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Troy Aikman Calls Dallas Fans A Bunch Of Bandwagoners
When Brandon Marshall called Chicago's win over the Cowboys two weeks ago—at Cowboys Stadium—a "home game", he wasn't kidding. The Bears jumped out to an early lead, never looked back, and received an increasing percentage of the cheers as the game went on....

You Can Own A Jar Containing The Ghost Of Bobby Jones For The Low Price Of $1,000
Reader Ben sends us some exciting news. Not only is legendary golfer Bobby Jones currently existing in our world as a benevolent spirit, he is also living comfortably in a glass jar. A glass jar that you can buy on eBay! The starting bid is listed at $500, or the jar can be bought outright for $1,0...

Former NFL, Television, And Movie Star Alex Karras Is Dead
Alex Karras, whose career with the Detroit Lions would come to be overshadowed by his starring roles in film and on TV's Webster, is dead today at the age of 77 after suffering kidney failure....

What The Best Pitcher In Baseball Taught Me About Prep School, Socrates, And The Art Of Not Selling Out
At my old high school, Montgomery Bell Academy in Nashville, there is a large multi-purpose hall with high ceilings. The hall features large hanging glass panels that extend nearly from the ceiling to the floor, engraved with famous quotations and the image of the speaker. I remember two of the pane...

Roger Goodell Reinstates Saints Bounty Program Suspensions, Writes Prickish Letters To Those Involved
Roger Goodell, having tripped all over his dick as regards the Saints' bounty program, is back to swinging the stupid thing in our faces again. Today, he reinstated the suspensions of all four players, although three of them were given more lenient punishment this time around. Scott Fujita's suspen...

Ben Affleck's Only Weakness As A Director: Casting Ben Affleck. <em>Argo</em>, Reviewed.
1. Argo is such a terrific, jaw-dropping true-life tale, with such a natural, seamless movie storyline, that anyone who knows the story would beg the filmmakers not to screw it up. So it's a relief that they absolutely do not do that. There are so many tones to juggle here; this is a film that veers...

Tiger Woods Apologized For Singlehandedly Losing The Ryder Cup
Despite the hyperbolic headline, Woods has come in for surprisingly little heat after a Ryder Cup the U.S. lost by one point, in which he went 0-3-1. Maybe it's because the outcome was decided before Tiger stepped up to the 18th tee on Sunday, maybe it's because there's plenty of blame to go around,...
![The Air-Humping Chicago Bears Assistant Coach Is Really Gross [UPDATE: The Air-Humper Has Been Identified]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
The Air-Humping Chicago Bears Assistant Coach Is Really Gross [UPDATE: The Air-Humper Has Been Identified]
Gross. That is really gross, dude. You're way too old to be doing stuff like this. I'm sure the "Hey loogit me y'all, I'm humpin' air. Hee haw!" routine used to be really funny back in your college days, but you're a grown-up now; a grown-up who should know that air-humping—especially while using ...

Cris Collinsworth Knows More About What's Going On With The San Diego Chargers Than Norv Turner
Cris Collinsworth predicted exactly how this game would end after noticing Jared Gaither lumbering before the final play, noting "Gaither looks lame, he's gonna have to get some help here or Wilson's gonna get a sack to end this game." And wouldn't you know it, Martez Wilson easily got to Rivers ...

Kansas City Royals Broadcaster May Have Written The Next Great Love Song
To my mind, the most important part of a love song is a memorable first line. It's also the hardest part. So it was with great admiration and not just a little jealousy that we viewed Royals pre and post-game man Joel Goldberg's sneak peek into the writing process....

Arizona's Three Losses Are The Worst Three Losses In College Football
Candidate for most crud-awful season in football this year: the Arizona Wildcats. Started 3-0, including handsome win over Oklahoma State team to get expectations buzzing. The Associated Press ranked the Cats for the first time since 2010. Next came a 56-0 paste job of South Carolina State. Oats wer...

Beer Of The Week: Blue Buck, In Time For Canadian Thanksgiving
Monday marks a holiday that in Canada is known as Thanksgiving. Any American will recognize the basic outlines of the day: Get together with friends and family and eat until you can compare stretchmarks and then succumb to naps. That doesn't mean it's the same holiday. Care to (U) guess (S) which (A...

Sign Of The Apocalypse: Mass Child Lead Poisoning
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

How's That "Going For It On Fourth Down" Thing Going For San Diego State?
This August brought momentous news: San Diego State Aztecs head coach Rocky Long had done lost his mind, and would be implementing essentially the strategy all advanced football stats people have been stridently advocating since the dawn of advanced football stats. Long was going for it on fourth (i...

Bennifer No More: Ben Affleck's Amazing Comeback
The Academy Awards aren't until February, but as far as Roger Ebert is concerned, we already know who's going to take home the big prize. "The winner of the Academy Award for Best Picture will be Ben Affleck's tense new thriller Argo," he wrote on September 10, not because he thinks it's the best mo...

Here's Michael Phelps Sinking A 150-Foot Putt At A Scottish Pro-Am
Olympic legend Michael Phelps has picked up golf, taking on Hank Haney as an instructor and managing to register as a 24 handicap. He's playing with Paul Casey at the Dunhill Links Championship pro-am today in Scotland, and he managed to land a putt measured by the Daily Mail as a 50-yarder. The p...

"What Do You Want Me To Do—Tell You How Bad My Life Is, How Shitty It Is?": Adam Greenberg's Journey Back To The Majors
In 2005, Adam Greenberg was struck in the head with a fastball in his first major-league at-bat. He's spent the last seven years trying to get back to the majors. Last week, he signed a one-day contract with the Marlins and got his second career at-bat to a standing ovation in Miami last night. He s...

"You Can't Talk Enough Tebow": ESPN's Instructions To On-Air Talent
Doug Gottlieb, the former ESPN Radio host now bound for CBS, did an exit interview on The Dan Patrick Show today and confirmed what we all suspected. But to hear it spelled out this explicitly? Hoo boy. The symbiotic relationship between ESPN and Tebow is fertilized by orders from above, according t...

The Two Common Fallacies That Explain Why NFL Coaches Punt On Fourth Down
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