go Page 688 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Other Monday Night Football Open Thread: Chargers-Chiefs
If you're going to be glued to the TV while the Chargers put up thirty-four or so on the Chiefs, this is the open thread for you. Let your hatred of Todd Haley seethe below. ...

Tiger Woods Can't Stop Swearing, Breaking Promises To Stop Swearing
Tiger Woods, whether he's chastising himself or enthusiastically congratulating a friend, cannot stop swearing—around his kids, no less. Oh fuck no....

Weekend Winner: NFL Rule 8, Section 1, Article 4
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the "going to the ground" rule, which cost the Lions a victory yesterday and which comes from a part of the rulebook apparently written in crayon....

Tony Dungy Is An Insufferable Shit
"If I'm Reggie Bush, I give back the trophy," Tony Dungy said yesterday in his capacity as football's freelance moral compass. This is all he does anymore: intone some insufferably pious crap that's just aching to be cross-stitched onto a decorative pillow....

Moroccan Keeper Jumps The Gun In Penalty Shootout
Hilarious scenes during a penalty shootout between Moroccan top division teams Maghreb Fez and FAR Rabat, in the brilliantly named ‘Throne Cup'....

Good Morning, Just, Just Give Us A Few Minutes
Hey, we had an NFL party last night and there's that whole "Turning Five" thing. It got a little crazy. We'll be with you all shortly....

Are You Ready For Some Old-School Re-Imagined Video-Game Football?
And now, Apple II "Oregon Trail" reimagined with Plaxico, Stallworth, Goodell, etc. No wonder buffalo are pretty much gone....

The Camera Will Always Love Joakim Noah
We get so many of these photos that I begin to wonder if Joakim Noah will ever enjoy an undocumented moment in public or at his local head shop. At least he seems to relish these encounters. I mean, look....

Fräulein Soccer Player Treats Other Fräulein Soccer Player In Very Un-Fräulein-Like Way
Taoba Kemmy of FFC Turbine Potsdam is not to be messed with when she's taking a throw-in because she may well throw it at your face. Don't believe it? Just ask FFC Frankfurt's Kerstin Garfrekes. [Unprofessional Foul]...

This Goalie Has Just The Most Adorable Mask
KHL goalie Vasiliy Koshechkin has a fearsome kitty cat painted on his mask. Its name is Cерьiй, and it is "very bored from being on the side of his head all the time." I can haz intimidation? [Hot Ice via Puck Daddy]...

Big Ben To Miss Just Four Games
As expected, the NFL reduced Ben Roethlisberger's suspension to 4 games. Darn. Mike Wise was only off by 1....

Joakim Noah Plays Golf With Pizzazz
Oh, Joakim Noah. Whether you're buying a pipe to smoke tobacco or hanging at Lollapalooza, your off-the-court activities are wonderful. Let's hear some good captions, people. Photo via Sportress of Blogitude...

The Return Of The US Women’s College Football Fight
Remember the spate (well, two or three) of women's college football brawls that broke out in the US towards the end of last year? Those were good times, no?...

Last Night's Winner: Manny Ramirez And His Unnecessary Translator
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Manny Ramirez, who in his first presser with the White Sox pretended not to speak English and required the translation services of third base coach Joey Cora....

Sportswriter Fired For Being A Homer Takes Job With Favorite Team
Remember Pete Pelegrin, the Miami Herald's FIU beat writer (and "FIU evangelist," in the words of a coworker) who publicly and spectacularly quit the paper because they were giving Miami more coverage? He's now working for FIU. Synergy!...

Another Icelandic Goal Celebration, This Time With Toilet Humor
Our love for Stjarnan FC is well-documented, but we think their new "three-man toilet" routine is their best yet. We should also point out that they're just 10 points clear of relegation, so maybe work more on set pieces than celebrations....

Let's All Watch <em>Around The Horn</em> Uncomfortably Discuss The Mariotti Mess
Around The Horn returned from its fortuitously timed hiatus today to finally discuss Mariotti the best way they know: with a timer and a scoring system, and by barking like trained seals....

Jay Cutler, Chicago's O-Line Have Trust Issues
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

What Shouldn't You Do In Wee-Hours Milwaukee?
If you answered "be a Brewers clubhouse attendant named Alex Sanchez who goes out for 'a late snack' with pitchers," you probably didn't get hit in the back of the head with a handgun yesterday....

Everybody Needs To Stop Talking About The Cubs' Future For A Few Months
After Lou Piniella announced he was retiring after last Sunday's game—fittingly, it was a blowout—the Chicago and national media started yammering on about who would replace him, and What It All Means For The Cubs. Please make it stop....