go Page 565 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jay Cutler Just Got Himself A Big Contract
The Chicago Bears, via the press conference's answer to War and Peace, announced this morning that Jay Cutler has signed a seven-year extension with the team. The exact details of the contract aren't yet known, ESPN's Adam Schefter reports that it will eclipse an average of $17.6 million per year an...
"David Lee, Bodied By Big Dick Baby"
I'm trying real hard to come up with possible words Bob Fitzgerald, the Warriors play-by-play man for CSN Bay Area, could have said instead of "Big Dick Baby" and I'm coming up short. ...
Steelers Fan Celebrates Playoff Berth Too Soon; Everyone Laughs At him
The best moment in sports fandom is rubbing your team's victory in the face of your rivals. The worst moment is rubbing your team's presumed victory in the face of your rivals, right before your team loses....
The Science Of Hangovers: Causes, Cures, And Prevention
There's a good chance you're going to have a couple too many drinks tonight. And that means you're going to spend tomorrow, National Hangover Day, in bed, miserable, praying to a god who won't answer for a death that won't come. Here's Dr. Matt McCarthy on the science of hangovers, and with a few t...
Nobody Wants Andrew Bynum To Play Basketball
Want to know far has Andrew Bynum's star fallen? Look no further than this report from ESPN's Brian Windhorst and Ramona Shelburne, detailing a few trade rumours that Bynum's name has popped up in. Bynum for Pau Gasol! Bynum for Luol Deng! These seem like big-time trades, until you understand exactl...
Southern Wins By 104 Points. How Did This Basketball Sham Even Happen?
Southern University defeated Champion Baptist College last night in Baton Rouge by the pedestrian score of 116-12. It could have been worse; the Jaguars led the Tigers 44-0 until CBC made a free throw with 5:10 remaining in the first half. The entire thing was a farce, but according to the NCAA it's...
A Full-Speed Marcus Mariota Makes Oregon Look Like Oregon Again
The Oregon Ducks' 30-7 trouncing of Texas in the Alamo Bowl tonight was no real surprise, given that Vegas pegged the Longhorns as two-touchdown dogs, and that Marcus Mariota is back, iffy knee and all. Mariota finished 18 of 26 for 253 yards and 133 yards rushing, his best overall game since before...
Wisconsin Football Celebrates Packers Win, Except For One Sad Bears Fan
Players from Wisconsin's football team watched the Packers-Bears game from their hotel in Orlando as they prep for the Capital One Bowl. When Randall Cobb caught the game-winning touchdown for Green Bay, most of them celebrated. Most of them. The Bears fan in the Matt Forte jersey was so, so unhappy...
Defeated Brandon Marshall Is Defeated
[Packers cornerback Tramon Williams tries to talk to Brandon Marshall, who's fine with a face full of Soldier Field grass. Sam Shields had just picked off Jay Cutler to end the game, and the Bears' season. Photo by Charles Rex Arbogast/AP]...
Aaron Rodgers And Randall Cobb Put The Packers Into The Playoffs
It seems appropriate that the Packers' game-winning score was a connection from two of their players returning from injury. In a win-and-in Week 17 game against the Bears, Aaron Rodgers found a wide-open Randall Cobb on fourth down to take a 33-28 lead that ended up as the final score, putting Green...
Packers Score Bizarre Touchdown On Play Everybody Thought Was Dead
Aaron Rodgers and Jarrett Boykin inadvertently teamed up for an odd, delayed touchdown to give the Packers a 10-37 lead....
This Is A Horseshit Unnecessary Roughness Call
Had you any doubt the NFL would protect its priceless and fragile artifact Aaron Rodgers, here's something for you. The Bears' Shea McClellin earned an unnecessary roughness penalty for being subject to Newton's laws....
Devils' Travis Zajac Sacrifices Body For Painful Game-Winning Goal
NHL claims that the puck deflected off of Travis Zajac's face for the goal in the video title, but it looks more like his chest. The replay angle doesn't confirm anything. Both possibilities are painful, though....
Marquette's Deonte Burton Ruined Someone With A Dunk
Deonte Burton—of Marquette, not Nevada—absolutely wrecked Samford's Emeka Ikezu on this slam from yesterday's game. Watching it from the floor is delightful....
Girls' Basketball Game Turns Ugly With Some Help From Skylar Diggins
Things got chippy last night at a high school basketball game where Skylar Diggins, the former Notre Dame star now playing for the WNBA's Tulsa Shock, was in attendance to have her jersey retired. One player punched another in the face and got ejected, all while Diggins sniped at her former team's o...
A Completely Out-Of-Context Interview With Brian Urlacher
There's a perfectly good reason why Brian Urlacher is dressed the way he is, talking about the Bears-Packers game for all the marbles tomorrow, but it's more fun to pretend he turned into the Scarlet Pimpernel upon retiring. ...
Dad Gets Bears-Fan Daughter A Packers Jersey For Christmas
Man, parents can be real assholes sometimes. ...
How The Eagles' "Predator" Defense Saved Philadelphia's Season
First Chip Kelly was going to outrun the NFL. Then, after a 1-3 start, Chip Kelly was overwhelmed by the NFL. Now, with the Eagles a win away from being in the playoffs in Kelly's first season as coach, Kelly is a genius again. Funny how that works. ...