go Page 653 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Much Ado About Nuttin'" And "Brie 'Em To Their Knees" Buttons Pulled For Remaining PSU Football Games
Citizens Bank will not distribute its free game-day buttons for the remainder of the Penn State football season, according to the Patriot-News, for fear that the printed slogans "could be misconstrued in light of the sex abuse scandal on campus."...

If You Want To Get Your Two-Year-Old Drunk, Try The Hibachi Place In Jackson Twp., Ohio
"Two-year-old Karl Preusser, Jr. was with his parents and their friends Friday evening, enjoying a night out at the Wasabi Japanese Steakhouse, a hibachi style restaurant where the cook prepares the meal in front of a table of guests. ... 'He asked K.J. if he was 21 and K.J. said yes and opened his...

Allen Iverson Tells Lawyer To "Go To Hell" In Epic Deposition Transcript
A federal judge in Detroit dismissed a $2.5 million lawsuit against Allen Iverson today. The suit had been filed as a result of a bar fight two years ago that allegedly involved Iverson. The Detroit News obtained a transcript of Iverson's deposition, during which he was questioned by a lawyer who h...

The Lions Had An Awful Lot Of Excuses About The Wind Yesterday
You could chalk the Lions' embarrassing loss to Chicago up to many things. Turnovers, an inability to get the run game going, Matthew Stafford...but no matter how many things don't go your way, it remains all-but-impossible for an NFL team to win when the wind itself is a Bears fan. Here, some selec...

Joe Paterno's Name Has Been Removed From The Big Ten Trophy That Has Not Yet Been Awarded
Retired life is not going any better for toppled morally complicit geezer Joe Paterno. Now his name has been removed from an essentially hypothetical trophy....

A Brawl Broke Out In Chicago
If you were watching the game, you saw this coming somewhere around the end of the first quarter, but the bitterness between the Bears and Lions finally came to a boil when a frustrated Matthew Stafford threw Bears defensive back D.J. Moore to the ground after tossing yet another interception, the...

Teams Should Probably Stop Punting To Devin Hester
The Detroit Lions brought in a new punter this week and apparently no one gave him the memo that Devin Hester is really good at returning punts. Robert Malone made the mistake of kicking it in Hester's vicinity and, well, you can see what happens from there....

Elderly San Diego Woman Wakes Up To Find Drunk Chargers Fan Passed Out On Her Couch
In Pacific Beach—far from Qualcomm Stadium—an 81-year-old woman woke up today to find a man wearing a Chargers jersey asleep on her couch. He's charged with public intoxication and believing in Philip Rivers. [San Diego Union-Tribune, via Sportress of Blogitude]...

Swedish Hockey Player Snaps Stick On Breakaway, Improbably Scores Anyway
Jonte Berg is a winger for Västerås, in the second-highest tier of Swedish hockey. As he got set on a breakaway last night against Malmö , the last thing on his mind was that his stick might snap. After the stick broke, the last thing on his mind was that a Malmö defender would kick it into the ne...

Steeler And Raven Unite In Hating On Roger Goodell, Owing Him Money
Steelers and Ravens have few things in common other than a strong desire to hit each other very hard, and not have to pay out of pocket to do so. These can be conflicting desires in a league that glorifies AFC North smashmouth football, yet doles out fines to show they're concerned about player safe...

The NY Times Reports On A National Crisis: NFL Games Delaying The Start Of <em>The Good Wife</em> On CBS
It seems overwhelmingly likely, since you are reading a fine sports blog like this one, that you prefer the riveting, mature drama of CBS's The Good Wife to the NFL. Oh, there is television, and then there is Josh Charles and Julianna Margulies navigating the remains of Margulies' broken marriage. T...

Jay Cutler's On-And-Off Ladyfriend, Kristin Cavallari, Says He Has The Best Butt In Football
@KristinCav wishes @JayCutler6, and his butt, luck tonight against Juan Castillo and his occasionally ferocious wide nine defense: "To the man with the best butt in football, good luck tonight @jaycutler6 ill be watching." Suave Cutler replies, "thanks babe."...

Caroline Wozniacki And Rory McIlroy Obnoxiously Remind Us That They Are Nos. 1 And 2 In The World
We should only be so cynical about young love, but young love should only give itself so many insufferable personalized nicknames and offer so many reminders that the young people in question—the Wozz in "Wozzilroy" is 21 years old and the Ilroy is 22—hold the best and second-best world rankings in ...

Deadspin I-Team: Is The "Boom Goes The Dynamite" Guy Joining The Army?
His name is Brian Collins. He is the unfortunate soul above that we have come to know and love. First, he was a student sportscaster at Ball State University. Then, he worked at a television station in Waco, Texas, and eventually Alexandria, Minnesota. We thought the last chapter in his story was ...

Steve Williams Wants To Shove Something Up The "Black Arsehole" of Tiger Woods
While attending a "caddie of the year" event in Shanghai, where he won "Celebration of the year" thanks to his ridiculous behavior following Adam Scott's win at the Bridgestone Invitational—including claiming the victory was the greatest of his career—Steve Williams was asked why he made such an ab...

Michael Jordan The Player Would've Hated Michael Jordan The Hardline Owner
Over at SB Nation, Tom Ziller has compiled some of Michael Jordan's contradictory views on the NBA lockout. In a meeting during the '98 lockout, for example, Jordan the player told Wizards owner Abe Pollin, "If you can't make it work economically, you should sell the team." Ziller points out that in...

3,000 Cards Fans Will Now Claim The Autographed Hat A Cubs Fan Found On The Highway
Did you lose a 2011 World Series championship cap autographed by Cardinals players somewhere on I-74 in central Illinois recently? Of course you did. A Cubs fan found it, and now he wants to return it to its rightful owner—you: "He says whoever comes forward will have to know about an unexpected sig...

The Death Of A Former Football Player At An Underground Fight In A Church Has, Somehow, Resulted In A Lawsuit
The church along the Broken Arrow Expressway in Tulsa is of the Christian-capitalist mega-variety. You know the deal: rock shows, slick website, a gift shop, deadly unsanctioned boxing fights. One such fight on Sept. 21, 2011, allegedly resulted in the death of George Clinkscale, who played lineback...

Tony Reali Does His Best Henry Hill In <i>Around The Horn</i>'s Stellar <i>Goodfellas</i> Tribute
Reali and the ESPN crew pay homage to the famous tracking shot in Goodfellas (which was really just Scorcese fucking with Brian De Palma). It's masterfully done....

The Mets Are Moving The Fences To Distract Themselves From The Fact They're The Mets
Not so long ago (2009), the New York Mets opened a new stadium in Flushing. It was supposed to be a classy, exposed-brick-and-green-steel tribute to the franchise's ascendance. Instead, Citi Field has been a monument to the Mets' modern futility and clumsiness....