go Page 386 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Padres Are Barely A Major League Team
It’s opening day! That glorious day, gravid with promise, when every team is in first place and fans around the country can believe, if just for a little while, that their team has what it takes to go all the way. Except for Padres fans. All hope is lost. I’m sorry....
Javier Baez Blames Stadium Ad For Missed Grounder
It’s strange to see Cubs super utility man Javier Baez looking uncomfortable on the field, but that’s exactly what happened in the bottom of the third inning of last night’s game between the Cubs and Cardinals....
TV Viewer Snitches On Lexi Thompson, Costs Her A Major
It should’ve been a runaway victory for Lexi Thompson, and it would’ve been if not for one tattletale viewer and some truly unfair rules. Thompson had a significant lead in the final round of the ANA Inspiration, the first LPGA major of the year, when a viewer wrote in to alert officials to a violat...
Jordan Bell: "This Is Going To Hurt Forever"
Any March Madness game decided in the final seconds is going to bring reactions of equal strength but opposite emotion, with one on the losing side that’s often hard to watch. Last week, it was De’Aaron Fox of Kentucky, and last night, it was Jordan Bell of Oregon....
Christian Bethancourt Has Officially Made The Padres' Roster As A Two-Way Playing Experiment
Ten months after Christian Bethancourt notched two outs in a blowout for his first big-league pitching appearance, the San Diego Padres catcher is officially getting his chance to make it as a two-way player. After spending his offseason focusing on his pitching, he was included on the roster announ...
Here's The Only Member Of The Vegas Golden Knights Playing Soccer Alone In An Empty Arena
The Vegas Golden Knights will participate in an expansion draft in June in order to begin their first-ever NHL season this October. But they didn’t wait until the draft to begin acquiring players—three weeks ago, they signed 21-year-old Reid Duke on an entry-level deal out of the Western Hockey Leag...
Draymond Green Tries To Explain Foul Of James Harden: "He Pinched Me, So I Punched His Wrist"
And now for another entry in the Draymond Green book of natural acts, after a third-quarter squabble with James Harden last night: ...
Broken Tiger Woods To Miss Masters
Tiger Woods announced in December he was returning to golf, but his broken, fucked-up body won’t allow it—as Woods announced on his website today that he’ll miss the Masters for the third time in four years....
Canadian Skaters Thrive As Others Struggle At Figure Skating World Championships
Life in Canada is good. Not only do our neighbors to the north have access to runaway plows and ample supplies of maple syrup, but at this year’s world figure skating championships, their two female skaters claimed spots on the medal podium, placing second and third behind predicted winner Evgenia M...
My Offer For The Stonyfield Yogurt Company
TO: The Board of Directors of the Stonyfield Yogurt Company. ...
José Quintana Still On White Sox
Ace pitcher José Quintana, still a member of the Chicago White Sox, is scheduled to pitch Monday’s home opener against the Detroit Tigers. ...
Everybody Hits The Deck As Bees Swarm Spring Training Game
The above is a snapshot from today’s spring training matchup between the Rockies and the Padres. What, pray tell, is going on here? A terrible game of hide and seek? A few guys choosing a weird time to practice their “stop, drop and roll” skills? Nope. Just a good old-fashioned swarm of bees:...
DeMarcus Cousins Has Fun Fielding Questions About Getting To Play The Kings<em></em>
For the first time in his NBA career, DeMarcus Cousins will play against the Sacramento Kings tomorrow night. He spoke with reporters and seems set on the belief that the Pelicans will come out, play hard, and try to get a win....
At Angola, Death Row Is Psychological Torture
Louisiana’s Angola prison is known as one of America’s harshest state prisons. But conditions for its death row inmates, isolated from almost all human contact, are particularly horrific. A new lawsuit says they amount to psychological torture. ...
The Warriors Are Alright
The turning point, it now seems, was the fourth quarter against the 76ers. After a brutal road trip and their worst stretch of basketball in three years, the Warriors returned home only to find themselves down 12 against the lowly 76ers on March 13. Kevin Durant was out with a knee injury, Steph Cur...
Reporter Embarrasses Himself And America At Bastian Schweinsteiger Press Conference
As an American soccer fan, this video of an oblivious reporter quite confidently asking Bastian Schweinsteiger, new to MLS’s Chicago Fire, whether Chicago can be expected to win the goddamn World Cup is almost too painful to sit through....
Golden Knights Owner Wishes Las Vegas Didn't Spend $750 Million On The Raiders
It is very NHL to be pioneers in opening up Las Vegas to pro sports, and then to become second-class citizens in their own market before a puck is dropped. But that’s what happened this week when the NFL approved the Raiders’ relocation to Vegas, where they figure to be the hottest ticket in town. V...
Oakland Taxpayers Will Still Be On The Hook For $163 Million After The Raiders And Warriors Leave<em></em><em></em><em></em>
When the city of Oakland brought the Raiders back from Los Angeles in 1995, then-mayor Elihu Harris enticed Al Davis with $200 million in improvements to the Oakland Coliseum. The city paid for the construction with taxpayer-backed bonds, and their initial plan was to pay off the bond by selling per...
Roger Goodell Is Finally Going Back To Foxborough
The last time that Roger Goodell attended a Patriots home game was New England’s 2015 AFC Championship Game victory over the Colts, which has since gone down in infamy as the fateful night that kicked off the never-ending Ballghazi scandal. A quick recap: After discovering that the Patriots may hav...
Alexis Sánchez Steps Up And Bashes In A Perfect Free Kick
Chile need to beat Venezuela today to keep pace in CONMEBOL’s final 2018 World Cup qualifying round and they got off to a perfect start this afternoon, scoring three times in the first 22 minutes. Alexis Sánchez hadn’t had a great weekend leading up to the game (he got popped for a speeding ticket) ...