ham Page 265 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<em>The New York Times</em> Asks: Is This When LeBron Finally Beats The Knicks?
I know I've already been beating the drum about this, but honestly, the New York Times sports page is embarrassingly podunk. Here's what the paper had to say about LeBron James and the Miami Heat beating the Knicks last night:...
This Week In Guys Losing Their Lunch On The Soccer Pitch
It has been an unfortunate week for gentlemen suffering gastrointestinal distress on the soccer pitch, as at least two professional stars displayed their athletic acumen—and their lunch—before what we assume was a grossed-out television audience....
History Is Bunk, When The <em>New York Times</em> Writes It About The Yankees
Two of the worst things in sports are Yankees homerism and New York Times writers who want to impress people. Put them together, and you get the Times's Mark Viera, coming off the sports department bench to gloat in yesterday's paper about the Yankees' 2-1 win over the Orioles the night before. His ...
Today's Lesson In Sportsmanship Comes From The Islamic Republic of Iran
On a day when we learn of the lengthy suspensions handed down to New Orleans Saints players amidst the bounty scandal, here's a palate cleanser of sportsmanship (or, as they like to call it in the soccer world, Fair Play) that took place yesterday in Dubai....
Lacrosse Player Throws Sucker Punch After Being Ejected For Throwing Other Punch
Jake Champion. Is there a better lacrosse name than Jake Champion, defenseman for Florida's St. Thomas Aquinas? When Jake Champion punches you, you stay punched. An unaware opponent found that out last night. As Jake Champion was being escorted off the field for throwing a punch during the game, J...
Today In Free Kicks: Kyle Walker, Young-Pyo Lee Produced Two Of The Most Gorgeous Goals You'll Ever See
The past 20 hours have been outstanding for fans of set pieces, as two beautiful free kick goals found the net and proved decisive in their respective games. Spurs back Kyle Walker secured victory for his squad in their match this morning against Blackburn with the above strike, a curving weasel o...
Mohamed Sanu Drafted By The Cincinnati Bengals, No Seriously—The Bengals Drafted Him Friday Night
The Rutgers wide receiver was projected to go in the second or third round, and after a prank call pump fake on day one, he actually did go in the third round to the team he thought picked him in the first round....
Some Dick Prank-Called Mohamed Sanu And Told Him He'd Been Drafted
The Rutgers wide receiver is projected to go in the second or third round, but there's no blaming Sanu for getting his hopes up last night. As Cincinnati prepared to make their pick, someone claiming to be from the Bengals called Sanu and told him they were about to select him 27th overall....
ITV Cuts Into Champions League Extra Time To Bring You A Very Surprised Newsreader
Three minutes into extra time of Real Madrid and Bayern Munich's Champions League second leg, ITV—broadcasting the match in Britain—cut to the News At Ten studio. The anchor was as confused as the viewers. There was still plenty of soccer to be played, and it was 15 minutes shy of 10:00 anyway....
Fernando Torres's Goal Drew Orgasmic Moaning From Gary Neville
It wasn't so much that £50m man Torres scored a goal — though, holy crap, Fernando Torres scored a goal! — as it was Chelsea completing a 10-man comeback and 45-minute stand against Barcelona in the Champions League semifinal. But Gary Neville, working the game for Sky Sports, was driven to what c...
John Terry Was Sent Off From The Champions League Semifinal After Pulling A Metta World Peace
Minutes after Barcelona scored to tie the aggregate at 1-1, Chelsea captain John Terry was sent off for one of the dumbest stunts seen in the Champions League in years: kneeing Barça striker Alexis Sánchez in the back....
Welsh Rugby Out To Kill All Kinds Of Popes, Not Just The Catholic Ones
This story is strange on a number of levels. In 2008, two Welsh doctors discovered that going back to 1883, five roman Catholic Popes had died whenever Wales rugby won the Grand Slam. The Grand Slam, of course, is when one team in the annual Six Nations Championship beats all the other teams in a g...
Barcelona Broke Down At Just The Right Times To Let Chelsea Escape With A 1-0 Champions League Win
Chelsea walked away with a 1-0 win in their home leg of the Champions League semifinal with Barcelona today, putting a stumbling block in the road of Barça's attempt to defend their CL title. They did this despite being dominated at nearly every aspect of the game, thanks to Barcelona's failure t...
Josh Hamilton Launched His Bat Into The Stands, And A Fan Caught It On The Fly
It's the refrain of unimaginative baseball broadcasters whenever a fan makes a nice foul ball catch: "Sign that guy to a contract!" I'm not sure what the proper response is when a fan catches a bat that's been weaponized by the big swing and poor grip of Josh Hamilton, but if you were expecting t...
Report: Fired Penn State President Now Working On National Security Project
Graham Spanier was fired Nov. 9, in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky scandal. He's been silent ever since, but yesterday he told Sara Ganim the "special project" he will be a part of "builds on my prior positions working with federal agencies to foster improved cooperation between our nation's nationa...
Boston College Is Your NCAA Hockey Champion, Though This Fan Passed Out Before The Game Was Over
Boston College dispatched Ferris State 4-1 to win tonight's NCAA Division I hockey championship in Tampa, and we wish the Eagles and their fans a hearty congratulations on their third title in five years. We don't know whether to congratulate or be concerned for this fan, though, who appears to h...
"Motherfuckin' Shit! Take Your Ass Home!" Or, Why The Baltimore Orioles Matter
The best night of the 2011 baseball season in Baltimore was the final one. For once, for the first time in years, the whole country was watching. And what it saw was a thing of joy. There were the Boston Red Sox, all $161 million worth of them, one out away from a 3-2 victory and, at worst, a one-ga...
The Marlins Opened Their New Stadium In The Saddest, Most Awkward Way Possible
Marlins Park is the new jewel of Miami, and team owner Jeffrey Loria must've figured it wise to use a big-time celebrity with some Miami cred to deliver the ceremonial first pitch ball. (Also, it'd be a sly way of avoiding any boos on what was supposed to be a celebratory moment.) Loria's choice ...
Kaká's Long-Range Finesse Strike Was A Work Of Art
While APOEL's Cinderella run through the Champions League was mostly over before today's return match at Real Madrid even started, Kaká helped slam the door by increasing the aggregate lead to 5-0 when he landed a shot from a position and with a curve more reminiscent of his teammate Cristiano Ro...
Lebanese Basketball Player Has Career Night, Scores 106 Points Above His Season Average
Mohammad El Akkari is a guard for Moutahed, Tripoli, in Lebanon's Division A League Final 8. He scored 113 points in Tuesday's 173-141 victory against Bejjeh, Jbeil—a slight improvement over his season average of 7.6 points per game. Akkari was 40 of 69 from the field, including 32 of 59 from 3-poin...