go Page 622 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Yao Ming Standing Next To A Full-Grown Elephant
Just kidding, it's a baby elephant....

Four Holes-In-One In One Day, On One Course? A Dirty Lie, And The Hoaxed Reporter Is Furious.
I'm the cynical and also jealous sort, so when I see a story in the paper about some 10-year-old kid or cancer survivor or 98-year-old lady hitting a hole-in-one, I automatically think, liar. No you didn't. Stop lying to the newspaper, you goddamned liar. This is a personal failing on my part, but y...

Kansas City Royals Fans Spend $5,100 To Tell Owner David Glass To Get Lost
Kansas City. Kansas City, Kansas City, Kansas City. Things are bad in Kansas City. Real bad. Royals fans are looking to stop the madness. One fan, Joseph Accurso, decided to get a few buddies together and crowd source an open letter to Royals owner David Glass. $5,100 later and what you see to the r...

Luis Suárez Seized A Short-Lived Liverpool Lead With This Picture-Perfect Free Kick Goal
Minutes after allowing a Yaya Touré goal to equalize, Luis Suárez brought the Anfield crowd to its feet with a strike that bent around Manchester City defenders and bounced just past keeper Joe Hart into the bottom corner....

Lance Barrett Tosses A.J. Pierzynski And Robin Ventura, Shameless Homer Hawk Harrelson Goes Off Again
"Lance Barrett's just stunk the joint up, is all he's done, that's all he's done...he's terrible." Hawk, you might recall, got into a bit of a pickle when he referred to umpire Mark Wegner as "brutal" and "totally absurd" while questioning his baseball knowledge. He got a stern talking to from Bud ...

Adrian Gonzalez Homers In His First At Bat As A Dodger
You know what they say about first impressions: always hit a three-run home run in your first at bat with a new team if you'd like to make a good impression. Hours before, Gonzalez, Josh Beckett and Nick Punto were on a plane en route to Los Angeles as the trade was made official. Gonzalez did not ...
![It Sure Looks Like Adrian Gonzalez Will Be Hitting Cleanup For The Dodgers Today [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17x3b17hcsjb1jpg.jpg)
It Sure Looks Like Adrian Gonzalez Will Be Hitting Cleanup For The Dodgers Today [UPDATE]
There's still no official word from the teams, but the Dodgers sure seem to think that Adrian Gonzalez will be moving to Los Angeles. He's batting cleanup and playing first base according to the lineup posted by Enrique Rojas of ESPN Deportes. Buster Olney also tweeted that Gonzalez would be in the ...

Reports: Boston Red Sox And Los Angeles Dodgers Agree To Crazy Trade
Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford and Josh Beckett appear to be on the move. While the teams have yet to officially announce the trade, barring any medical snafus or no-trade clause invocations, this crazy deal appears to be a crazy done deal. ...
![That Crazy Red Sox/Dodgers Trade Will Never Happen, But Could You Imagine? [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17wzi2p4tznkxjpg.jpg)
That Crazy Red Sox/Dodgers Trade Will Never Happen, But Could You Imagine? [UPDATES]
Carl Crawford cleared waivers a couple weeks ago. Josh Beckett is on the wire too. Today, it was reported that Adrian Gonzalez was claimed by the Dodgers. The Red Sox want to get younger and cheaper. The Dodgers have the means, motive and opportunity to go for a title now. These are all the ingredie...

Student-Athletes To Be Slightly Less Exploited, At Least In California
We learned, from Taylor Branch's history, that the term "student-athlete" only arose as a (successful) attempt by the NCAA to avoid having to pay workman's comp to injured players. A Colorado football player, killed by a head injury in the '50s, wasn't entitled to a thing from the NCAA—no health car...

First, Kill All The Cyclists. <em>Premium Rush</em>, Reviewed.
1. It's difficult to overstate how much I dislike bicycle riders in New York City. (Collectively. I'm sure you, individual who rides his/her bike, are perfectly pleasant and normal ... when you're not on your bike.) Bike riders have taken over this city, and they are, almost entirely across the boar...

Chelsea Beats Reading Thanks To Ludicrous Blown Offside Call
Chelsea dashed the dreams of an upset-minded Reading when a clearly offside Fernando Torres broke through to give the Blues a lead today at Stamford Bridge they wouldn't relinquish....

It's Still Too Soon To Tell Whether Junior Seau's Brain Had Been Damaged By Football
The major findings of Junior Seau's autopsy showed that he had no alcohol or drugs in his system at the time of his death. Oh, right: According to a headline trumpeted on CNN's website, Seau's brain also showed no sign of damage. Which must mean football's in the clear, right? Well, no. The medical ...

Scottie Pippen's Porsche Had A Fender-Bender In Chicago Today
Scottie Pippen, who is totally not bankrupt, had a minor car accident on Chicago's Magnificent Mile this afternoon. According to our tipster, his Porsche collided with an Audi at the corner of Michigan and Chestnut (right across the street from the Hancock Center). Pippen stepped out to make a phone...

U.S. Open Ref Is Charged With Murdering Her Husband With A Coffee Mug
Lois Goodman is a 70-year-old tennis official. Earlier today, she was getting set to officiate U.S. Open qualifying matches out in Queens, but instead she was rerouted to a Manhattan jail. She's charged with bludgeoning her 80-year-old husband to death:...

Casino Fails To Shuffle Cards, Sues Gamblers Who Won $1.5 Million
A group of 14 people were huddled around a mini baccarat table at Atlantic City's Golden Nugget casino in August, when something strange started to happen. The same sequence of cards was dealt twice—then a third time, and a fourth, and so on. Gamblers aren't dumb: they upped their bets from the mini...

Richard Bachman Will Wear A Stephen King-Inspired Goalie Mask
It's got to suck to be the Dallas Stars' backup goalie. He'll never be the most famous person named Richard Bachman, even though the guy ahead of him isn't actually named Richard Bachman. But he's embracing it, with this new mask from David Gunnarsson, featuring art from The Shining....

Rich Old Cracker Says Incompetent Woman Can Play Golf At His Stupid Club
I am a man. I woke up feeling great about myself today, but I didn't know why. Now I totally do!...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Andrew Luck Made A Shitty Doodle of Lucas Oil Stadium And It Sold For $1500 On Ebay
People often bemoan the grown men who go autograph hunting, and maybe rightly so, but that's a debate for another day because there is something far, far worse. It is the guy who spends $1500 on a fucking chicken scratch sketch of a stadium drawn and signed by some rookie NFL player who hasn't even...