go Page 679 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

As If Lawnmower Races Weren't Thrilling Enough
Lawnmower racing may or may not be the national sport of New Zealand; we're not clear on our Kiwi stereotypes. But we do know this: any mower race that ends in fisticuffs is automatically the best mower race of all time....

Ibrahimovic Scores A Beauty
Self-publicist Zlatan Ibrahimovic — football's Ricky Gervais, the millionaire's Peter Crouch, the vagrant's Curtly Ambrose — put a small portion of money where his mouth is yesterday....

Be Joe Buck's Sidekick At The Super Bowl
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.(PHOTO:)...

David Brooks Recalls That Time When Athletes Weren't Impressed With Themselves, Which Was Never
"Joe DiMaggio didn't ostentatiously admire his own home runs, but now athletes routinely celebrate themselves as part of the self-branding process," writes Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy, who, in addressing the Tucson shootings, trains his surveyor symbols on our national immodesty. Any thoughts, Babe?...

Proud Cubs Groupie Says Blame Her, Not Bartman
A wannabe reality TV cleat chaser says she was out "drinking and hooking up" with members of the Cubs until 4 a.m. the night before the 2003 NLCS game 7. Why yes, she did go to Arizona State, how'd you guess? [RadarOnline]...

Oregon Fans Still Have A Couple Things Going For Them
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Flamengo Fans Slightly Excited About Ronaldinho
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

The Way We Live Now: New Cubs Outfielder Responds To Mockery On His Tumblr
Fernando Perez, outfielder and all-around solid guy, isn't happy with this bit of satire from a Cubs blog. "It's so arbitrary and unfunny I'd be offended if I took the 120 seconds out of my work day to read it," Perez...tumbls. [Outfielding]...

"Golden Radio Voice" Guy Has Golden Mugshot History
Courtesy of "NFL Facts and Rumors" via The Smoking Gun comes visual documentation as to why the Ted Williams had trouble getting a job. Also, he was detained by LAPD early this morning for squabbling. [The Smoking Gun]...

Oregon Wasn't As Fast As Nike Made Them Look
There was method to the madness of Oregon's uniforms last night, according to Nike's top uniform designer. Here are their neon green secrets....

Goal Of The Year Wasn't The Year's Best Goal (Among Other FIFA Ballon d'Or Oversights)
This post, written by Richard Anderson, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....

Your "Stolen Laptop Vs. Stolen Projector" Auburn-Oregon Open Thread
Auburn's bigger; Oregon actually has something resembling a defense. Oregon has a running game; Auburn has Cam Newton, who is their running game. This one should be high scoring, and fun to watch....

Chip Kelly Hopes Cam Newton Sprains An Ankle
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Oregon gameplan is simple....

The Wind Talkers Of Oregon Football Stump The Finest Minds
Tomorrow brings us another minor football contest and more of the cryptic placards of battleships and jack-o-lanterns that Oregon backup QB Dustin Haines has been flashing at teammates throughout the season. The system appears to have been designed by some mad genius....

The Smutty Innuendo Of Tiger Woods's <em>Golf Digest</em> Columns
We mourn this week a towering man-of-letters: Tiger Woods. If you grow verklempt upon hearing the recent doleful news that Golf Digest is canceling Woods's 13-year-old column, you're in good company. But it's happening....

Confusion Over Garza-Benoit Confusion Finally Resolved
So the Chicago Sun-Times wasn't the only paper to mix up Matt Garza and Joaquín Benoit. The Daily Herald made the same mistake. But don't blame the papers. The error originated with a bad cutline from a wire photographer. Asshole....

<em>Chicago Sun-Times</em> Mixes Up Its Latino Baseball Players
The Cubs on Friday traded for Tampa Bay pitcher Matt Garza. Apparently, this confused the Chicago Sun-Times, which slapped a full-page photo on its back cover of...Joaquín Benoit. Both pitchers are right-handed. Both have facial hair. Let's stop there....

Qwest Field Says Its Beers Were Actually A Great Deal. Are They Drunk?
Qwest Field was exposed yesterday as a temple of avarice and graft, where honest fans buying large beers were duped into paying for medium-size beers. Qwest Field has been exposed today as the headquarters of a cut-rate spin machine....

A Former Player Responds To Roger Goodell's Open Letter
What a buzzkill. On the eve of the playoffs, just when fans' excitement in the sport is cresting, Roger Goodell tripped on his shoestrings again, puked all over his keyboard, and then hit "send."...