the video, perhaps believing nobody wants to watch a dog prance around a soccer field for...
This Is What Happens When Your Home Opener Gets Rescheduled<em></em>
Dozens of fans packed the White Sox stadium Tuesday to watch their team’s season opener against the Detroit Tigers, their division rivals. ...
What Year Is It?
What the hell is going on, here? I thought the show about the guys breaking out of prison ended like eight years ago. Now I am seeing commercials that are all like This Tuesday ... [grim men looking at each other through chain-link fence] ... on Fox ... [sooty-faced men being serious] ... you can ne...
The Referees Didn't Want You To Have Any Fun Last Night
Everyone expects to see a certain number of lifeless offensive possessions and back-rimmed jumpers in any college basketball game, basically for the same reason you don’t expect to see the most crisply-turned double plays at a minor league ballgame, and it’s really not surprising to see more of thos...
North Carolina Takes Down Gonzaga To Win Sixth National Championship
After 40 tense, often ugly minutes of basketball, North Carolina defeated Gonzaga, 71-65, to win another national championship, their first since 2009. The game featured 44 fouls, a combined field goal percentage of 34.8, and a series of inexplicable late referee interventions. At one point, Gonzaga...
White Sox Fail To Play Opening Day Game
The Chicago White Sox, who were set to send ace pitcher José Quintana to the mound against the Detroit Tigers and their ace pitcher Justin Verlander today, failed to play, as the game was rained out....
Carlos Gomez Smacks Mammoth Dinger
The Cleveland Indians, last seen ceding a 3-1 World Series lead to the Cubs, are back at it this evening and things are not going well thus far. Corey Kluber gave up a second-inning dinger to new horse owner Rougned Odor, then shortly afterwards, allowed Carlos Gomez to murder one of his pitches and...
Christian Bethancourt's Season Debut Didn't Go So Well
San Diego Padres catcher Christian Bethancourt made his first pitching appearance of the season today, when he came on in relief with his team trailing the Dodgers 7-1 in the fourth inning. Things went poorly. ...
I'm So Glad Gonzaga Fouled With A Three-Point Lead
Thank you, Gonzaga. It was as if you read my angst-riddled mind on Saturday night....
NHL Announces It Won't Participate In 2018 Olympics
The biggest event on hockey’s international calendar, and one of the biggest events of every winter games, will not happen next year. The news disappoints players, who want to play, and fans, who want them to play. But it makes owners happy! The NHL will not participate in the 2018 Winter Olympics i...
Blackhawks Player Earns Pathetic Assist<em></em>
During Sunday’s 3-2 loss to the Bruins, Blackhawks winger Richard Panik found himself in a terrible place on the ice: in his opponents’ goal, facing his teammate’s shot. After sliding into the net, all Panik could do was preserve himself as Artemi Panarin did his best to not squander the opportunity...
Wizards Mad Because, Mew Mew Mew, The Warriors Kicked Their Asses Too Hard
God, this is so fucking embarrassing....