go Page 680 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Only Time In History Someone's Been Excited To Play For A MAC School
With last night's GoDaddy.com Bowl, Miami (OH) became the first team ever to go from 10 losses to 10 wins in one year. Before the game, interim(!) coach Lance Guidry got them fired up....

Upstanding Young Oregon Fan Wants To Marry, Ditch Auburn Lass For A Bet
Meet Ryan Tharp. He knows two things: the Ducks are going to win Monday, and he's quite a catch. So he's looking for an Auburn gal to get hitched in Vegas, then get a quickie annulment the next day. Loser pays....

Watch This Soccer Team Miss And Miss And Miss And Miss And Miss Again
A certain member of the Spoiler offices could be quite clearly heard attempting to disguise hysterical laughter by very occasionally coughing as if nothing remotely weird was happening. Just business as usual....

Cristiano Ronaldo Breaks Real Madrid Goal-Scoring Record
When you sign Cristiano Ronaldo, you don't just get an oily gentleman who looks like he belongs on the Jersey Shore, you also get goals — absolutely loads of them....

"Golden Radio Voice" Guy Has A Job Offer From The Cavs
Columbus, Ohio, homeless man Ted Williams, which is American for "Susan Boyle," apparently has been offered a home and a job doing voiceover work for the Cavs. Dreams do come true, America, just so long as they go viral first. [Business Insider]...

All Of Edin Dzeko’s Goals From Last Season … In 2-D!
Unless people are making it all up for a laugh, the big news is that the robed men at Man City have splurged another £30 million on hot European property — this time, Edin Dzeko of playing-for-Wolfsburg fame....

Tiger Mistress Continues Efforts To Profit From Being Tiger Mistress
Remember Loredana Jolie, former Playboy model and "self-appointed title as Mistress No. 15 with a tell-all, 'The Real Diary of Loredana Jolie'"? Yeah, me either, until I saw that picture again....

Hungover? Watching Brett Favre Dance To A Vanilla Ice Song Should Help
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Oney Guillen Apologizes, But Not Really
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Oney stands behind his Bobby Jenks offensive....

A Mink Stole Is Full-Length On Nate Robinson
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: Ozzie Guillen's Son Puts Bobby Jenks On Blast
After Jenks criticized Guillen's handling of his bullpen, Oney Guillen gave a measured response: accusing Jenks of alcoholism, marital problems and punching a clubhouse attendant....

Favre To Be Fined For Texts
Reports have Roger Goodell fining, but not suspending Brett Favre for his actions in the Jenn Sterger scandal....

The Big Ten's New Logo Really Isn't That Bad
Co.Design talks to Michael Bierut, the guy responsible for the Big Ten's redesign, who finds himself assailed by the sort of conference alums who'd hate any logo that wasn't Bo Schembechler and Woody Hayes humping each other in a cornfield. [Co.Design]...

Remember, NFL Players: You're Subject To A Fine If You Tell A Fan To Suck Your Dick
Lions Center Dominic Raiola has a great rapport with Dolphins fans. [PFT]...

Last Night's Winner: The Chicago Bulls Kill Christmas
From their rendition of "The Twelve Days of Christmas," we learn that everyone on the Bulls is tone deaf, and one of them might be stoned. Guess which one. Go on, guess....

Go Ask Roger Goodell Some Uncomfortable Questions
Roger Goodell is chatting live on NFL.com right now. I'm sure we all have some questions we'd like to ask him....

Shut Up And Stop Being Humble, Devin Hester
After breaking the NFL record for return touchdowns, Hester took the podium and before any questions were even asked, emotionally thanked his coaches and teammates. I know he's got to do it, but c'mon. He's earned the right to brag....

Remembering The "Lorchcast," Worst Sportscast Ever
On Dec. 19, 1995, Matt Lorch, a fill-in sportscaster for KHQA in Quincy, Illinois, endured nearly six minutes on-air with malfunctioning videos, unplanned catch-phrases, and one of the most heartbreaking sighs ever sighed. Fifteen years later, we remember Lorchcast....

Security At TCF Stadium Too Goddamn Cold To Stop Pant-Dropping Fan From Breaking Huddle
No guaranteed seating, no booze, no security, and now it's pants-optional? Also! Joe Webb. Roger Goodell must be thrilled to have made the trip to Minneapolis this evening....

Here's Your "Total Snowclipse Of The Favre?" MNF Open Thread
Brett Favre will start against the Bears tonight. And in the next two weeks, Roger Goodell will announce the results of the Jenn Sterger investigation. The conspiracy theories have arrived, and the race for some-stab-at-restored-glory has only just begun....