go Page 387 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Good News: The NFL Has More Rules
As everyone knows, the best part of the NFL season is when the league gets the chance to add rules and bylaws to an already-impenetrable rulebook. One of the new additions is a ban on players jumping over linemen to block field goal kicks....
What To Do When An Old Friend Wants You To Join A Pyramid Scheme
Have you ever gotten a weird phone call from your home area code? Or maybe someone you used to know randomly invites you over to dinner, mentioning something about a business opportunity. These are sure signs that someone is trying get you involved in a pyramid scheme, and that’s bad, because pyrami...
White Sox, Continuing Rebuilding Effort, Trade Peter Bourjos<em></em>
It’s no secret that the Chicago White Sox are more focused on the future than the present, and so it’s no surprise that the battle for their center field job—one of spring’s major storylines—has ended with veteran Peter Bourjos moving on to a team that hopes to contend. The Tampa Bay Times’ Marc Top...
Paul Heyman Says Kaddish In Preparation For Goldberg's Death At Brock Lesnar's Hands
Paul Heyman’s WWE Raw appearances remain the best reason to tune into pro wrestling on Monday nights, and the longtime Brock Lesnar valet tonight previewed a presumed imminent death for rival Goldberg at Sunday’s Wrestlemania by saying Kaddish....
Fearless Goalkeeper Stares Down Four-On-One Attack, Comes Up With Heroic Save
Argentine club Belgrano’s keeper probably should’ve been terrified with four River Plate players bearing down on him with no help in sight, but instead he went all “NAH FUCK THAT” and stood up brave and tall and psyched out the attackers, somehow saving a goal and earning the glory. ...
White Sox Catcher Omar Narvaez Is One To Keep An Eye On
The Chicago White Sox’s catching situation has been a bit unsettled this spring. Four different backstops, ranging from non-roster invitee Roberto Peña to non-roster invitee and 12-year major-league veteran Geovany Soto, have between 20 and 30 at-bats for the South Siders—and that’s not even countin...
Jim Harbaugh Is Passionate About Securing Legal Representation For Those In Need
Khaki king Jim Harbaugh is fed up with low-income Americans increasingly not having access to quality legal aid, and he’s attacking the issue with his typical level of enthusiasm. ...
Two NFL Players Arrested After Altercation At Iowa Bar
NFL players Deiondre’ Hall and Makinton Dorleant, who both played football at Northern Iowa, were arrested early Sunday morning in connection with a bar fight in Cedar Falls, Iowa....
Good Dog Plays Fetch On Ice Rink
Here we have video of a very good dog playing fetch on the Washington Capitals’ ice rink, and it’s more entertaining than any hockey game I’ve ever seen:...
Roger Goodell To City Of Oakland: Once Again, Fuck You
With NFL owners set to vote this week on the Raiders’ relocation to Las Vegas, Roger Goodell has sent one more it’s over message to the city of Oakland. Though the move is reportedly all but officially a done deal, the city presented one final plan to keep the team this week, with a proposal for a $...
White Sox Pitcher Carlos Rodon Likely To Begin Season On Disabled List
The “odds are” that Carlos Rodon will start the year on the disabled list, White Sox general manager Rick Hahn told reporters yesterday....
Deuce Magic
The U.S. is currently beating Honduras 6-0 in a World Cup qualifier, and half of the goals belong to Clint Dempsey. Here’s his hat trick-clincher—and we don’t mean to slight any of the other goals, many of which were absolutely marvelous and involved Pulisic—but this is a free kick that was absolute...
Roll, Panda! Roll!
Make way for the little panda! He’s got rolls to do!...
In Defense Of Skyline Chili, The Good Kind Of Diarrhea Sludge<em></em>
“You really want the green noodles?” asked the seemingly amazed young man taking my order....
Gonzaga's Jordan Mathews Once Hooped It Up On <i>Teletubbies</i>
Before Jordan Mathews was a basketball player on Gonzaga, he was a slightly smaller basketball player on the children’s show Teletubbies. There he is, practicing with his dad Phil, former coach of the San Francisco Dons and current coach of Riverside City College. Jordan’s shooting percentage wasn’t...
"Footy McFooty Face" Leads Fan Vote For San Diego's Potential MLS Team Name
It’s pretty easy to come up with the kind of barfy, ahistorical team names MLS franchises love to pick, so kudos to the ownership group trying to invent a soccer team in San Diego and buy its way into the league for crowdsourcing a little more imagination. Though maybe “Footy McFooty Face” wasn’t qu...
White Sox Prospect Yoan Moncada Eats Up To 85 Twinkies A Week
Twenty-one-year-old second baseman Yoan Moncada of the Chicago White Sox—the key player in a major trade the Pale Hose made last year that sent ace pitcher Chris Sale to the Boston Red Sox—is widely regarded as the best prospect in baseball. At 6-foot-2, 205 pounds, he’s a switch-hitter with a lineb...
Taking "Lack Of Context" To Terrifying New Extremes
“Context.” What does it mean? Do we really need it? Is it possible to write an entire, outraged newspaper column without any context at all?...
Gonzaga's Jordan Mathews Hit A Hero Three And WVU Responded By Crapping Themselves
Gonzaga beat West Virginia tonight, 61-58, to advance to the Elite Eight, thanks to a clutch three-pointer from Jordan Mathews and several duds from WVU’s Jevon Carter on the other end....
Bears Sign Mark Sanchez, For Some Reason
Former Jets and Eagles quarterback Mark Sanchez is back, baby. The Chicago Bears added Sanchez to their dogpile at quarterback and signed him to a one-year deal tonight, per a report from Ian Rapoport which was later confirmed by Adam Schefter....