go Page 654 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NFL Will Happily Pretend A Bounty Is The Worst Scandal Ever
Today, Gregg Williams has his heart weighed by Anubis. Williams is in New York to meet with Roger Goodell in the NFL's impenetrable Park Avenue fortress, but Goodell isn't alone. He's accompanied by Jeff Miller and Joe Hummel, the heads of the NFL's investigative and security teams, and I don't know...
Here's How Oakland Squandered A Late 11-Point Lead And Was Upset By Southern Utah
"The Badlands Conference" is my favorite nickname for the Summit League, and it's an apt name given the conference tournament takes place in South Dakota, home to Badlands National Park. Last night's Summit quarterfinal between sixth-seed Southern Utah and third-seeded Oakland left the Golden Gri...
Ice Cube Ruins It For Everyone, Says There Was No One Particular "Good Day"
Back in January, we brought you two competing theories about the origins of Ice Cube's "It Was a Good Day." One intrepid blogger argued persuasively that Cube's good day was January 20, 1992. But another blogger debunked his case and brought in evidence from Behind the Music. He determined that Cu...
Bountygate Gives Roger Goodell Another Chance To Show You What A Big Dick He Has
I'd like to thank Gregg Williams for inspiring the single stupidest blog post headline of the year, from Frank Bruni of The New York Times. You can tell a sports scandal has reached its wear-out phase if Bruni feels compelled to chime in on it. Anyway, here's the headline:...
Nick Mangold's 5-8, 374-Pound Sister Makes US Olympic Weightlifting Team
Perpetual Pro Bowl Jets center Nick Mangold weighs 307 pounds. He has to block the Vince Wilforks and Haloti Ngatas of the world. But he's probably not as strong as his younger sister, Holley, who qualified for the 2012 Olympics last night....
When Is A Goalie Not A Goalie? When He's A Center Forced To Stand In Net And Pray
With the backup goalie unavailable and the starter injured just two minutes into the game, the Erie Otters of the OHL were forced to turn to little-used center Connor Crisp. Crisp, who hadn't played goalie in organized hockey since he was five years old, threw on some secondhand pads and skates an...
High School Basketball Announcer Shreds Vocal Cords To Pieces In Bonkers Championship Game Call
Please enjoy this gentleman (?) calling a high school game in Chicago absolutely losing his shit in the final seconds. From what we can gather in all the madness, "Hot Rod" Williams drilled a three with 2.4 seconds left to take the lead. Then all hell broke loose in the announcer's booth. We truly...
Creighton Is Going Dancing
Congratulations to the Creighton Bluejays, who in beating Illinois State 83-79 in OT won the Missouri Valley Conference tournament and punched their ticket to the dance. [CBS]...
Belmont Is Going Dancing
Congratulations to the Belmont Bruins, who in beating Florida Gulf Coast 83-69 won the Atlantic Sun tournament and punched their ticket to the dance. [ESPN2]...
Murray State Is Going Dancing
Congratulations to the Murray State Racers, who in beating Tennessee State 54-52 won the Ohio Valley tournament and punched their ticket to the dance. [ESPN2]...
Illinois Sophomore Meyers Leonard Gets Surprise Visit From Marine Brother
This happened way back on Thursday at the Illinois shootaround leading up to the Illini's game with Michigan game on ESPN. Meyers' older brother, Bailey, surprised Meyers as he returned from a tour of duty in Afghanistan. It was the first time the brothers had seen each other since last summer....
UNC-Asheville Is Going Dancing
Congratulations to the UNC-Asheville Bulldogs, who in beating VMI 80-64 won the Big South tournament and punched their ticket to the dance. [ESPN2]...
This Rocket Goal From Hulk Can Only Be Described As Incredible
Last night's O Classico battle between Portugal's two top teams didn't disappoint, and with a late goal off a free kick FC Porto downed Benfica 3-2. But it was the opening goal that was most impressive, as Brazilian forward Hulk launched a rocket early in the match that broke 60 miles an hour. [E...
Sloan Sports Analytics Conference: Lots Of Smart People, And One Bro Who Likes Jerking Off In The Background
MIT's Sloan Sports Analytics Conference regularly features the best minds in sports—people like Bill James, Mark Cuban, et cetera. It also, apparently, features dudes who like making jerk-off motions behind Michael Smith, whose Numbers Never Lie program aired live from MIT yesterday. Here's Smith...
Your Doug Gottlieb Jerkoff Kid Photoshop Roundup
After we finally stopped laughing at that fantastic .gif of the kid who made blowjob motions last week behind ESPN's Doug Gottlieb, we knew we had to turn to you. By dangling another prize of some stupid crap from our desk, we asked for your photoshops, and once again you came through. Jim Cooke, ou...
Dikembe Mutombo And The Case Of The Missing Congolese Gold
Earlier this year, the Houston Chronicle reported that Kase Lawal, a rich Houston businessman appointed by Barack Obama to a FTC committee, had become enmeshed in an illicit scheme to smuggle several tons of gold out of the Democratic Republic of the Congo in 2011. What caught the eye wasn't so much...
Paul Azinger Is Almost As Upset About Andrew Breitbart's Death As He Is About The Dirty Liberal Reaction To It
By now, you've likely heard that ultra-conservative bomb tosser Andrew Breitbart died of "natural causes" early this morning. That's not a lot of time for Paul Azinger to get agitated. But Azinger, perhaps beset by grief, has cranked up his right-wing Twitter feed, despite being warned against such ...
The U.S. Beat Italy For The First Time Ever Thanks To This Clint Dempsey Goal
With Landon Donovan unfit to take the pitch, the U.S. wasn't given much chance to beat Italy in today's international friendly match in Genoa. But Clint Dempsey—scoring machine for Fulham of late—drew first blood for the Yanks off a timely pass from Jozy Altidore. It was the first non-penalty sco...
Jeff Samardzija Would Like To Eye-Hump You For A Moment
Spring training photo day is a second (or fifth) chance to make a first impression. No matter that Jeff Samardzija had had four largely irrelevant seasons in Chicago. This is 2012, and it's a new start, and a hairy intense Samardzija wants you out of those pants and in his bed before he's done smell...
Tiger Woods Does Not Want To Discuss Whether He Wanted To Be A Navy SEAL
Golf Digest published some excerpts yesterday from Hank Haney's upcoming book about his time as Tiger Woods's coach, and the part everybody's talking about is the portion that alleges Tiger "seriously considered" leaving golf to be a Navy SEAL....