go Page 806 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while folding prison laundry ... • MLB: Mariners Raul! ... Ibanez leads Seattle to fourth straight win. • College baseball: Fierce Beavers beat Wolverines, advance to CWS. • Soccer: As if you didn't know, Canada beats Haiti 2-0 in CONCACAF Gold Cup Match....
Gilbert Arenas Has A Lot Of Baby Stuff To Buy
The Washington Wizards say that they're not surprised that Agent Zero plans to opt out of the final year of his contract, turning down the team's offer of a three-year extension. Arenas signed a six-year, $65 million deal with the team in 2003, but says that he can make bigger money through free age...
About John Daly's Stabby Wife...
We are 24 hours in to the story of John Daly getting stabbed by his wife with a steak knife (seen to the left, without knife). Details are sketchy and not necessarily either accurate or in this order:...
Living And Dying With Your Team ... Live On Video!
Last week, West Ham United faced potential relegation from the Premiership. It came down to one vital game ... and this man was there to do everything in his power to help his team survive....
It's Almost As If You Shouldn't Make People Play Pro Golf At 13
You know, it's almost as if Michelle Wie was rushed into golf too young and is having a difficult time handling it. Apparently, she had a bit of a meltdown during a Pro-Am on Monday. From The Baltimore Sun:...
Do Not Taunt Julian Tavarez
Of all the athletes you'd want to make fun of while he's holding a baseball, Julian Tavarez seems like a particularly dangerous choice....
When Every Match Is A Friendly
We don't claim to know a lot about soccer,* but we believe that the Romanians are really on to something here. Hoping to stamp out hooliganism at his matches, Steaua Bucharest owner Gigi Becali will from now on play only religious music at the team's home stadium. But that's not all....
Three Great Tastes That Taste Great Together
So, you're trying to promote your fledgling soccer franchise. You've got a two options: You can hold a blood drive outside the stadium pregame and give free tickets to those who give up a pint. Or ... you can just GIVE OUT FREE BEER!...
It's Tough To Pass A Grenade Off Your Head
We're now eight hours in on this project, and we'll say this: We're about to pull the same stunt on our television that these soccer fans almost did after their team lost last week....
Is Gene Upshaw Gonna Have To Choke A Bitch?
You might remember, last August, when Bryant Gumbel — that notorious agent of social change — blasted NFL union head Gene Upshaw for being the "personal pet" of the NFL, and that he was kept "on a leash."...
Tank Johnson Would Like To Be The Face Of The NFL
In case you were wondering, being involved in a shooting incident in Vegas — though you didn't fire the weapon and all you really did was hang out with shady people and try to get your money back after a rather ill-advised "making it rain" incident — will earn you a one-year suspension from the NFL....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while looking for a phone booth ... • NHL: Duck Tales ... the Stanley Cup is one win from coming to California. Woooo! • MLB: It goes to 11 ... Mark Ellis hits for cycle as A's beat Red Sox in extra innings. • Motor Sports: Bang the Brake Drum Slowly ... Bill France Jr., RIP....
Who's the Next Allison Stokke?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Gators Deal With The Loss Of Billy Boy
Now that Billy Donovan has officially left the Florida Gators for the Orlando Magic — and EDSBS has been quiet so far — we thought we'd ask the biggest Gators fan we knew, Dan Shanoff, to describe how he's feeling. Here are his words....
The Otters Are No Longer Satisfied With Their Jug Band Christmas
Beware, everyone: The otters have finally had enough of centuries of human dominance and have banded together to destroy us. It was only a matter of time. We welcome our new otter overlords....
The End Of An Online Sports Legend
Back before we started this site, when we were just thinking about it, we scoured the Internets to see which sports sites, we thought, were doing it right, sites we'd want to pattern ourselves after. One of the first ones we loved was Batgirl, author Anne Ursu's playful, cute and hilarious ode to al...
Somewhere Out There, There's An Elephant With Your Name On It
A few commenters mentioned this yesterday, and we think it's a fair question: When is it OK to laugh? The guy we wrote about who plummeted 75 feet off a cliff in his golf cart was, after all, a real person, with a family and pets and an active Netflix account. But the first thing we thought of when ...
The Real Tragedy Is That My Cell Phone Was In There
Well, if your golf cart has to plunge off of a gigantic cliff with you in it, we suppose it might as well be in Fallbrook, Calif....
Yet Another Great Reason To Live In Portland
Before we talk about the disappointment of all the teams who didn't win the first or second pick in last night's NBA Draft Lottery, let's look at the team that did win, the Portland Trail Blazers. (The official favorite team of Henry Abbott at True Hoop, who was at the lottery last night and, amusin...
Ken Griffey Jr. Should Be A Billionaire By Now
A sun-splashed Saturday afternoon, on a Little League Field somewhere in America:...