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The Nationals And Cubs Need To Work On Their Bench-Clearing Brawl Technique
#NATITUDE was on full display tonight at Nationals Park as an inside pitch to Bryce Harper, preceded by some jawing between Nationals third base coach Bo Porter and Cubs bench coach Jamie Quirk, led to perhaps the most anticlimactic bench-clearing brawl in baseball history. Lots of pushing, some ye...

Roger Goodell's Sanctimonious Pledge To "Make Everything Safer, Including Our Military"
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Fan Drops Two Foul Balls At White Sox Game
The closest I've ever come to catching a foul ball was in Seattle, at the Kingdome. I was sitting dead center behind home plate, about halfway up in the upper deck. The Mariners hitter had his timing right, but just got under it, sending the ball rocketing directly towards our section. A fan maybe f...

How Do You Make Oregon's Offense Even More Colorful? Broadcast Them In Spanish
While American football still has plenty of inroads to make south of the border, its growing popularity can't be denied; there's a strong Mexican college football league featuring the best-named football team anywhere, ever, and Roger Goodell keeps nudging owners toward hosting a regular season NF...

Clemson Receiver Gets Baptized At Practice, Sets School Record For Receptions, Incontrovertibly Proves God Is Real And Baptist And An ACC Fan
Junior DeAndre Hopkins looked like a new man in Clemson's win over Auburn on Saturday. He set a school record with 13 catches, finishing with 119 yards and a score. Then his wide receiver coach posted this photo to Twitter, totally explaining everything—Hopkins had been baptized after Thursday's pra...

Charl Schwartzel Four-Putting From Three Feet Away Is Brutal
This is the kind of mess that makes you so uncomfortable you almost can't watch it all. But of course, you do watch it all. Three times. Three times he missed this seemingly unmissable putt. Maybe we shouldn't count the last miss because it was likely the result of equal parts anger and shame, but...

Undercover Cops Fucking Love Wearing Old NFL Jerseys
We've received two dispatches from reader Al G. concerning the undercover police presence at Electric Zoo. Electric Zoo, by the way is a festival for music made by computers or something....

Mark Sanchez Confidence Report
As the preseason ends and the real season begins, the most important quarterback controversy in the 6,000 year history of the world endures. We will haphazardly monitor the progress of the Mark Sanchez-Tim Tebow competition....

Astros Player Suffers The Most Astros Injury Ever
Yes, that's Astros shortstop Marwin Gonzalez flying over first base for no apparent reason last night. As you can see in the video below, Gonzalez lunged to try to beat out a grounder, but he planted his left foot just in front of the bag, which suddenly propelled him skyward for a moment. And look ...

Remembering The Night A Ref Punched A Player And A Goalie Choked The Ref
The New Haven Register is in the middle of a series highlighting the 200 greatest moments in New Haven sports history, and if that's a good enough excuse for them to highlight one of the dirtiest hockey games you've probably never heard of, it's good enough for us too....

Russian Powerlifter Drops 400 Pounds On His Chest, Reportedly Dies
Be warned: What happened to poor Igor Golushkin in the video above is not for the squeamish. These details are unconfirmed, but according to this report by Red Hot Russia, Golushkin was trying to bench press 185 kg (approximately 408 pounds) when the bar fell on his chest, tearing his diaphragm an...

Stupidest Football Play In History Occurs As Player Returns Fumble 58 Yards In Wrong Direction Only To Have Opponents Tackle Him
This actually happened! Kent's Andre Parker recovered a blown punt return after the ball grazed a Towson player, only to return the recovered fumble toward his own goal. The only thing that stopped him from scoring a safety for Towson? Towson's punt return team, who foolishly tackled him before h...

Life After Legolas: What Should Orlando Bloom Do With His Career Now?
Lots of actors struggle for years to be discovered, building up a résumé of small, well-regarded roles before hitting the big time. Orlando Bloom is doing it in reverse. Fresh from the Guildhall School of Music & Drama, he jumped into The Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean, starring in t...

John Danks Sued For Hosting Some Brotherly Horseplay That Ended In A Spinal Injury
Danks is done for the year after shoulder surgery earlier this month, but he'll stay busy by dealing with one of the stranger lawsuits we've seen in a while....

The Dodgers Simply Don't Have A Budget
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Stan Kasten has all the money....

This Is What It Looks Like To Win A Golf Tournament By One Stroke, With An Eagle On The 72nd Hole
Eugene Wong stepped to the last tee of the Canadian Tour Championship at Scarboro down a shot, staring a par-four in the face. He drove solidly into the middle of the fairway, 133 yards away. He'd need to get up and down just to go to a playoff. He put it up and in....

David DeJesus Drew A Walk And Got Hit By A Pitch During The Same Plate Appearance
Last night, someone in the Cubs' bullpen plunked the Cubs' own batter, David DeJesus, who had just drawn a walk to lead off the eighth. That same bullpen then gave up nine runs in the ninth. May the Cubs never cease being the Cubs....

We Have A New Favorite Tennis Player: Jack Sock
This morning, Harvey Araton of The New York Times introduced the world to a U.S. Open qualifier named Jack Sock. Here's a passage that apparently posed no problem for any copy editors:...

It's The Worst Steelers Tattoo In The World!
Found at Reddit this morning, from the Facebook page of a guy in Central Pennsylvania who fancies himself a tattoo artist. (Brian's other work is just as inspiring.)...

UCLA Beats Oregon In Football, According To Every Newspaper And TV Station In The Country
College football season doesn't begin until this weekend, and UCLA and Oregon aren't even scheduled to play one another this season. But if you were to check out the website of just about every newspaper in the country right now, you'd come across a headline that tells you "Bruins stun Oregon," comp...