When Every Match Is A Friendly

We don't claim to know a lot about soccer,* but we believe that the Romanians are really on to something here. Hoping to stamp out hooliganism at his matches, Steaua Bucharest owner Gigi Becali will from now on play only religious music at the team's home stadium. But that's not all.

Among Becali's new rules for the team are "fines for sad faces". Players will be forced to pay between 5,000 and 30,000 euros ($40,600) if they appear upset after being substituted or dropped. "All my players must be happy," Becali said.

It should come as no surprise that Becali is also running for President of Romania ... vying to fill the opening left by Billy Donovan, who lasted only three days. Ha, ZING!

* = Deadspin Understatement of the Day brought to you by Gorton's Fish Sticks.

Steaua Owner Pits Hymns Against Hooligans [Guardian Unlimited]