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Jose Abreu Makes His Big-League Splash With Two Homers
It didn't take long for Yasiel Puig and Yoenis Cespedes to go from being Cuban defectors shrouded in mystery to household names. Based on what he did last night, it looks like White Sox first baseman Jose Abreu, the latest Cuban-born star to arrive in the majors, is on a similar path to stardom....

Ashley Wagner's Still Got It
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Lil B's New Video For "Gotta Make The NBA" May Be His Rarest One Yet
Man, the Based God just doesn't stop innovating. "Gotta Make The NBA," off of the upcoming Hoop Life mixtape that so far has given us such instant classics as "Fuck KD," sees Lil B making his most directly narrative song and video in his illustrious career....

Hey Look, It's Kevin Ollie Going Super Saiyan
UConn won the NCAA men's basketball tournament last night, and coach Kevin Ollie made a cool face. Here's what it would have looked like if he was going Super Saiyan 3 instead. ...

Here Is A Cubs Mascot Punching A Dude For Taking His Head Off
This is not the degenerate Cubs mascot whose pantsless existence we've all come to know and struggle to comprehend. This is just some bootleg, pantsless, degenerate Cubs mascot who does not enjoy it at all when people remove his head. ...

The Warriors Get Rid Of Another Assistant Coach
Something is going on with the Golden State Warriors. On March 24, Brian Scalabrine was demoted from assistant coach with the Warriors to a position with Golden State's D-League affiliate. Today, the Warriors have fired assistant Darren Erman after meeting with "key team officials." GM Bob Myers sai...

University Hires, Fires SID After Failing To Google Him
Yesterday afternoon, the University of Great Falls (Mont.) hired and fired a new sports information director in the span of two hours., after it was reported that he has a past criminal conviction. The background check UGF ran on Todd Brittingham did not reveal his criminal history. The university c...

LPGA Golfers Miffed At Paulina Gretzky's <em>Golf Digest</em> Cover
Paulina Gretzky, Wayne Gretzky's daughter, was the cover model for the May issue of Golf Digest. A few female pro golfers are annoyed about it....

Even When The Cubs Win, They Lose
The Chicago Cubs salvaged a win in their opening series against the Pirates with a rain-soaked 3-2 victory at PNC Park today, but it wasn't without some embarrassment. A botched bunt by Gaby Sanchez left pitcher Pedro Strop and catcher John Baker in what we might call a compromising situation....

White Sox Games Are Eerily Empty
Baseball is not dying. The White Sox should not be contracted. It is April, and it is cold and gray and wet in Chicago, and normal people are at work or in school. There are many more reasons not to be at U.S. Cellular Field than there are to be there, but my goodness: That is an empty ballpark....

Here's LaMichael James Looking Terrified On A Roller Coaster
Don't know a damned thing about the story behind this photo, other than that it's 49ers running back LaMichael James, back in his Oregon days, being brought nearly to tears by a theme park ride. It was not the only time a roller coaster would do a number on James....

The Cubs Aren't Even Bothering With Matching Uniforms Anymore
Either Junior Lake is not very attentive when getting dressed, or the Cubs' uniform budget is running a little thin. ...

Marcin Gortat Hangs Out With The Celtics In Their Huddle
Hey, get out of there, Marcin Gortat! That's not your team. Maybe he just really likes huddles....

At Least The Tiger Woods Bullshit Machine Is As Healthy As Ever
So Tiger Woods backed out of the Masters this week after having a microdiscectomy operation on his spine. And, in accordance with how Tiger Woods conducts business, a gangbang of faceless agents and marketers came together on his behalf and posted a formal statement on his website about the withdra...

Steph Curry Did Something Ridiculous Last Night
Steph Curry does ridiculous things all the time, but it feels like it's been a while since we've had vintage Curry highlight to drool over. So click play on the video above, and get to drooling....


Watch The Stunning Champions League Strike That Put Atléti Up On Barça
Barcelona welcomed Atlético Madrid to the Camp Nou today in what is becoming a regular rivalry of increasingly large stakes. It was a Champions League matchup this time, as tense and cagey as you'd expect—that is, until Diego decided he'd had enough and straight flattened a ball into the net from ab...


I Bandwagoned The <i>How I Met Your Mother</i> Finale, Which Sucked
I have a nasty habit of jumping into popular TV shows at the last moment to siphon off a bit of counterfeit emotional payoff without putting in the years and years of tedious buildup. I did this with Lost (not bad!). I did this with Breaking Bad (I REGRET NOTHING). And last night I did it with Ho...