go Page 687 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Meet Your New Undersized, Scraptastic, Very White New England Sports Cult Hero: Danny Woodhead
Danny Woodhead, the Jets castoff and Rex Ryan-anointed "little fucker," made his Patriots debut yesterday and is already being touted as the economy-sized Wes Welker. Chief among these proponents is Dan Shaughnessy. Of course. Let's look at the best of the worst....

Should Stuart Attwell Have Let Dirk Kuyt’s Goal Stand?
The suits at the Professional Game Match Officials organisation reckon so, yesterday issuing a statement confirming Attwell had not broken the Laws of the Game. But what do YOU think? Consider the following:...

100-Foot Super Mario Game Plays Out In MLS Stands
Supporters of the Chicago Fire put together this impressive tifo (basically the soccer equivalent of those North Korean card stunts) over the weekend featuring Mario, a Koopa Troopa, and one on-target fireball....

Lions Player Holds Up One More Finger Than His Team Has Wins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Brilliant Details From The Fabled Terrell Owens, Hugh Douglas Fistfight
Former Philadelphia Eagles special-teamer Jason Short spoke to NBC's Out Of Bounds about things he remembers from his playing days like concussions, wedge-busting, Iggles fans, concussions, Sean Morey's concussions, and concussions. But one section about T.O. is pretty hilarious....

Hockey Goons Are Born, Not Made
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dork Beats Other Dork: The King Of Kong Returns
The guy from The King of Kong is once again The King of Kong. Steve Wiebe retook the world-record from Billy Mitchell, and the wussiest rivalry in the world was given new life. Bring on the sequel. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...

David Beckham And Gordon Ramsey "Caught In Gunfight"
Sweary TV chef Gordon Ramsay has revealed he and bessie mate David Beckham had to cut short a recent bonding/camping trip to the outskirts of LA after waking up to a rousing chorus of *pew pew pew*...

God Gave Mark Dantonio A Heart Attack For Beating Notre Dame, Says Soon-To-Be-Suspended Radio Guy
We said it's time to let the MSU/ND game go. Matt Patrick, of a South Bend talk radio station, should probably have read us before he insinuated that God struck Dantonio down for cheating against the Catholics....

After Enough Time Had Passed, Cousin Itt Finally Forgave Them For Imploding The Vet
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

So, The FBI Stopped A Suspected Terrorist From Blowing Up Wrigley Field And Environs
A Lebanese man was arrested early Sunday and has been charged with one count each of attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction and attempted use of an explosive device after allegedly trying to blow up Wrigley Field. Typical Cardinals fan....

Weekend Winner: Sparty's Balls (If Not His Vascular System)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio, who beat Notre Dame on a wonderfully idiotic fake field goal in overtime and then survived a "minor" heart attack....

A Video Compilation Of Baseball's Dangerous Broken Bats
Following the unceremonious end to Tyler Colvin's season, Wezen-Ball put together a fairly succinct montage of dangerous broken bats that were put into play during MLB games. Baseball is the new Thunderdome. [Wezen-Ball]...

Yep, a Chicago Cub Just Got Impaled on a Broken Bat
Tyler Colvin is in stable condition at a local hospital after being impaled in his upper left chest by a piece of broken bat during Sunday's game at Sun Life Stadium....

John Harbaugh: God Makes Foolish The Wisdom Of The World (Specifically, Vegas Point Spreads)
"Where is the wise man?" John Harbaugh asks his team. "Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Does God not make foolish the wisdom of this world? That's what He did tonight, because we're the Ravens."...

Antonio Valencia Has One More Broken Leg Than Usual
During the Red Devils recent match against Glasgow Rangers, winger Antonio Valencia was challenged by the aptly named Kirk Broadfoot and ended up suffering a compound fracture in his leg. He will miss the remainder of the season. [Goal.com, H/T JRG]...

Matt Forte Put A Bun In The Wrong Oven
Forte's fiancée dumped him after learning that his ex-girlfriend is seven months pregnant with his child. It worked for Brady! [Sun-Times]...

Who Is Pretending To Be The Togo Soccer Team?
Last week, Bahrain hosted Togo in a friendly, beating them 3-0. Then Togo's soccer federation said they hadn't actually sent their national team, and they didn't know who Bahrain had just played....

Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Owen Wilson Urinating In Public
See that photo, I-Team? That's the guy from Marmaduke pissing on a golf course yesterday. Yes, he's wearing a Warriors shirt. But there is so much more to know, I-Team. That's where you come into play....