go Page 597 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Comcast SportsNet's White Sox Intro Video Is One Of The Worst Things Ever Put On Television And Possibly Harmful To Your Health

Most discerning baseball fans go out of their way to avoid local broadcasts of the Chicago White Sox. After all, that's where you find Ken “Hawk” Harrelson, and to voluntarily listen to Hawk is to willingly subject yourself to the threat of severe brain damage. Seriously, you'd be better off huffing...

This Kid's Poem About Nate Robinson Is Actually Kind of Beautiful

So this is kind of amazing. The poem, 'Kryptonite,' was written by student Jason Nordbrock about Nate Robinson, and is now making its rounds online. Admittedly, we thought he could've chosen another player more deserving of his affection, but the poem itself is a joy to behold. It starts slowly, but...

Here Is A Professional Golfer Hitting A Chip Shot While Pants-Less

Andreas Hartø is a Danish golfer with three wins (one, his first, as an amateur) on the European Challenge Tour, which is a lower-tier golf tour run by the PGA Europe Tour....

Arsalan Kazemi, Oregon's Iranian-Born Glue Guy, Was Subjected To A Whole Lot Of Racism In His Time As A Student-Athlete

Arsalan Kazemi was Oregon's hustling forward and best rebounder this season, averaging nearly a double-double and shooting almost 60%. He was also, according to USA Today, "the first Iranian to recieve a scholarship to play Division I basketball," and boy, did he hear about it. ...

Your Marquette-Syracuse Open Thread [UPDATE: Now it's a Wichita State-Ohio State Open Thread]

If you're watching at home, feel free to participate however you want—we put a big yelling Baye Keita Cleanthony Early picture up there in case you'd rather annotate something, or just yak about whatever in the discussion—and enjoy this last and pleasantly coincidental gasp of the Big East as we kn...

Oregon Bandie: Forever Alone

Roundup: Your Best Sad Jason Dufner Photoshop Contest Submissions

The Sad Jason Dufner Photoshop contest did not disappoint. It was almost impossible to pick a winner, so be sure to check out all of the submissions here. On to the roundup:...

The Eight Most Groan-Worthy Lines In <em>GI Joe: Retaliation</em>

GI Joe: Retaliation is pretty bad. You don't need me to tell you that. It's not completely horrible: There's a cool sequence involving ninjas fighting each other during an avalanche, one special effects scene has London blowing up real awesome-like, and The Rock continues to be the one consistent ac...

Dufnering Is Now A Thing, Thanks To A Gaggle Of Silly Pro Golfers

Yesterday we posted a photo of golfer Jason Dufner visiting a community center and looking supremely downtrodden. Today, golfers all across the land are razzing Dufner, who's been chipper enough about the whole thing, by mimicking his pose. Dufnering! It's a thing! Bubba Watson, who Dufnered in the ...

Doug Gottlieb Says He's On CBS's Pregame Show To Bring The "White Man's Perspective" [UPDATE: Gottlieb Apologizes]

Wow. That sure was awkward....

Westboro Baptist Will Picket The Final Four

Westboro Baptist, that group of awful people with colorful signs who are really concerned about who you're having sex with, have announced on the "Picket Schedule" section of their website that they'll be heading to Atlanta for next weekend's Final Four. ...

Photoshop Contest: Sad Jason Dufner

Sad Jason Dufner being sad in a classroom full of children is our favorite thing about today. We can't stop staring at his mopey face and giggling to ourselves. Naturally, we decided that this picture calls for another Photoshop contest. Here's your cut-out:...

This Is The WNBA's New Logo

ESPN and the WNBA today signed a six-year extension to their existing agreement—bounce-passes on the WWL until 2022! The league also rolled out some cool new branding, featuring a lady tripping over four letter blocks....

Golfer Jason Dufner Appears To Be Having A Lot Of Fun Visiting These Kids In Dallas

Jason Dufner won the 2012 Byron Nelson Championship in Irving, Texas, and today he was back in the area, in Dallas, for the kick-off luncheon for the 2013 event. And, from the looks of it, he had a blast....

Miami Heat Win Streak Is Over At 27 Games

The Miami heat failed to win a game for the first time since a February 1 loss against the Pacers. The next Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday, the Heat beat the Toronto Raptors 100-85 and kept on winning until tonight. ...

Brian Urlacher's Brother Is Running For Mayor Of A Chicago Suburb

Reader Rory sends in the picture above of a Casey-Urlacher-for-Mayor-of-Mettawa sign taken on Mettawa's more successful hay farm. Aside from being the home of Casey Urlacher's political dreams, Mettawa is also the home of his older brother Brian's former team. ...

An Epic That Stumbles. <em>The Place Beyond The Pines</em>, Reviewed.

Director Derek Cianfrance's last film, Blue Valentine, was a crushing study of a couple (played by Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams) falling apart. It was beautifully made and well acted—I loved it—but the rawness of the emotions and the ambition of the structure (cycling between the present and t...

The Dolphins confirm that the logo that's leaked out over the past days and weeks is, indeed, official. No more helmet over the blowhole—he can breathe again! ...

Paterno Apologist Reveals Identity Of One Of Jerry Sandusky's Victims, Says He Was Hacked [UPDATED]

We told you yesterday about filmmaker John Ziegler's lunatic shouting tour to promote his jailhouse interview with Jerry Sandusky. Ziegler had hoped to use that interview to help rescue Joe Paterno and other Penn State officials from allegations that they covered up Jerry Sandusky's sex crimes again...

Mr. T Scored From Center Ice, And It Might've Been The Greatest Moment In Hockey History

For the second straight Blackhawks game, a Chicago-native celebrity tried his hand at the "Shoot the Puck" intermission contest. But while Monday brought a rambling, possibly drunk Jim Belushi, last night saw a no-nonsense Mr. T show the puck and the United Center who's still the boss....