go Page 659 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Spanish Goalkeeper Allows Four Goals In Six Minutes, Saves Best Fail For Last
Enaut Zubikarai, the goalkeeper for Real Sociedad, had a very terrible Tuesday evening. Playing in the Copa del Rey's round of 16, Zubikarai allowed Mallorca to score six goals in the first 60 minutes, and Real Sociedad lost, 6-1. This particular moment of utter failure was Mallorca's fourth goal ...

Matt Garza Could Be Bound For Detroit
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!...

Thierry Henry Scored For Arsenal In His Homecoming Match To Put Them Up 1-0 On Leeds
Call it a fairytale, call it destiny, don't call it offside (which he was, most definitely) but Thierry Henry scoring for Arsenal—where he scored a club-record 226 goals between 1999 and 2007—is a story from the pages of British pulp fiction. That he scored the deciding goal in the Gunners' FA Cu...

Are NFL Coaches Getting Smarter About Fourth-Down Strategy?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Turns Out Tiger Woods' Ex-Wife Is The Homewrecker
Sure, Tiger was the one sleeping around and doing all manner of filthy things to all kinds of filthy ladies, but Elin Nordegren, apparently, is the one who left their children with a broken home. As reported earlier this week, Nordegren bought a $12 million house in North Palm Beach, Florida only t...

Starlin Castro Under Investigation For Alleged Sexual Assault, Reports WBBM In Chicago
A woman in her 20s accused Castro, the Cubs' 21-year-old shortstop, of sexually assaulting her last fall. Chicago police now want to question Castro. Castro's lawyers say that the charges are "baseless," while the Cubs say they've only received "limited information." [WBBM News Radio]...

Chargers Fire Defensive Coordinator, Solving All Their Problems And Making Them Favorites For 2012
Norv and A.J. are still there, but DC Greg Manusky has to hit the bricks. You should probably book your ticket to Super Bowl XLVII now, Chargers fans....

Tim Howard Just Scored A Goal
In the game featuring Landon Donovan's Everton debut it was another American, goalkeeper Tim Howard, who stole the show, scoring a goal to put his side up 1-0 on Bolton Wanderers....

Demba Ba Drew First Blood For Newcastle Against Man U With This Fantastic Volley
In a week that's belonged to the giant-killers, Newcastle's aiming to be the next David and has a 1-0 edge on Manchester United thanks to this perfectly-placed volley by Demba Ba. [Fox Soccer]...

For Some Reason, The Chargers Did Not Fire Norv Turner And A.J. Smith
You probably have a friend who doesn't follow football that closely and thinks the Chargers are really great. He likes that they have Antonio Gates, who is a killer in fantasy, and Vincent Jackson. He thinks Philip Rivers deserves to be mentioned with Tom Brady and Peyton Manning as the best quarter...

Some Dude Got Arrested For Breaking Into Wrigley Field And Ripping Ivy Off The Walls
Michael Vite, 24, allegedly entered the ballpark through a construction area around 7:30 a.m. on New Year's Day. Police say he "ran onto the field and pulled some ivy off the outfield wall." Which is pretty lame compared to this. [CBS Chicago; h/t to Disco Choo]...

Brian Urlacher's Injury Horrified His Teammates, Brought Them To Prayer
Bears All-Pro linebacker Brian Urlacher opened the new year with an MCL sprain, though his reaction was so terrifying teammates fell to their knees in prayer. From DeKalb's Daily Chronicle:...

Here's Another One Of Those 105-Yard Kickoff Returns We Were Told We'd Never See Again
When the NFL moved kickoffs up prior to the start of the season, long returns were nearly declared extinct. While the number of return TDs is down significantly, there have been a good number of surprises, like this one from San Diego's Richard Goodman. [CBS]...

David Akers Is Now Throwing Touchdown Passes
We're not sure if this says more for Jim Harbaugh's shrewdness or the Rams' general ineptitude, but this fake field goal completion from David Akers to Michael Crabtree was a pass even Tim Tebow would have completed. That having been said, the fake was so good it even fooled the broadcast truck. [...

Sunderland's Ji Dong-Won Delivers Last-Second Winning Goal, Then Makes Out With A Fan
Sunderland continued a giant-killing weekend in the English Premier League by stunning Manchester City in the final seconds of stoppage time with a goal by Ji Dong-Won....

BYU Won The Military Armed Forces Bowl By Bearing False Witness
Brigham Young University, the school that suspends you for daring to have sex, holds no such stringency to the words of the Lord when it comes to running football plays. This one earned the Cougars the Military Armed Forces Bowl trophy and, sure, it's a stretch to call a fake spike "lying," but it...

The Faces Of 2011: A Gallery Of Derp Portraiture
Roger Goodell Is Going To Be A Big Baby About This Lockout Until The Very End...

If You Look Like Josh Elliott And Live In The Tri-State Area, This Lady Would Like To Hump You
A reader has alerted of us of a rather specific No Strings Attached request on the New York City Craigslist, and because we're still in the holiday spirit here, we thought we'd pass along the posting on the off-chance that anyone out there might qualify....

Break Out The Flat Top: Greg Ostertag Is Making A Comeback In The D-League
Without cheating, guess how long Greg Ostertag has been retired? It was only five years ago, when an out-of-shape Ostertag was playing limited minutes behind Mehmet Okur and mentoring a young Kris Humphries. But it's been even longer since he was effective, and longer than that since he played for a...

LaMichael James Rides Space Mountain Roller Coaster, Looks Completely Terrified
Your morning roundup for Dec. 28, the day we learned they're onto us. Photo courtesy Kegs 'N Eggs, via Larry Brown Sports. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....